My ex moved on and then he came back...

[Allychick]

My ex and I brokeup last decemeber. We didn't talk all summer and I had finally moved on and was actually happy again. But now he is back in my life.. do I let him back in or still keep my distance?

[NotJustAnotherGuy]

My ex and I had a pretty nasty break up. Caught her cheating with two other guys. It's been 9 months and I get sick when I see her anywhere, Facebook, on the streets, etc.. I don't think it'll ever change. And I don't know if it'd be better if we became friends, but I do know if I tried it would be very painful.

Love is a really strong force, and doesn't go away easily. Even when you're happy and have distanced yourself, a quick passing thought about him/her can really hurt.

I can't say for certain what would work for you, because I don't know how mixed your feelings are. When I think of my ex, I feel hatred and hope (hard to describe, but a wishful thinking that everything will fix somehow). And I know, I could win her favor again, but I'd just want to hurt her back. So for me, that hatred towards her ruining our relationship, is a strong indicator that I should never let her back into my life. Because I know how destructive love can be, and though revenge feels justified sometimes, I don't want to be the monster she was to me.

You gotta find out what your mixed feelings are made of. Maybe you carry some need of vengeance, like I do, and it'd be best to stay away. Or maybe you just hurt, and he makes you vulnerable. That's another reason to stay away-- you don't want to fall back into the same thing. Or maybe, your only problem is forgiving and being friends would help you forget. You gotta ask those kinda questions to yourself. Play out all the different scenarios in your head, and see how you'd react. Then choose what's best for you.

Hope you figure it out. Any questions for me, just ask. Best of wishes.

[Allychick]

Thanks :) you're answer actually gets me really thinking.

[NotJustAnotherGuy]

No problem.(: Just trying to help out the best I can. You can message me if you ever just wanna chat. After all, isn't that what nerdy guys like me are for >:)

[themastaplan]

you should let him back in your life if he was a big part of your life...

but you should also keep your distance...emotionally...

there is a reason after a break up it requires SPACE AND TIME...

if you can see him hooking up with other people, or even think about it and not be sick or feel sick then you should be OK being his friend...but until then or until you find someone who treats you better then I'd say keep your distance and conversation to a minimum.

[Allychick]

great advice. Thank you! :)

[themastaplan]

yorue welcome! if you do end up talking just remeber feelings will most likely resurface, so be careful...make sure you both are on the same page - no one says you two can't hook up and see other people again, but you just both need to be on the same page - trust me I know we all have our "needs" and I've been through a similiar situation with my ex,...matter of fact I'm going through it now lol - we are both on teh same page so its all good

[kassandramaracle]

i had the same thing happen to me I had been dating this guy for 2 years and had never been in love before. naturally I was devistated when he left me for someone els I was miserble for monthes I had eye infection from crying . his girlfriend moved away and I ended up back with him witch was stupid on my behalf knowing I was a second choice . sometime past and he ended up becoming abusive and I ended up really hurt the one day . I have sence moved on relizing he was a d*** and I never should have went back all the hurt was not worth it and he most certainly in the end was not . if you are implying that you have moved on with someone els and you are happy he is probably just jelious . if you are truly happy I wouldent bother going back . :)

[highp]

Depends on the context of why you broke up, who did the breaking up

[superme000001]

jeez.. This sounds just like me Right Now.

I've chosen to not let her back into my life.

I'm significantly less stressed out when I Don't see her now.

But I've no idea if it's the right thing to do...

(Sorry that didn't answer anything- just a very similar situation to me)

[Allychick]

its so confusing! I wish you luck though!

[WeaponZero]

The question is are you able to handle having him as just a friend? Nobody can answer that but you.