What would you do in this situation? Any advice?

[Anonymous]

I asked my wife for a paternity test, and she got furious, saying I insulted her character. She wanted a divorce right away. I got the test anyway turns out, the kid is mine. Now she’s leaving because I ‘never trusted her’ and ‘treated our son differently.’ Was asking for the test really that bad?

[Effably]

Hey I think you cheated on me and the kid you love as ours isn't mine.

Of course she'd be insulted. Doofus. That said, of course she should have also gone along with it and been understanding.

So in the end, you both suck? You should trust your partner. Your partner should be willing to do a small test to ease your insecurities whether they are justified or not.

I'd have handled it differently from the start.

At this point? What do you want to do? What result do you want? You can probably admit you have had trust issues in the past and simply could not get the thought out of your head. But you are happy the kid is yours and would still like to build a life together?

Its really not that difficult. Hit her with some genuine sincerity and let her see your perspective while apologizing for not seeing her's.

[PavlovsCogk]

He could also come up with a bullshit excuse that at his workplace there are way too many paternity fraud stories going round. And later admit that it was partial bullshit or at least exaggerated. But there is no way for it not to be partially true. How does one get the idea to test unless they've been told that somebody else's child wasn't theirs? The mechanism is the same, he's been brainwashed, and understanding this mechanism could make it less personal for her.

[Anonymous]

This is why paternity tests should be mandatory. Men can't win. If they ask for a test, they are "insulting" the mother. If they don't ask for one, they risk being one of the many men who are victims of paternity fraud.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Yeah, it's bad. You showed no trust in your wife and are accusing her of infidelity. What did she do to even be considered of that? You fucked around and found out. Now she's leaving and taking your child with her. So was it worth it?

[Little_Bumblebee]

You literally just accused her of cheating... So yeah, you showed you didn't trust her, and I get where she's coming from.

[hellno]

sking for a paternity test feels like a deep betrayal, especially if there was no real reason to doubt her. It’s not just about the test it’s about trust. Even if the kid is yours, the damage is emotional. Sometimes proving something comes at the cost of everything.

[Asker]

Yes, I think you're right, there's no trust left in both of us.

[femalewolf]

Asking for a paternity test, especially without a clear reason, is a huge breach of trust. It undermines the relationship and insults her character. Even if the test shows the child is yours, the damage is already done. Sometimes, curiosity comes at the cost of everything you’ve built together.

[Asker]

Actually it's because something went completely wrong

[adriano]

The problem is how it’s handled afterward. Trust is key in relationships, and it seems like the real issue is the emotional fallout from your actions.

[Asker]

thanks for advice

[777GgG]

Wondering why your couldn't just do it yourself? You're his father, with rights. You could've easily had a paternity test done with even asking.

Also wondering what made you question your son's legitimacy in the first place.

[alice55]

Well you lost a good woman.

It's very hurtful to hear when someone you love and trust does not trust you, it's one of the feeling that hurt the most so I'm not surprised by her reaction.

[Anonymous]

If you didn't trust your wife, you should have divorced her earlier. This was all doomed well before this.

[Miristheiss]

You should have just gotten it and not told her.

[dudeinohio]

You gambled and lost. In a normal marriage, one would not do this.

[Anonymous]

Good job. Well done.

This sounds made up af.

[RedInnocent69]

Dude! Yeah, that’s pretty bad. Did you know she was cheating?

[Jmmmfi4]

Wow that's the dumbest thing I've heard a guy doing in ages