How do I tell him I miss him?

[Anonymous]

So me and my guy friend kind of started 'seeing' each other, we acted like we were in a relationship, talked every single day, spent a lot of time together, pda's, used to cuddle up, sleep over and to be honest yes we did do it a few times. It's odd cause he's the only guy I've slept with apart from my long term ex, who I'm completely over now.

So he decided he's not ready for an actual relationship, but he carried on cuddling me from time to time etc. After a few conversations with friends I said to him if he just wants friends and that's it, we can't do more. Which I think is fair in the sense, because I don't want 'fwb'. we've seen each other since once, and this conversation happened about 2 weeks ago. we've barely spoken on text anymore, he doesn't start conversations with me, and honestly I miss him. Not just us hanging and spending time with each other like we did for like 3 months straight, but as my friend too~ we don't even speak really and I miss that :-(

How do I tell him without sounding desperate, or how do I sort this out?

Thx

[win-win241]

I think you kinda have two options:

1.) Tell him you miss talking to him

2.) Just text him sometime asking how things are going

With option 1, you have the advantage of course of putting all the cards on the table. Yeah, you might feel like you're sounding desperate, but at least you don't have it eating at you anymore. Plus this will put the ball in his court and he can decide where to take your relationship. That being said, I wouldn't tell him you miss him and whatnot right away but instead tell him you miss him and see what his reaction is. It'll most likely take him time to think about where you two currently stand (and if he would want to pursue anything in the future).

Option 2 is a little slower method of getting things rolling again, but it can feel a bit more natural which I think he'd appreciate. You said that he doesn't start conversations anymore, does that mean you yourself text him first? If so, about how often? Also, if you are, you could try going a few days or a week without texting him and see if he contacts you. Anyways, with this option I think you also need to decide whether or not you can be "just friends" or if you have to have a relationship eventual. Being "just friends" while wanting the other person can start to suck after awhile; however, who knows, maybe he'll start to see that it can work out with you.

[Asker]

Yes the last couple times I initiated, it was me who asked him to hang out but yes, I'm not the clingy type: I left it a week until yesterday, had heard nothing~ so I dropped him a text. I find it strangest as it was so regular we texted and spoke, and now nothing barely. He used to tell me he missed me and now things seemed to have changed suddenly.

Can I ask... if a girl was to say I miss talking/hanging out with you, would you find that weird/ clingy or other/sweet?

[win-win241]

Yeah, I see what you mean with the sudden change...he may just be taking some time to adjust. How have your text convos been though? Like does he respond pretty quickly & do they last awhile?

I don't think it'd be weird or clingy if you told him you missed talking to him. Just mention it sorta in a natural way though if possible; like maybe at the end of your convo tell him it was good talking to him, you've missed it or something like that...hope this helps

[Asker]

The text conversations been very basic, not very talkative at all... He does take longer than he used to to reply as well if not quite a bit longer. When we saw each other we were laughing and joking and there wasn't awkwardness at all though :-s But yes as natural as possible way I would feel most comfortable doing it

[Asker]

sorry *if not a lot longer sometimes

[win-win241]

If nothing's awkward around you two when you hang out, then I don't think you should worry too much...he's probably still unsure of how he sees you, and so he's being careful when he texts you. Of course there's also the scenario that's he's just been real busy and hasn't had much time to talk.

[Asker]

thanks for your help :-)

[dragonfly6516]

It really sounds to me like he only wanted sex. He bailed when you asked for a relationship and said the sex is off if he doesn't agree.

[Asker]

I can see where your coming from, but I didn't do it in that kind of way like with a gun to his head or anything, lol :-L

[Asker]

thanks for your comment :-)