Why do breakups feel almost as bad as a death?

[Anonymous]

After a year and some months, I'm still grieving the loss of him.

[exitseven]

Yes, breakups are hard. You can think you will never be happy again. I tried to look at it as just a part of life and think about how many people have experienced one and yet somehow survived and flourished.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO

[lightbulb27]

emotional pain is real and as bad as physical.

because it ties back into deeper sub conscious and until the thought patterns are improved, the pain remains.

[DishLady]

It’s bc you’re attached to a person, so the loss is real. But it’s not the same as death (where the person is never going to be in your life again). The memories may linger but it’s easier to move on than in instances where you’ve lost the person to death….

[Hardon-Collider]

Because you feel like you lost a part of yourself. Neither breakups, unemployments, nor death of relatives feel like that ever since i understood not to externalize my sense of self.

Grieve as much as you wish, but keep in mind that it's not even "love" if you and him were one same organism, or self. A giver cannot receive from himself, and if you called him "your other half" then it's plain attachment without love.

If you, yourself are really as good as you thought you were, then you haven't lost anything. Whatever you lost wasn't part of you, which means that you're just as awesome as before. Maybe my philosophy is as wise as a dog humping a pillow, but i think you can benefit from it. ㅤ

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Vy7MdhX2qzw

[Hardon-Collider]

It turned out quite funny. This song is about breakup and (near) death.

[Rangers]

Cause we know we're never going to make memories with that person ever again

But death is worse cause the possibility of ever making memories with them again is gone. May God have mercy on the souls of those who had to deal with a breakup only for their ex partner to die before they can make it right

My first breakup, it felt like I really did lose her forever. Eventually, I did, she has stayed out of my life and still to this day will not speak to me. The last thing I did was ask if she still loved me, 4 months after our breakup. She said "I have someone new, so do you". Her refusal to answer means one of two things, she still loved me or she never did. I think it's the first one

I thought I'd miss her forever, sometimes I still do, but I got over it. I just hope that one day I can fall as deeply in love and this woman keeps the same promises I kept her.

You'll suffer, cry, wail, just like I did but then you'll feel better. My next relationship didn't work, nor the one after that, then came my addiction. But with my addiction gone and my immediate health now secured, I hope to find a new woman. As for you, you'll get a new boyfriend, a much better one, just these wounds dry and close themselves in the meantime. Don't be running off for hookups, that'll just make you feel worse. Want something to look at? Here's Palermo, Sicily

[WindAtMyBack]

With a breakup, if you are the one doing the breaking then there is a choice. There is doubt and second guessing yourself. You can play a lot of "what ifs?" with yourself. There may be false hope. There may be all kinds of emotions.

With death, it's more like lack of emotions. You feel sad, but it's mostly an empty feeling. You just don't have the range of emotions that you do with a breakup.

The big difference is that you get over a breakup. With death, it fades, but never goes away completely.

Like many other things, when there is no choice in the matter, it somehow makes it easier. The finality of death is double edged in that way. It's over, and you have to accept it. You have no choice.

[beenherebefore]

I once heard a psychologist say that break ups can truly feel as devastating as grieving. If you think about it you're grieving the loss of a relationship and someone you love so I guess those feelings are normal and common after a breakup. Although they did not pass away you know you've lost them forever and it's painful to accept that.

[serious]

Well, I can never understand this because I have always been single. Never been in love so never experienced what an actual break up would be like.

[Nikki1989]

They are not even close.

A breakup is a new beginning, which is always positive. Life is meant to be about change.

[genericname85]

Cause the part of you that had planned your future with them is dying. So literally some parts of your character and identity are dying. That's why it feels so bad.

[Berethor]

Well it slutty to easily jump from one person to another person, so a long grieving is okay.

[jahaims]

Loss is loss. If you don't plan on being with an ex again then it's the same difference. If they die you never see them again and if you breakup you should never see them again.

[douride2]

I have never had a breakup that bad. Not even with a relationship that lasted years.

[Anonymous]

I never had a breakup, all I had was unrequited love, and it does feel bad.

[WhitneySnow]

Because they really hurt

[MasterKS]

do they really?