Is it normal to still dream about your first ex after 5 years of separating?

[Anonymous]

I was in a long-distance relationship for a couple of years with this guy when I was just graduating high school (he was a year above me, in college then), and now I'm graduating college. We broke it off because we decided long distance was too much for us at the time.

Now, I have a cat with my boyfriend. His friends and family love me, and him and I get along well (for the most part). However, I go through phases where my ex appears in my dreams over and over again. Just us being together in some random setting, but they kind of romanticize him---enough to make me not want to wake up from the dream. He has his flaws and I don't think of him often, but now he's cycling through my mind again. Is this crazy? Am I not over him? It feels like so long ago, but it's making me question the integrity of my current relationship. Thank you for any thoughts/advice.

[HollyK21]

I wouldn’t be surprised if you weren’t fully over him, mainly because the breakup wasn’t something you wanted but needed to be done and you may always have that “what if” factor in the back of your mind. At the same time it does make you question the integrity of your current relationship because I think that if you were truly fulfilled then you wouldn’t be subconsciously missing someone else.


Years ago I dated a guy I was really serious about, but we had to end things due to him having to move states for a better job opportunity and me not being able to go. We kept in touch on and off for a few years after that up until I met my fiancé, I walked away from that situation without even noticing and I haven’t missed it a day since. This isn’t to say my relationship is perfect, we have our ups and downs but at the end of the day I’m fulfilled. When you’re dreaming about that ex, to me it sounds like yearning not necessarily for him but for certain things (or thing) he provided even at a distance that maybe your boyfriend isn’t giving you in-range.


All this to say, maybe it’s time to do some soul searching. Reflect on those dreams and/or that relationship and figure out what it was about it you really miss. Think about what’s happening in your dreams, what he’s doing or saying, see what sticks out. It could be your subconscious trying to send some sort of message, maybe not about him specifically but that there’s fundamental things you need and your boyfriend isn’t giving.

[ohsheeT]

In life people will come and go you will have physical relationships you are how long distance relationships I call this energy relationships. This is where you gonna learn a lot about life. And who you truly are

Because as you talk and start to grow you start to have intimate chat there becomes a connection

We are all made of energy then you have a frequency that you put out like a radio station the highest frequency is love it's spiritual now, if you can combine your frequency with their frequency, your energy, with their energy on a spiritual level because of love, there's going to be one of the greatest connections, the greatest feelings you're going to ever feel in this world.

This is when 2 people become one. There's only a few ways to get there and if you're lucky to ever get there , it's the most beautiful thing ever when you find this person, you can do this with you. Want to do it all the time and of course , you can break up , you're going to miss that person , you're going to dream of that person , you're going to want wish for a lot of things.

As you grow , you will understand this energy and you will understand that you always have it. It's just finding the right person to share with.

The longest distance relationship un knowingly you start to use this energy in different ways and it is ten times more powerful than a physical relationship and can be ten times more beautiful than a physical relationship

In that moment , but once you understand it and you get into a physical relationship , everything changes

You're frequent is just like what's on the radio station. It's traveling when you allow it to travel through the airwaves

Once you learn how to control that astro project that's even deeper. But yes , to answer your question , yes

[Finchie40]

It seems you and and your ex left on good terms instead of bad terms , so that might be the reason you still fantasize and dream about him , when my one ex girlfriend and I broke up because she ended up moving away , I still hold feelings for her because we didn’t have any bad ties between us , after some years went by , her and I connected again on the internet , and the feelings for each other were still there , it’s like we started off where we left off , unfortunately she was married, but if she wasn’t we would of gotten back together because she said she still thinks about me often and wishes things could of been different and wishes she didn’t have to move away. I told her if her and her husband don’t work out , to feel free to reach out to me and see if I am available or not , I still love her and always will because of the connection we shared

[DishLady]

Your first will always linger a little. You'll possibly even idealize him a little. It's fine. Don't let it weigh on you too much.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, dreams—sometimes our subconscious throws us a curveball! Dreaming about an ex, even years later, is totally normal and doesn’t necessarily mean you're not over him. It might just be your brain processing old memories or unresolved feelings. 💤

You've built a life with your current boyfriend (a cat together? That's serious business! 😺). Focus on the reality of your loving relationship. Trust the love and connection you’ve built with him! If these dreams bug you, consider reflecting on why they might be cropping up now. You’ve got this! 🌟

[Purpleronnie]

From what I ‘beleive’ dreams are are symbolism at best , regarding memories , emotions , fears , wishes as well as that which is un-resolved.


Attempting to conjure a meaning out of that psychological soup is frought with problem and can simply be meaning free and simply away of processing thought.


So , normal? Absolutely… I once dreamt somewhat consistently over a few weeks of a blue transparent cat , it would feature as a part of other dream sequences. I never did connect a meaning but it is something my mind conjured up not unlike an emotion and as we all know emotions don’t need to be based on fact


Your processing emotions and thoughts , it’s normal , nothing more should be read into it

[Keyboardkat]

I'll tell you, you NEVER forget your first love! First love is very powerful. It leaves a mark on you which is never completely erased. That doesn't mean you can't move on from it or that you can never truly love anyone else. But there will always be that "what if" somewhere in your psyche. Your first love is the "one that got away." This is why they tell you never to contact your first love years later if you are not single and available, because you can get into a bind. Don't go there.

[FunkyMonkee]

It depends on long you've been with them. If it was just a few weeks/months, I wouldn't think they'd still be in your dreams 5 years later unless they were a HUGE part of your life.
I worked in a print shop for over 11 years but left in `13 but, I still have dreams about it and the people I worked there with!
As for my ex, we were together for 10 years but I don't recall having ANY dreams about her even when we were together!! If I HAVE had any of her since we broke up in `01, it was well over a decade ago.

[WonderingManII]

I think when human's make a deep connection, it can be really hard to break that connection. In your cause it sounds like you must of had a very good connection with this person, and those emotions are still strong in you.

[Anonymous]

you never had true closure, never got to do the things that normal in person relationships get to experience, leaving you longing. so yeah, in your situation, it may be normal. but you eventually have to move on.

[Opinion Owner]

long distance relationships leave your mind in constant "what if"s

[queenofcardio]

Sounds like you're not over him because you're still thinking about him 5 years later.

[slatyb]

Yes it is. I had occasional dreams about a teen crush for about 20 years.

[exitseven]

I can honestly say that after I broke up with her, she never entered my dreams.

[DextroShade]

You are alpha widowed

[Anonymous]

No, it's not.