My girlfriend broke up with me during the trip I was going to propose, was very cold to me before but now is being normal now that we are broken up?

[Anonymous]

So she broke up with me on the flight over, she knew I was planning on proposing a week before the trip but said that we should wait. I asked her to give me a chance and wait till we were back, since it wasn’t exactly the best environment to be trying to work things out.

She agreed but was acting incredibly cold. No touching, no smiling, no joking, nothing. A few days in we had another talk and she just said it’s obviously not working out. And I said it’s because she has been putting in 0 effort. She keeps pushing me away. I am trying to act normal and trying to improve things but she won’t let me. I finally agreed to just give up on it and break up.

And since then she has been very snuggly, affectionate, telling me she loves me. Telling me how handsome I am. This is exactly the sort of effort I wanted before, I would have felt more normal with her. But now I am incredibly depressed, confused and frustrated that she couldn’t have done this when we were trying. Only now that it’s “over” does she put in any amount of effort. I am just so confused. 2 weeks ago, I was completely ready to spend the rest of my life with her, and when I begged her to just give me a chance she wouldn’t even try until after it was over.

Updates

4 mo

If she had been acting like this, we could have fixed things. I asked her why she wasn’t and she said it’s because she didn’t want to lie, that she wasn’t feeling those things and wanted to be honest with me. But how can she feel those things now that it’s over?

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that's a really messed up situation. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now - going through all that emotional turmoil on what was supposed to be a special trip. Having your girlfriend suddenly shut down and then break up with you when you were planning to propose is just brutal.

And the way she's acting now, being all affectionate and telling you she loves you, that's just super confusing and frustrating. I can see why you feel so upset that she couldn't have put in that effort when you two were still together and trying to work things out.

Honestly, it sounds like she may have some issues she needs to work through. The fact that she said she "didn't want to lie" about not feeling those things before, but now seems to be feeling them after the breakup, is really strange. It almost makes me wonder if she has some commitment issues or fears that she's struggling with.

Whatever the case, I know this must be an incredibly painful experience for you. Going from being ready to spend your life with someone to having it all fall apart like that has got to be really hard to process.

My advice would be to take some time for yourself, focus on your own healing and wellbeing. Don't let her mixed signals mess with your head too much - sometimes people do weird things when they're dealing with their own internal conflicts.

Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, and don't be afraid to reach out for professional help if you need it. Breakups are never easy, but you've got this, man. Hang in there. Sending positive vibes your way.

[Abbycado]

Why do you keep spamming this?

My girlfriend broke up with me on the flight to the place I was planning on proposing, she said she would give me a chance and see how the week goes?

[Asker]

Because this is a different issue from that…. its now how she is treating me post break up. Things have changed now

[Abbycado]

I don’t buy any of this. She breaks up and now she is “all snuggly”?

You both have issues. Who hangs out with their ex and snuggles? Ffs 🤦‍♀️

[Asker]

Because we are on a vacation, we aren’t hanging out, we are stuck together on a trip. And that’s the entire point of the post, that it’s very confusing behavior from her. I wanted to work on things but now that it’s over she’s acting like she used to

[Anonymous]

See responses from when you just posted this the day before yesterday

[HelpfulWoman]

its not worth it, and now its over she's suddenly doing all that? its weird. end things and move on.

[Asker]

I would, but I can’t move on until we get back home, we are still here for another couple days. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that she’s not cold, just for the sake of the trip. But this is exactly what I wanted her to do before

[HelpfulWoman]

ooooooooooooooooooh you're a troll spamming this? gotcha

[Abbycado]

Yup.