To those of you who cheated, what went through your head moments before and after the point of no return?

[nik_the_cur]

I haven't cheated back, but my ex did that and I'm very curious, what goes through someone's head during those moments

[NessaEssa]

For me I can be faithful but when there is a lack of sex (partner say it is not that important) and communication problems meaning that you ignore me and you are not willing to talk things out. Those are very important especially the sex. Remember sex equals happy partner and if not happy she will be a total bitch.

Now if a cute guy (that she is attractive to) comes up to her and doesn't care if she has another guy in her life. Yes she will expect it. At first she will feel guilty and maybe forever. She knows it's wrong but she won't care because in her head she knows she already messed up. Once you mess up there is no turning back. So she won't care if she gets caught. There were already problems.

Now the moment when she is having sex with the other guy. You are not even in her head. She is lost in the moment because she's in that happy place.

[nik_the_cur]

@NessaEssa and what happens immediately after the sex? Especially the first time of cheating?

[NessaEssa]

Nothing really just feels guilty

[NessaEssa]

In my case wait till the relationship explodes. Get caught or just take it to the grave.

[nik_the_cur]

@NessaEssa so has it happened multiple times?

[NessaEssa]

Sex only twice with the same guy.
We were talking before sex just as friends.
Just remember that in a relationship if you want it to work forever. Don't forget the little things. That may not mean anything to you like her birthday, anniversary etc. because they mean a lot. Always talk about sex make sure you know what she likes and doesn't. Saying I love you is nice but show it too. Small things like holding her hand in public do it no matter how many years the relationship is. Most important is the communication because there are going to be fights and that's normal. Sometimes you're going to want to kick each other's asses. Lol. Just don't sleep on it talk it out.

[butterly248]

The time he asked from the restaurant when I agreed to go back the hotel :(

[nik_the_cur]

@butterly248 I'm sorry I don't understand, could you elaborate?

[robocop666]

In the show cheaters. Men always blame lack of activity in the bedroom and women say the men are too occupied with their hobbies and neglect them.

[nik_the_cur]

@robocop666 I don't care for TV, what's your experience?

[robocop666]

women wre interested in me and more so that their partners

[Anonymous]

I was kinda panicking thinking “omg am I really doing this?” I do feel the guilt but also was excited because I’ve never done anything like that before (as in cheating).

But then after I was hit with guilt and thought “oh no.. there’s no going back… I’m a pos”. I cheated as a revenge after my ex cheated on me, honestly though it made me feel relieved after

[truthteller234]

cheating usually occurs when there is a major unresolved problem in the relationship

[nik_the_cur]

@truthteller234 I can understand. I'm curious on what goes on the head of the person who is cheating, moments before deciding to go for it. Isn't there any regret at all? When does it go away?

[truthteller234]

@nik_the_cur

there is no universal thought that goes on in every cheater's mind... some cheaters don't regret it... some do...
but what I can say is... over 90% of the time, when someone cheats, its usually due to an unmet need.

[nik_the_cur]

@truthteller234 yeah sure that makes a lot of sense. I was hoping to open a conversation with people who have cheated and hear their personal experience/ opinion. Of course there is no universal thought

[truthteller234]

@nik_the_cur

one time I cheated because the guy I was with simply didn't prioritize me or put in any effort into the relationship at all. I was looking for a replacement.

[nik_the_cur]

@truthteller234 did you break up afterwards or went on with the relationship after the cheating for a little while?

[truthteller234]

@nik_the_cur

I'm still actually in the relationship. Have been unable to find a replacement as of yet.

[nik_the_cur]

@truthteller234 I see, so the cheating has happened multiple times?

[sawno]

Nobody would want to when they know that your doing it this way. Its a logical thing to do, but not an ethical thing to do. The ethical way is leaving someone and then looking, not the other way round. Shows you can't be trusted in a relationship.

[truthteller234]

@nik_the_cur

It happened once. I was looking for a replacement.

[truthteller234]

@sawno

lots of people stay in relationships that go nowhere.

ever seen the relationships where a couple lives together for 7 years, buys a dog, play husband and wife but never marry? that relationship is a sham. Both individuals are looking for a replacement but don't have the guts to leave.

[truthteller234]

@sawno

in this case, he's just plain awful which is why I'm interviewing for a replacement.

if he were a better high quality guy, i wouldn't be cheating on him.

[nik_the_cur]

@truthteller234 when you say once, you mean one sex or one guy (multiple times having sex) ?

[truthteller234]

@nik_the_cur

we went on multiple dates. No sex.

[truthteller234]

@nik_the_cur

lotta people would sympathize with the person being cheated on. but you don't realize is that... they might be getting cheated on because they're just a terrible partner. Some people don't break up... they just stay till something better comes along.

[nik_the_cur]

@truthteller234 as I've been in a similar situation, do you mind taking into pms? I'd like to ask you a few things if you don't mind?

[truthteller234]

@nik_the_cur

I'm more likely to respond here

[nik_the_cur]

@truthteller234 it's ok never mind then. I'm guessing it's gonna be along conversation and was hoping to get your feedback. I don't think this is the right place but that's fine

[sawno]

I call bullshit, my parents are married for like 40 years and have lived together the entire time. They are as happy as a couple can realistically be.

[truthteller234]

@sawno

your parents don't represent all couples. maybe your parents both contributed to their marriage. some people out there deserve to be cheated on cuz they're just so awful.