The man I've been dating for two years lied to me. Turns out he was married. What should I do?

Question

I was willing to divorce my husband for him.

Benlovegs · Accepted Answer

You were basically playing poker and got bluffed.. honestly not sure how I would react knowingly I was in a cheating relationship to begin with. We expect other to act like we do but that’s not always the case. How did he react when you confronted him about it?

molonski2 · Accepted Answer

Well , I feel for you , but lets be honest you were both married , so its kinda 50/50 , you really put yourself in this situation 2 years ago.

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

You were both cheating on your spouses. Neither of you is in the right.

Radiate143 · Accepted Answer

You got got. Happens. Does your husband know you were cheating?

AviatorTom · Answer

Wow. Two married people, not to each other, dating and cheating on their respective partners. Sounds like a soap opera or B movie.

Your husband deserves better. Tell him exactly what you've been doing, and let him decide what happens. You owe him that.

TheRealPepperPotts · Answer

For future reference, get divorced and  then  date.

blueonblack22 · Answer

I am really sorry for this horrible revelation. This must be devastating.

Most people are going to tell you to ruin away from him and never look back. But I get it you obviously have developed deep feelings for him over the last two years. Easier said then done to abruptly leave upon hearing the news

You really need to think long and hard about what kind of man would do such a thing. At best he’s a fantasy/sex/love addict and needs to join a recovery group. At best. But maintain that kind of lie for that long can only be done by somebody who most likely has sociopathic tendencies.

Anyway if he really had true feelings for you he would have confessed his marital status a long time ago. It would have nagged on his (likely absent) conscious. So at best he lied to pursue a fantasy of what things could be with you.

Anyway if he will cheat on his wife (especially to this extent) then he will cheat on you. And this was no one time incident where he got caught up in lust and temptation. No he willfully committed to adultery.

Anyway think about his wife must feel. Imagine if that was you. Also the only this guy is going to learn is if he faces stiff consequences for his decisions.

You telling him that he is a sociopath and then leaving him will teach him a hard lesson he badly needs. Don’t enable sociopaths and liars. Don’t reward them.

Gwendoline · Answer

You can't be surprised. A man who knew you already had a husband allowed you to cheat with him while you went back to your husband. That's not a decent man and any man with any self respect would be with a woman who cheated with him because he knows she would cheat on him.

It's your husband who is the real victim here. He trusted you and you thought yourself so clever and he so stupid that you did all this behind his back.

Go to confessions, confess your sins and try to be a good wife, mother and Christian.

RingOfFire · Answer

What a horrible thing. I feel terrible for you and I don't even know you.

So now you are in a position of being stuck with a man you are not happy with and being betrayed by the man who you thought would rescue you from that horrible situation.

It's a very difficult moment for you.

I think what you need now is courage, the courage to do what is right for you and not for these two other people who make you unhappy. s

As traumatic as I'm sure it is, it sounds like it's time to leave both of them and free yourself up for someone who really cares about you and your happiness. It sounds like neither of these two do.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

You have to be trolling.. obviously if he knows full well that you are or were cheating on your spouse, he is never in a million years gonna choose you as a partner.. He knows he has a loyal spouse at home so why would he pick a cheater? It's never gonna happen lol. Secondly if you haven't left your spouse yet, do it.. you are both unhappy and he doesn't deserve to be with someone who doesn't even love him and who is dating behind his back no less lol.

Investigator · Answer

This reads like the punchline to a bad comedy sketch act.

"The married guy I was about to divorce my husband for lied to me about being single. What do I do now?" Tell your husband, deal with the consequences of your "mistake" and then go from there.

"What if my husband divorces me?" Then "Congratulations... you played yourself."

RavVid · Answer

Do you see the irony in cheating with a man that you consider is cheating on you because he is cheating on his spouse with you as you are?

What you should do is tell your husband that you are a little piece of worthless shit.

Sorry for the harshness of that judgement but if your marriage was unsatisfactory you should have left it rather than trying to find a new one whilst in one.

SuchSightsToShowYou · Answer

If you're unhappy enough in your marriage to cheat on your husband, you should probably get a divorce. Either that, or recommit to your marriage and get counseling.

And you should probably cut off contact with the married guy you were cheating with.

Anonymous · Answer

LOL So you're married and you were seeing another guy, in other words lying to your husband. Then you find out he was lying to you about being single while doing the same thing to HIS wife. Tell me you're heartbroken or something? LMAO

You should meet each other's spouses. Maybe they'll like each other and you can swap out. If you don't like that idea, just keep having sex with him if it's fun. You deserve each other, but your spouses don't.

jshm2 · Answer

You were both cheaters, in other words.  Your city should spit on you both, but really you; as you were the one willing to go all the way.

OlofssonBengtsson · Answer

You left a good working Husband to be a side chick. That sounds like a choice. You got your fun and excitement out of it at least.

Darwin_n_chill · Answer

You got played, learn from it and move on. Don't allow yourself to be someone's easy source of sex without much commitment or investment.

Nikki1989 · Answer

I have been there too. Take whatever a man says with a grain of salt. Most are compulsive liars.

Raphaëlle · Answer

Break up with him and your husband and move on by yourself.

MicahRaine · Answer

. . . KARMA IS A--oh wait I'm chill. . . I'm chill😂

NathanOlipop · Answer

I suspect you're the man who's cheating and not the woman being cheated on here. Dunno why, but I just have this hunch.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

Mangospacho · Answer

Wow. You told him you were married and seeing him? And he still tried to tell you he wasn’t married? That’s a total dude move.

Emmytexrex · Answer

That was wrong but at least you have learned from this and don't go back to him  Go back to your husband

Adel50 · Answer

This is the madness we're normalizing these days.

Anonymous · Answer

So you're both cheating.. Lady get some therapy, come clean to your husband so he can leave you and find someone who isn't a piece of shit.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

CAN THE CAD !!! ("Cad?" Betraying my age much?)

Anonymous · Answer

Damn! So you were BOTH married? How much better was the sex than with your spouses?

Anonymous · Answer

You both were not dating, you both were having a secret affair. So why are you upset now? You wanted to enjoy, you did it.

Penelope79 · Answer

You deserve each other. You get no sympathy from me.

DarcyDarcyDarcy · Answer

Good job. Karma  I feel sorry for your husband not you

NathanDavis · Answer

this is like... cheatception...

Anonymous · Answer

I’m dead 💀 The lack of self-awareness is astounding.

slatyb · Answer

Stop seeing him, and also leave your marriage.

Flower7 · Answer

This sounds like a troll post.

smashleyy · Answer

I guess wipe the clown makeup off your face

MoonFace2 · Answer

Dump him and divorce your husband?

Unit1 · Answer

Low quality bait

Wise4myage · Answer

Find a way to tell his wife anonymously.

Intheclouds00 · Answer

You could put antifreeze in his Gatorade...

Pterodon · Answer

Learn from your mistakes and move on

Crazzyyworld · Answer

I thought you like bad boys

jahaims · Answer

Dump him obviously

seeyounexttuesday · Answer

lol, what?

kaucky1 · Answer

Just move on

The man I've been dating for two years lied to me. Turns out he was married. What should I do?

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