After a long breakup, how do you know you’re truly ready to date again?

[Ammi_goldie806]

Hello girls ask guys, it's been a while since I haven't been on this website. I am now 23 as of September 28th!. I broke up with my long distance boyfriend in 2022 and haven't dated after him since than. I been working on myself and moving on with my life and getting my bachelor's degree n psychology this coming October which I am excited about! I have been asking questions on here since I was 18years old and looking back makes me want to cry of how mature I have become over the years. my question is simple, in your own words what or when is a good time to start dating?

[ohsheeT]

Happy birthday Virgo Girl

To answer your question only you know that

First things first not every relationship is meant to be
What they are meant to be is a learning moment in time to make you grow in many ways or not and you get caught up in society's rules of getting lost in the pain


Next time you get into a relationship before the relationship starts ask yourself if you're ready for this ask yourself if it does not work are you strong enough to stand back up and start all over again if you say no and get into that relationship you're going to break up and it's going to drag on forever

If you say yes Then you know no matter what happens in that relationship You're not going to allow it to hurt you again because you will understand it's just a learning experience something that you had to go through and you might have to go through it five more times who knows but stand back up

When we were two years old We got the lesson of a lifetime When we first started to learn how to walk We would stand up we would fall down we would stand that we would fall down We would walk we would fall down but we would always stand right back up And keep going no matter what The biggest lesson in life is that lesson right there

You are the only person on the inside of you you are the only one in this world that can make you happy or sad remember that because it's 100% true do not feel sad because somebody wants you to feel sad do not feel sad because somebody does something that hurt you stand up and walk be your own person have your own feelings because that's all you have is what is inside of you

It's your choice to get caught up in society's rules or is your choice to believe in yourself and keep going forward no matter what

So now to answer your question do you love yourself do you truly love yourself are you happy do you have love to give if the answer is yes then you are ready

And understand no relationship is perfect no relationship is going to last forever it's working in motion with two people if one of them stops working it it's not going to work you have to accept that and walk away and move on to the next one and understand it was just a learning experience
Life is not about two people together whether it lasts or it doesn't last life is about you and what you give to the world because this is all you have is you it's great it's one of the beautiful things in the world is to get hooked up involved committed with another person but if they are not on the same page as you it's not going to work and you have to accept that and move on and not beat yourself up for it find yourself love yourself and take one step in front of the other and go find what you're looking for because you are the only person that can do that happy birthday Virgo girl and as a Virgo you already have all the answers within you we all do you just have to have somebody to open the doors to bring them out we all are the same way but especially Virgos

[Finchie40]

When you feel ready to , only you can decide that. There is no time limit on when you feel ready. It’s best to heal yourself first before you invest your time into someone else , to make sure you are clearly over your ex , because if you aren’t , then it will be disrespectful of you to invest your time into someone else. One of the biggest turn offs is dating someone that constantly talks about their ex like their ex was this amazing person. I will stop dating girls’ that do that shit. Your ex is an ex for a reason, keep it that way , if they were such a great person , they wouldn’t be your ex period. Nobody wants to be compared to an ex , it’s disrespectful, After my wife and I went our separate ways , I took some time for myself and focused on myself and my well being , I decided to not rush into a relationship with anyone. But I was open to dating , if a beautiful girl showed interest in me. I consider myself an honest person because I don’t like blind siding anyone , so I immediately tell whoever is showing interest in me that I just got out of a long term marriage and that I am not rushing anything with anyone. I need to really get to know you before I even consider another relationship. Most girls’ that I meet are cool with it and understand. Dating to me is just getting to know someone , so I been open to dating and having fun. I want to play my cards right this time around because I don’t want to experience heart break again. I mainly look for alignment with a girl and chemistry and connection and consistency. If she passes all those tests 😂 I will consider being in a relationship with her. Lately I been experiencing FWB’s which I am fine with , as long as her and I are on the same page with things and we are both walking on the same path together until we both see the big picture. So we don’t end up with a broken heart of one of us decides this isn’t really what they want. Unfortunately a lot of people change their minds once infatuation runs it’s course , So FWB’s kind of eliminates that from happening

[jennifer_bloom]

I used to see this quote all over the web, which is, if you build it, they will come.

Like you can chase like crazy over a guy or girl and not get the guy or girl, but if you chase personal growth and self improvement, you will have endless dating options, because the world is attracted to healthy and happy people and the world chases those that chase their own personal growth and professional advancement and self-improvement.

The reason a Christian is more likely to get married at a young age, is that Christians are trained all their religious lives, to chase the kingdom to get what they want, and not chase what they want to get what they want, and that is what is missing from all these movies and t. v. shows and dating sites, people are chasing their partner, and they are not chasing a better version of their own lives. If you chase a better life, you will attract a partner without even chasing them.

And I do not mean just money when I say better life, I mean things like, confidence, peace, happiness, courage, healing from past pain, upgrading life skills, like budgeting, or house keeping, or cooking or talking, or physical exercise, or just the way you approach people.

[Kvass]

You won’t know until you try. Find a fool you can use for a little while, just make sure he’s enough of a fool not to realize he’s being used. A little practice does wonders before getting back on the dating market. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

There was a situationship in my case most of the time.
We getting to to close but as I was not confident or attractive for her. I used to fall in love very quickly.
And I used to hurt myself each time.
The last situationship was painful, we had dates, hangout, hugs, cooking together (we were flatmates in student accommodation)
I am Indian and she was Chinese, she didn't find me attractive at all.
But we did get too comfortable around each other.

And after some argument, she just ignored me.
I was so much broken that I only had chopsticks which were a gift of her. I could give anything to see her again.
She left the country after finishing the course without saying a goodbye.
It still hurts a bit.

But as soon as she left with in 5 days I posted an add on a group that I want to eat ramen (I planned with her tbh, but as she left the country, I wanted company to go to that place).
A girl from that group said ok I'll join and now we are dating.
I am not at all attractive, but she found that I am just a nice guy.
I was just too lucky in time. Now I don't think much about my flatmate.
Or my other one sided love stories or anything. As I just love my girlfriend now.
I haven't forgotten because the pain is there.
Life goes on someone else just takes the place.
The tears are just un expressed love. Try to move on slowly...
If you get lucky like me yes. But if you don't just let time heal the wounds but you have to be motivated enough for that.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I know it because I feel it

I feel a sort of peace of mind where the thoughts of past events don't burn me anymore, this past became... Neutral, I'm neither sad nor nostalgic about it anymore. And when I feel like that, it always means that I'm ready, that I'm going to have this... another moment where I discover someone new that I'm curious about. It's really the same pattern each time, for me

[MrChinaski]

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone. It it's the right someone. I don't see any upside in closing off options... why miss out on someone awesome because the timing doesn't feel perfect. The timing is never going to feel perfect. My 2c anyway.

Happy birthday!!

[Alex-Snow]

Ammi you have not dated in 4 years. If your heart and gut tell you it is time then it is time. Personally I think you should start. There are some good guys out there who deserve you. Give it a shot. I'm near your age so message me if you want to chat more about it.

[Nikki1989]

I have never had a long breakup and have always been ready to date. That didn't stop until I met my husband in 2009.

[MannMitAntworten]

After my last girlfriend and I split in March of 2020 I started seeing someone else in 2022. She died my Mom passed less than a year before her then my Dad passed a month after the gal I started seeing had passed. Ever since I had the desire to date.

[lilBigPotato]

I believe in the saying that the best way to get over your ex is to date someone new, so I don't wait too long.

[Coden7]

In my opinion. You need to hunt for someone who allows you to forget about the one you lost. It didn’t work out with the last one. Find someone who can replace that energy with a better outcome.

[TonyMetal___1986]

I don't know you but maybe you know me...
To me i'll never know when the right time will be to love again, everytime i think about it, i take 10 steps back 🤷🏻‍♂️

[exitseven]

With me it was when I could find another girl who would go out with me.

[rgb008]

When you don’t think about them anymore and the idea of dating doesn’t make you sad

[AngryCarl3]

I mean you probably just meet someone.

[Anonymous]

I just move on without looking back