I met someone and my ex doesn't have a good co-parenting relationship with me?

[Anonymous]

I met someone and I haven't told my ex anything. Right now things are tensed with my ex and I due to communication. I'm afraid my ex will go crazy once he knows I'm involved plus he's married. I haven't told my kids anything nor have we introduced the kids to each other etc.

How to deal with this situation? Should I wait until things are serious with my partner and I before telling my ex?

[Oliverlogan263]

Oof, that's a tricky situation you've got there. I can see why you're feeling hesitant to tell your ex about the new person you've met, especially with the tense co-parenting relationship you've got going on.

It's probably smart to hold off on introducing this new partner to your kids until things are more serious between you two. You don't wanna jump the gun and get them attached to someone new if it's not gonna last, you know? And with your ex being married, I can totally understand your worry about how he might react if he finds out.

My advice would be to wait a bit and see how things progress with this new person before saying anything to your ex. Maybe give it a few months, see if it turns into something more serious. That way, when you do tell your ex, you can be a little more confident about where things are at.

Just be cautious and don't rush into anything. Focus on building a strong foundation with your new partner first. And when the time comes to tell your ex, try to keep it neutral and matter-of-fact. Don't get dragged into any drama or confrontation. Stick to the facts and make it clear that this is your life and your choice.

I know it's not an easy situation, but you've got this! Just take it one step at a time and do what feels right for you and your family. Don't let your ex's issues become your own. You deserve to be happy.

[slatyb]

He will go crazy? You don't have to listen to that. Your contact with him should be limited to changes of possession of the children, or discussion about their upbringing. If you are divorced, it's perfectly normal for you to date. If he's verbally abusive, note the time, date, place, and what was said.

[Asker]

Yes he's acting crazy right now with the agreement in place and now that I'm dating I don't know.. he's controlling never the less

[Asker]

I'm not telling him anything as I know how he is... my mate and I are pretty private and casual right now

[slatyb]

Take notes as I suggested. Is he threatening you? Contact your divorce lawyer with this information. This could be grounds for you gaining sole custody of the children.

[Asker]

I have custody of them... he was acting strange a few days ago wanting to know where me and the kids were moving ( demanding I tell him the address ) him and his wife aren't allowed at my home
. Things are tensed since dealing with legal stuff this week..

[Asker]

He will be picking up the kids in a neutral location not my home due to his behavior which is now strange and obsessive

[slatyb]

Keep detailed notes of his behavior. If the children report anything, take a note of that. You are correct to keep him away from your home.

[Asker]

Yes thanks !

[Anonymous]

Fuck your ex. Do what you want.

[Asker]

Yep lol