Can a new person make you truly get over your ex or do you have to get over them by yourself?

Question

Since I started fancying this new guy I feel like I have completely gotten over him but I don't know if this is just me trying hard to get over him and I'm really not deep down or if I truly am ready to get over him and start with this new guy.

I guess only time will tell.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I don't know if this is useful or not but I will lay it out anyway.
When my husband abandoned our brand new son and myself at Christmas for someone else, it broke my heart in two.💔 I was never really the same after that. No one was him, and I still was in love with him.
Honestly, my heart break was still broken after 40 years!
I would hear songs that still reminded me of him, and I would feel tears in my eyes - even after 40 years!!
Then when I was 62 years old, I met my Patrick John.💘 He was a totally unexpected surprise in my life. I knew the first night that I met him that I wanted that guy! No question.
As it turned out, he felt the same way about me. YAY❣️ Patrick melted my heart right away.
I have a greeting card he gave me when we first met. It's pretty with pink 🌺 flowers on it and I put it in a pretty pink frame and it sits on my table next to my bed and next to his picture. It reads "When I saw you
I fell in love,
And you smiled
Because you knew."
I had the best time of my life with that guy!!! For 6 years we had a relationship. A year and a half before he died suddenly, he finally moved in with me. We were soooo happy together.
He mended this old broken 💔 heart of mine and I never looked back at my ex-husband again. It a special guy, just the right guy who made me forget about my broken heart that I was dragging around with me for 40 years.
I miss him more than words can say. But I have my memories of the guy who mended my broken heart like nobody else could.
If it's the right guy sis, you'll be so in love with him that you will be too excited every day to be with him ❣️

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

You never fully forget an ex, but you don't have to. A new, healthy partner can be instrumental in the final stages of healing, but only after you've done the heavy lifting. The catch is people do that at different paces. I know I can bounce back quickly, but I also know that is not the norm for many people.

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

‘Truly’ , well no ! , because in my opinion only ‘acceptance’ will free you but it CAN stop people wallowing in the self pity of it all by replacement , not that this describes you however , but that IS commonplace.
It also distracts from the introspection that comes naturally at the end of a relationship and the soul searching when it’s been a long term relationship and your not quite sure “who” you are without that other half.

For me , I have tended to fill my life with anything other than a new relationship when one has ended , throwing myself at new activities , being more sociable , work , projects refocussing on me as I lick my wounds and attempt to accept and understand.

Accepting that offering your heart comes at the risk of being emotionally hurt as well as feeling fulfilled is part of life if you want a romantic relationship. You win some you loose some and it doesn’t have to be anyone’s fault and you certainly don’t have to hide yourself away. When you ‘feel’ it’s time to open yourself up to another then that’s correct.

YourExLover69 · Accepted Answer

Time heals. Also talking with new guy or chatty friend helps for sure. 😊

ohsheeT · Answer

Well as your biggest supporter I would say yes and no
Ok sorry I'm just going to let it fly I'm not trying to be rude or any thing like that but I need to call it as i see it
Before you start going out with anyone there is some work you need to do first other wise it's going to end up like the last guy the before him and so on

And I probably shouldn't even answer this question because I see things in you you might not. See

And at the same time who I'm I to even be in your business..

And if I was to tell you what I think it doesn't mean I'm right

I should just make a bet with you lol and let's see who win that bet
And if I win then I would be right about something and the best thing to do it just work on yourself for one month then see if that changes and thing

Summeroflove · Answer

Well if you’re asking the question maybe you need to let yourself grieve. But if you’re also genuinely interested in him take things slow and see what materializes.

AviatorTom · Answer

No one can make you do anything, but a new person can make it easier for you to do it yourself.

Finchie40 · Answer

Yes , if they treaty way better than your ex did

Bitter_Sweet94 · Answer

A new person can support your healing, but they can’t do it for you.

Getting over an ex is mostly an internal process.

It’s about grieving what was real, letting go of what you hoped it would be, and rebuilding your sense of self without them.

A new connection can help by,

* reminding you that attraction and intimacy still exist

* showing you what healthier dynamics feel like

* giving perspective on what you actually want now

But if the attachment to your ex isn’t resolved, the new person becomes a distraction, a comparison, or a placeholder.

That’s when healing gets delayed, not accelerated.

The healthiest shift happens when,

* you’ve accepted the ending without needing closure from them

* you’re no longer trying to prove anything

* you’re open, not using someone to numb the pain

So yes, you heal by yourself but you don’t have to heal alone.

When you’re ready, the right person doesn’t erase your past.

They just don’t compete with it anymore.

Zack-Bann · Answer

My ex found out the hard way that’s not true and I had to suffer for it
She tanked our perfectly good relationship because she couldn’t get over her dipshit ex

I’ve seen your questions in the past, I don’t know if we’re talking about the same ex but you often ask about dating and imply you’re seeing someone.

I would say there’s nothing wrong with exploring your options

But you need to be very self critical about why you do what you do

Too many people jump into relationships with eyes closed and wonder why they fail

If you know you did things right you will be able to live with the ending whatever it may be

Spencer10 · Answer

I think you have to get over them yourself... others may help but until you are over them getting into a relationship may be unfair to the other person.

Lliam · Answer

A new partner can definitely make you get over your ex. If you stay single and horny after a breakup, you can wind up pining away and thinking about your ex, second guessing yourself and wondering if you should get back together.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

I think the other person can definitely distract you from the pain you feel but it will always take time to get over the other person.. but if you fall in love with the other person, I don't think you will still care about the old one.

Twodogs0525 · Answer

I think so. Maybe not initially but as you spend more time with them, eventually, they fill that void and become the person you think about and an ex becomes a memory.

warlock83 · Answer

Good question. It depends on how long you have been with them, but there is no concrete rule. It took me a few months to get over my last ex (we were together for almost 7 years), but the woman I was with for a few months felt a little longer because I had a lot of 'what if' moments.

SoccerPlayer99 · Answer

Nah. Rebounding is never a good way to get over someone and you often end up hurting the person you jumped into the relationship with.

WhitneySnow · Answer

It really helps if you meet somebody new you really like, but in the end the decision to move on has to come from yourself.

molonski2 · Answer

Time and yourself , your attitude , this is what will actually heal.

ABC1x1x · Answer

I dont think anyone should get over their ex. If they chose wisely there must have been a reason. You dont get over purpose. You move on with the lessons.

Shiprex · Answer

As long as you're thinking of exes they're going to interrupt your new moves

exitseven · Answer

Yes, sometimes you have to get back on the horse.

Likes2drive · Answer

I usually takes time but does speed up a little when you get a new person as long as they’re not a rebound person

Anonymous · Answer

Or or here me out now this may sound like a wild concept to you BUT BUT spend time by yourself and heal yourself and fix yourself first before dragging another poor schmug in your fucked up excessive baggage dramatic mess

khyalove12 · Answer

A new person can make you get over your ex. Because why would you want your ex back if you’re with someone new and for example if the previous relationship didn’t like end well?

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

A new person who is better than the last one will manage to make you forget your ex

AngryCarl2 · Answer

If you're fancying a new guy that tells me you're over your ex.

dudeinohio · Answer

I have found a new relationship helps resolve any feelings about the old one.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

You have to get over them yourself but a new person can definitely help especially if he's hitting it right

Ironco · Answer

You're all on your own... You make your future yours...

Anonymous · Answer

I've actually never been in any kind of relationship, so I don't really know.

serious · Answer

Yes it is possible but it is not always the case.

jazzy34 · Answer

The latter. Heal  before  moving on.

DrPepper12 · Answer

It helps but it's on you

WonderingManII · Answer

I think it depends on why it ended.

Sebastian100 · Answer

Get over the ex then get in a new relationship

guesswhereivebeen · Answer

New dick will make you forget all about that ex

Can a new person make you truly get over your ex or do you have to get over them by yourself?

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