Should I wish her happy birthday?

[deadman]

So, I was seeing the most amazing girl I have ever met and we had a very intense and passionate time together, but in the end I broke it off with her because she wouldn't commit to me. I told her that I loved her and she pretty much shot me down...she never said she didn't feel the same, but I got the picture.

I haven't heard from her in nearly two months and its her birthday tomorrow. I really wanted to hear what people think I should do. I've been thinking about it all week, I so badly want her, but I know I have to move on. It goes against my character not to wish her all the best, but I know if I hear from her I might just fall back into thinking we might have a chance again. I've changed my mind every single day this week...PLEASE some advice?

Updates

+1 y

Still not sure what to do, but thanks for the comments. Best answer will be given when I decide what to do. Cheers x

Updates

+1 y

So I didn't contact her on her birthday, and it seems she expected me to. She texted me a few days after her birthday telling me she didn't play games with me and she wished me well...Sorta tried a guilt trip on me...anyway I ignored her...I'm not falling into her trap again.

[carinabina820]

1.) Every time you get these, "she was so amazing" thoughts, remind yourself how she makes you feel in the here & now, meaning, how that heartbreak feels. She is not amazing for breaking your heart, sorry, nothing but the truth.

2.) You should wish her happy birthday, but if you are going to try to start conversation besides that, don't do it. Trust me, you will just upset yourself.

3.) Take an account of now and the future: #1 she's not here or being amazing now, #2 you deserve someone that is being amazing now, and #3, you are very sad, but need to move on and you realize this (which is good progress).

4.) I say this to everyone about moving on because it really, really, really does work: every time she crosses your mind, picture her really clearly on a leaf floating down a stream, wish her well, and let her float to wherever the hell she is going. Do this every time she comes up.

5.) Get involved in something new (or old that you loved). It will fill up your time & provide potential for a new girl

Good luck! and I'm sorry she broke your heart :c <3

[deadman]

Thank you! Just so you know, I decided not to contact her at all. x

[Anonymous]

You had every right to break up with her for that reason. She was leading you on by dating you but not wanting to be in a committed relationship. However, there's no harm in wishing her a happy birthday. Even if you haven't spoken in a while, it's still a nice gesture, and people inherently love to hear from other people on their birthdays. The fact that you think you'd fall back in love with her shows that you're not over her anyway, so you're going to still have feelings for her whether or not you choose to wish her a happy birthday. I've learned from experience that you can't escape your feelings for someone even if you try to do everything to censor that person from your life.

[Anonymous]

normally I would say yes depending on the situation but in this case NO! she is not interested the more you show her love the more she will walk a way. Maybe if you don't maybe she would notice. and if she don't let it wasn't meant to be...leave her alone and it IS someone better for you...I KNOW...its probably a good reason you haven't gotten close or she hasn't commited...

GOOD LUCK

[thetheme]

No... Communicating with her will do a couple of things. Boosting her ego/putting her on a pedestal that she doesn't deserve, and it shows a sign of chasing/not being able to move on when she clearly didn't want a commitment from you. You have no obligation to her what so ever and you have moved on. She made her decision about you a long time ago.

Then if you were to do this, you would be giving yourself false hope more ways than one. You would wonder why she wouldn't contact you (on your birthday for example), and that would screw with you. She KNOWS how you felt about her already, but probably has already moved on. So you should do the same. Never contact her again, don't give her any attention, and move forward.

[ryanrhino]

Yes, wish her happy birthday. I still wish my ex-wife happy holidays and will even buy her minor things.

Do not expect anything in love - ever! It is not for you to get what you want from her. It's her choice to give it.

Express yourself in ways you are comfortable.

If it goes against your character to NOT wish her the best, then DO it! Do not allow yourself to expect her return in kind.

I've been where you are, man! I think you are more ready for a relationship than she is, but don't wait for her. With all of the awesome people in this world, I'm sure a woman is looking for a guy of your character.

Be honest and true. Isn't that your character?

[steveman2008]

i went through the same thing man. I know where your comin from. You want to but you don't want to because your feeling are so strong towards her. Honestly it would make her feel better knowing that you still care to notice the little things. Because who are we kidding you know you want her back in your life. Feelings or no feelings. Feeling something is better feeling anything at all. And the best thing is you may find out that she really misses you. Show her what she is missing out on. Be your self and shine. You are the maker of your future. Good luck.

[Phoenix52]

Gotta move on, buddy.

Don't wish her a happy birthday. What you need to do is run into new girls and collect numbers. Start dating new ones.

The more you think about her, the crazier you become. Control yourself and work on your life.

And by the way, I usually believe it's the girls who request commitment from the guy, not the other way around. That's how its always worked for me. Girl grows attraction to me = I keep the attraction for her at bay.

[sineadocl]

thats not true, I don't like commitment, not cos I like whoring myself out, just because I'm terrified of being messed around all the time, happened way to many tmes. I hav to be 100%sure about this guy and will he be good for me. cos if I'm just seeing him and he does something sh*t then I can say that he wasn't commited to me so no biggy. but if you really want to text her go for it, its not a bad thing to do, its nice. to be honest your never going to get an opening text lk this again. good luck x

[hayfa]

i think the guy should be the one to request commintment from the girl. I would not not ask a guy for commitment, We can carry on playing games if he doesn't want to ask because it hurts his ego or something because I'm not asking. If he likes me enough he would ask

[Phoenix52]

@sineadocl - be weary of guys who just want you for sex. Use your instincts. When you find a guy who likes spending time with you, and isn't pushing his way into your pants, he may be boyfriend material. Optimistic types who work hard to advance themselves, but also put the time and effort into making you a happy girl who can trust him. Also, he'll put up with your sh*t.

[Phoenix52]

@hayfa - hmmm ... that's a ... good point. I like your thought on it. But the times I've heard of where the guy wants commitment from the girl = girl denies him. So I'm led to believe that whoever wants it more will most likely get burned. But I think these guys just didn't prove themselves to be quality boyfriends.

[Green_Clarinet_Man]

Just leave a little happy birthday message Nothing more. And if she replies, just leave it at that. Even if you believe she's interested if she replies, she isn't. Just move on.

Always remember girls want what the can't have. So maybe it's time you started meeting new girls. It might open her eyes up to you again.

[deadman]

I've met three other girls and I have another date in two weeks time...but she is always on my mind. It sucks, because I want to move on.

[Green_Clarinet_Man]

those girls just didn't connect with you. Keep at the dating game, you'll find someone better

[AndiArthropod]

If you are friends with her then yes. Otherwise don't. Like if you are distant from her it would be weird for you to say anything to her.

[CrystalMinds]

Be the bigger person and wish her a happy birthday ;)

Not a message of what you wish for her, just "happy birthday :) " with an "x" or something.

[gentle_giant]

Nope. Leave it alone. She might think she got you wrapped around her finger

[hunterfan]

tell her happy birthday, It will not hurt to try and hold a friend ship. my x and myself are having a healthy relationship.

[AmberChick]

I was in a similar situation with my ex and I didn't call him on his birthday and for me it felt like the right decision.

[147703]

I think you should say happy birthday, even if it stings a little, its a nice thing to do. :) stay strong. xx

[kurozogo]

If you feel like doing it , then just do it .. Its not that big of a deal .

[decentusername]

just do it.