Promise me you will never leave me?

[riley24]

(This is going to be a looong read, please bear with me! lol)

Ok, so that"s the random text I got from my boyfriend last night via text while talking about a love scene he was watching in Spiderman.

I thought he was joking at first, so I treated it that way. A few minutes later he asked "so your not going to promise me?" And I'm like wtf?

We've been together for a year. Briefly drifted apart for a bit and got back together. Truth is I haven't really felt the same about him since. I know it sounds rotten of me, but I don't know if I'm actually in love with him OR if I see him more as a companion with benefits. I've honestly been weighing the good and bad of the relationship and I am currently considering breaking up as an option due to his neediness. SO the truth is I can't even promise him I'll never leave him, because I don't know if I will or not.

My boyfriend is VERY emotional, a lot more emotional than me. He's also mentioned before that he would be suicidal if he didn't have me. I didn't want him to freak out on me if I said "no I can't promise you that" I also didn't want to say, "I promise to never leave you" So me being the wimp I am said "I promise I'll always be with you" which I figured TECHNICALLY could mean in his heart or something...I know that was stupid, I didn't know what else to say, but I feel bad about it because I know if I EVER do break up to him he is going to cry and say "BUT YOU PROMISED ME!"

So guys what do you think?

Should I tell him next time I see him that I don't really know if I will always be with him? Should I tell him I've been thinking about breaking up? SHOULD I just break up since I've been thinking about it? Plus IF I do tell him all of these things, how should I go about it so that he doesn't cry or become suicidal? Should I ease into this talk? Please help, any suggestions are welcome

[Anonymous]

I hate to say this, but I think you should break up with him. Looking back on a former version of myself, I have to say this is the best long term option for him and probably you as well. Tell him that you don't feel like you two are at the same place in your lives and you don't think it's working out. You can't remain friends with him. I would also suggest telling him that his neediness was pushing you away, so that way when he does (and I'm betting he definitely will) come back texting you trying to keep you in his life you can go, "this is what I mean, you're making me the center of your life, putting pressure on me and it's unfair" or something of that nature.

He needs to get to that growing up stage of his life where he becomes independent and lives his life for himself, instead of relying on somebody else for happiness. Once he finds that, maybe you two can reconnect, but for now I'm fairly certain this will be a failed/unhealthy relationship one way or another.

Like I said, I hate to say it because you're going to cause him a lot of pain and it's going to be very unpleasant for the both of you in general, but this is one of those cases where it's for the best long term. If he threatens suicide, get in touch with his family or loved ones so that they can deal with this. Under no circumstance can you cave and come to his assistance directly. Reach out to people that care about him and let them handle it, that's what his support is there for. You need to remove yourself from his life so he can move on and grow into an emotionally functional/stable individual.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for the best answer. Good luck with everything.

[riley24]

Thank you so much

[Koldhearted]

First find out what YOU want. If you don't want him, then yes tell him. Don't rush it, because you may discover you want him back, and once you scar him it's likely he won't give you another chance to scar him.

[riley24]

Thanks, I wan't to do what's best for me, but spare him as much pain as possible

[Jaybabe77]

You don't really seem that emotionally attached and as if you've already made your decision whether to break up with him or not. Also, your s/o threatening suicide is very unhealthy.

[riley24]

Yeah it is, I would say its just a ploy to keep me, but I'm not sure

[Claretica]

Yuck.

Neediness is a massive turnoff.

I'd get out of there asap.

He's being a child.

[riley24]

Yeah...the needy thing was kinda cute/sweet at first. I guess It's my own fault for letting it get this far.

[Claretica]

I was actually in a similar position that you were in the past.

She said that same line to me, 'Promise we'll be together forever'. All of a sudden it was like a veil was pulled off from in front on my eyes.

I instantly found her really unattractive.