Drunk cheating - do you tell your boyfriend / girlfriend?

Question

Lets say you have an SO for about a year - and you go out one night, get drunk and have sex with someone else.Do you tell your boyfriend or girlfriend?Does it count as cheating if your drunk?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If you are serious about the relationship, you must be honest with each other, even when it hurts. I was in the shoes of a guy who was told by his girlfriend that she had sex with someone else, and this was after nearly two years of exclusive dating in college.

As to whether to call it cheating and whether to stay together, the devil is in the details. Initially I tossed her out of my car and called her a slut when she told me. But after giving it some thought, I decided I cared enough about her to find out more since it did not sound like her.

When we talked again a week or two later, she described a scenario that amounted to acquaintance rape. I decided to believe her story since I believed I knew her very well. She and I had decided previously to not have intercourse since it was against our shared beliefs. And I knew she had never done anything like that before. Because I believe I knew her character, I felt at peace with deciding to forgive and move forward. If she would have had a more questionable character, perhaps I would have decided she was a slut and moved on with someone else.

In any case, in our situation, we were together as boyfriend and girlfriend for a while longer before becoming engaged and being engaged for 3 years. At this point we have now been married for many years and have several children... who all look like me :-)

So, in my case I am confident that she has been faithful all these years since that happened, and that I definitely made the right choice. , once again, I recognize that every situation is different.

gonyr · Accepted Answer

for the update:

if you don't tell, there are two sides. either you care a lot and don't want to hurt the person, or you really don't care and won't suffer consequences for your actions meaning you may do it again

if you do tell, you may either want to be honest because you know the person deserves that, or you may be hoping they end it and cheating was your way out

each circumstance is different

alchemy12 · Accepted Answer

Yes, it's still cheating because you chose to get physical with someone else, regardless of the alcohol.

Yes, I would tell my partner even though it would suck because I try to be honest with people and would expect the same from him. He has the right to know. Period.

Oh, and people who say they don't tell because they want to spare someone's feelings are not being honest with themselves. They just don't want to face the consequences of losing the partner or stomaching the guilt.

Leelee47 · Accepted Answer

Jesus guys. How many times does she hav to explain she's just curious.

As to answer your id like to think id be able to confess. I wouldn't deal with thay guilt well. Bit you nvr kno till ir in that situation

rachiee · Accepted Answer

Of course its still cheating. If you get arrested for being drunk in public should that be erased from your record because you were drunk? No. Its the same concept. Alcohol doesn't give you a pass.

gonyr · Answer

if you think you should

if they find out somewhere else though, it'll be really bad.

if you want to take that risk then go for it. it'll hurt them a lot less if your honest about it, won't hurt them at all if they don't know

also consider if that was your action, is the relationship really what you want? it still can be. may not be

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't do that so it's impossible to answer the question honestly... Yes it's cheating... Yes I would tell them because the relationship would be over if I was looking for someone else.

Anonymous · Answer

of course it does, you put the alcohol in your

cup, you swallowed the alcohol in your cup.

You decided to act a little dirtier because you

drank a little bit. Your responsible for your actions

the alcohol is not a reason

billnye · Answer

intentional or not...its cheating.  depending on your relationship, if you and your partner are the type of people who need to be open and honest to be able to trust each other, for better or for worse, you have to tell them.

Anonymous · Answer

I say it's cheating, even if you're drunk. And yes, ideally I say you tell your partner.

But that's on the condition that your partner can handle a mistake, without falling to bits. Not everyone can.

If they can't, then a lie is preferable.

Arwens-Fire · Answer

Yes I would tell my partner if it happened and it's still cheatng if the individual is inebriated.The guilt would get to me.But then again,i would never do that.

dIO_oIb · Answer

I was drunk once and had a one night stand. That one night stand lead to a pregnancy, but my baby doesn't count 'cause I was drunk. Golden Rule: If it happens when you're drunk it never happened and doesn't exist.

Pebyron · Answer

Only if becomes repeat behavior The guilt alone is enough punishment No need worrying your partner over a mistake

Anonymous · Answer

Yes it's cheating. Yes I would have to tell him, and I would want him to tell me. If it were me I would probably forgive him and I would hope that he forgave me too.

Anonymous · Answer

oh god .. obviously its still cheating, is that actually a question? You simply dump them and have drunken hooks forever because relationships clearly aren't working.

CasaNorba · Answer

hell no! and yes it does. cause your still responsible for your actions.

Anonymous · Answer

I've done it and live with the guilt I told my bf when we got together if he did something like this I would Not want to know

doctorwhofan23 · Answer

Um it is obviously cheating and if you don't think  it is... that is just wrong.

CuriousEddie · Answer

Hmmm... was the other person drunk, too?

Babyfffvjjv · Answer

I think it's still cheating regardless

Anonymous · Answer

Im not even gonna repost to this

Drunk cheating - do you tell your boyfriend / girlfriend?

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