Is it really better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

Question

Heartbreak sucks! Is love worth that pain? Let’s imagine a perfect world in which everyone ultimately finds their soulmate. How many heartbreaks would be too many to continue going through the motions? Is true love worth nearly endless pain with no end in sight?

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

You have to understand love first of all

That means before you can love anyone you have to love yourself to the true meaning of love

If and when you can do this then you will understand love and all the reasons that make it work

If you dont love yourself first then the odd of finding love are still good. But as far as it lasting the odds are not in your favor

And that brings us to where love really comes from

Your sitting home everyday going through the motion of life
Someone comes in to your life you start dating you start doing new things

Every time this happens you open new doors with in side you and YOU HAVE FUN. YOU EXPERIENCE SOMETHING NEW

Every time this happens you become closer everything seems to be perfect. And it might be.

But your for getting one thing you can understand every thing
2 different ways. If you dont love and learn to love your self first.

Then you look at all the things you are both experiencing as if they are making you feel the way you feel and you call it love

If you truly love yourself. You know that you are the onlyone in side of you that can make you feel anything happy sad what ever. You love being with this person but they are not making you feel anything. Except for maybe when they give you apart of them

So now something happens you break up when you love yourself you understand it

If you dont love yourself the way you are meant to. Then that's when heart ache happens. Why. Because each and everyday you did things with each other. You both opened the doors with in you and every time a door was open you call it love.

And now when your apart and you stop doing things together it breaks your heart. And if they start doing things with another person it breaks your heart even more.

But when you truly love yourself and understand love then you also know you can open any door inside of you that you want. You understand that your the only one in side that can make you feel they you do or want to. You understand you can go out with friends open new doors within and your going to feel what ever it is you allow yourself to feel. Because of the moment with your friends and the love that you have towards them when you truly love yourself you love every one or you dont and when you dont they are not a part of your life

Hardon-Collider · Accepted Answer

Finishing a love cycle does not mean losing any more than a caterpillar has "lost in life" when it loses the ability to crawl around. In fact it trades it in for the ability to fly.

Ellie-V · Accepted Answer

That quote is tried and true for those who have acquired the grounded wisdom of gratitude and flow. If you want to know the joy of allowing and letting go, you have to grow into that with time from whatever level you’re at. So it will be more painful to some than others.

And it’s only “better” because the thought assumes that the experience of not knowing love is something unfavorable by some measure. That is a projection. We know it’s a projection from personal experience because there are existing individuals who report peace and satisfaction from not knowing love. They may define love differently 👀 but it’s valid.

Going through the motions sounds draining. It certainly can be. But it’s just a learning process. You can give up and decide to stop entertaining dates or whatever. Or you can take a deliberate pause.

But if you actually want that level of wisdom and you want to have fulfillment that isn’t conditional upon relationship status and attachments (temporary and lasting) then hopefully you’ll recognize the opportunity you have. Going through the motions can actually be pleasant and freeing once you’re done mindlessly chasing a desire. It’s okay to want something special and specific. It’s not okay to allow it to dictate your happiness.

Not everyone cares to make that kind of shift so it’s okay if this just sounds like a nothing burger. But at least consider enriching your skills of staying present. Regardless of what you choose, staying grounded in the now makes all relationships easier because you have a clear mind and an open heart.

Nothing can drain your cup in the now. You’re not invincible 👀 but it feels close enough!

RandomGirl42 · Accepted Answer

I understand your question but I don't really agree with it. It's not the love that caused any pain , it's the loss. It's like when I'm really hungover and people ask me, "Rough night?" , No, the night was awesome. It's the morning after that sucks.

I believe with all my heart I was born to love and I do not regret one tear I ever shed for being in love.

AviatorTom · Answer

It's always better to experience something than to miss out on it, regardless of the outcome.

I was married for 20+ years before an amicable divorce, and am now married again for 9 years and counting. I wouldn't want to have missed out on the experience of being married, loving someone... twice now.

Simslover92 · Answer

I have loved and lost and it's made me not want to be here anymore. It's not worth it.

FreakInTheBedroom · Answer

This is a really good question and I picked that i had found true love before but the more I think about it I don't know if I could call it that because... well ill say it like this i was deeply madly in love with a woman and we were together 14 years when I discovered her cheating and I took her back because I forgave her instantly and I bought the bullshit story she come back with about how she realized she messed up and blah blah blah the next 9 years were misery but thats another story, anyways as it turned out she in a narcissist and isn't capable of loving someone in the way i do as her love was conditional and based upon what you could do for her and I was blind to that notion until I discovered what she really was.
But i will say for awhile I believed everything she said and I thought she loved me the way I loved her and I will say I was happy back then and I felt the best I've ever felt and so I can only imagine if it were real and reciprocal how good it would feel because I was on cloud 9 with some9ens fake love... all in all I do believe true love is the best feeling one can feel and she may not know or believe but I would have walked to the edge of the world for her, she doesn't even know how bad she broke my heart or the pain I still feel because of her, she done me so fuckin dirty that I could easily hate her for it but then again I can't hate her because its not in me to hate her, she cheated again and I left her and it was so hard to push myself away from that which I loved more than anything but I did it and I also had to turn. her away when she come crying back again saying blah blah blah but I knew better then to believe her lies again and I get sad still because im alone and I imagined every part of my future with her in it and I get so fuckin angry at her because we were supposed to be together and I get so mad at myself for trying for so long to figure out how to fix us when there was no fix but if I could do it all over again would I? Absolutely because if their was even a chance that I could find someone to be with that felt the way I felt about her if they felt that toward me then I would know that no matter what things would always be okay because love... short answer yes I would choose to suffer for true love because I would know that it would all be over soon because real love doesn't hurt, it doesn't get angry or sad it isn't jealousy its happiness, its joy, its magical and as you can see the less of it their is in the world the more then world falls apart.

serious · Answer

Well, the answer to this is actually subjective to each person. Yes I have heard this quote and it is a beautiful one. The answer to this would depend on the mentality and the risk taking ability of the person.

Yes, to love and to be in love means taking risks, it means to be vulnerable and to have the ability to experience love be it good or bad. Hence if the person has these qualities then for such people it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

However, for some people protecting themselves is more important than to explore and experience love and what matters to them is to be safe rather than taking the risk to be vulnerable, to trust etc then for such people it is always best to have never loved than to have loved and lost. For such people the opposite of the quote is true.

Hence both aspects of the quote are true as it is dependent on the person.

exitseven · Answer

There is a limit to how much I would endure. Years ago I had ended a long term relationship. It ended because of external circumstances but it was hard to deal with just the same. Afterwards I had 3 relationships that all ended very painfully. After that I decided that I was done with dating maybe forever. Ironically I met my future wife the next day.

bobalife · Answer

I don't know, people usually say it’s better to have loved and loss than never to have loved… but I can’t quite understand why. Maybe because I’m too focus on the hurt and losses. I hope someone can inspire or help me understand this meaning.

RubyRed12343 · Answer

If I loved someone and built my dreams and life with them, only to lose it all one day and end up worse off than if I had never known them, then I’d rather not go through the hassle and just have steady, simple relationships.

Zack-Bann · Answer

Your scars tell your story  Yes they hurt  But a clear skin is bland and boring and wasted potential  So it’s better to have loved and lost any day

MrChinaski · Answer

"Love is the answer And you know that for sure" John Lennon Besides, is there something you would rather be doing with your life?

strateguy632 · Answer

2nd.

Cidknee · Answer

I wouldn't know!

Is it really better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

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