Will my girlfriend cheat when she goes away to college?

[Clewles]

My girlfriend is going away to college this semester, she's going to be about an hour from me. She always says she won't cheat, and that she won't be drinking. The thing is I met her at a party and she was trashed and throwing herself at every guy, kissing them and taking her clothes off, and I saw that happen and its burned into my mind. She said she does that only when she's drunk which is supposed to make me feel better, but it doesn't. She has also lied to me quite a few times but she seems so sincere when she tells me she'll never do anything to hurt me again (cheat). I have dated her for about four months now and I've fallen hard for her and its scaring me. I've also been cheated on a few times before this and for that reason I haven't dated seriously in about 3 years. She is beautiful and every guy wants her, she has always been miss popular. Do you think she'll cheat? Should I be stressed about this? Can she have the self control to not drink? Just some advice would be nice because I have so much stress in my life right now. As I'm going through college trying to do my best in a very hard program.

[TheDigitalSaint]

You are asking us to predict what is entirely in her hands.

Before she leaves for college I recommend talking to her directly and telling her about the deep hurt that was caused by the other girls cheating. Tell her that you are a guy who values loyalty and honesty above all else. Tell her you'll always be there for her, but that she needs to decide if she wants to a girl who has the affection of a caring and loving man, or the fleeting pleasure of a bunch of guys who find her attractive but that don't treat her with respect. Tell her you have strong feelings for her and that you trust her.

The ball will then be in her court.

If the girl has a decent heart and takes everything you say with a level head, she'll know that running off with other men would be throwing away a valuable treasure, that is you, a loyal man.

After you've completed this talk, do NOT under any circumstances bring up her potential infidelity. She may be genuinely trying to change. If you bring it up, you are not giving her the chance to improve, plus you give the impression that you have a hard time trusting her (which is natural, I don't fault you).

Stay in contact with her. Write her a hand-written letter now and then. Make sure that she knows that you think she's something special. All want to feel special. If she has her head half screwed on straight, she'll know that you are a keeper. Remember, no doubting her unless you have hard evidence that she is going off the path. Doubt and second guessing can kill a relationship and often does!

Have faith and carry out your end of the bargain my friend.

The best of luck to you both!

[Clewles]

Well to the first answer, The point is, is that I don't want to keep her on lockdown, I want her to have fun. But I am not into women who party and such, I've gotten over that phase in my life. I just wanted to know that if she says she will not party in college should I have faith in that promise? Because like you said it will be a new expierence for her. And if not then I do need to let her go, because it will be bad for the both of us. Also I am not some crazy boyfriend that can't let go,thanks

[TheDigitalSaint]

It sounds like she's the type that likes to party a lot. That will be hard to change. In the end it is really up to her. Just try to keep in touch, and as suggested by the other answerer, keep yourself busy (sounds like it shouldn't be too hard) such that the rest of your life carries on should your relationship head south.

[Chan_Aku_Deadman]

Well... really I know this is late and all but really it depends on you not her nor anyone else do you love her enough so she can have fun and not do anything with guys you don't know or do you want to be a over protective boyfriend or how we are living in (bea) really it up to you if you lover her that much even TRUST her then you should relax but if you can't I say work it out so both of you can be happy or just ended... really I know how you feel about this even if it is old question you love her and don't want her to do something that will hurt you for life like me & my Girlfriend we both try to work it out but I get over protective about the boy she hangs out which makes me pretty upset So I say be open about it and tell her how you feel if she thinks your joking about it or if she just lies about how you feel then just leave her and wait for the right one in your life. That what I think I do if it ever happen to me

[Anonymous]

It is clear that you do not trust her and if you carry on like this you will loose her and will ruin the relationship. Just becasue she is going to college and is going to be having fun and meeting new people does not mean that she will cheat. She said that she will not do it and you need to learn to trust her and belive her on this. If you don't then the realtionship will not work, trust is very important.

Also when she gets to college you need to be careful on how you behave with her, don't call her and message her all the time or every day, don't ask lots of questions, don't get upset or annoyed if she does not respond. This is a new experience for her and something you need to let her enjoy. This will be your opportunity to show her how much she means to you and how much you can trust her.

You are still both very young and have plenty of time ahead of you. While she is at college you can enjoy your self too. Do things with your friends, keep your self busy, have fun and take this opportunity to do the things that you want.

Sorry to say its either learn to trust her and let her ejoy the new experience or the relationship is finished.

[YoungTaeSkii]

But what if he was a girl talking about her boyfriend in college same scenario just vise versa, Because woman never trust men even when we're 100% honest about everything should they not be concerned about losing us for accusing us? My girlfriend tells me every night how she's going to go do homework and read but yet text me back every morning @4:00 talking about how she fell asleep, I think she's cheating I think she's really on the phone with someone else or riding around smoking with her so called Bestfriend who is also a boy and he also attendeds her college he took her to get food a few nights ago but she swears it wasn't a date I say she's cheating & im about ready to call out on this relationship but I mean would you tell me if I'm overthinking or what