Why is my ex acting like this? He is totally acting out of character!

[mandaroni]

My ex boyfriend and I broke up about 2 months ago after a long serious committed relationship of 8 1/2 years. He is the one that ended it. He says that he needs to stand on his own 2 feet and be independent. Since our break up I have been working on myself and changing a lot of things that I realized made me a bad person. I still find myself back sliding from time to time but overall I have made some major improvements. I probably do bother my ex more than I should by texting him but I am working on that. My ex on the other hand seems to be doing a lot of things that are completely out of character for him. He use to be this responsible guy who was very mindful of others feelings but lately he seems to have changed a lot. He moved in with his friends who are a couple and are getting ready to welcome their first child, and he isn't a fan of children per say. They live in a small 2 bedroom apartment which to me seems too small for 3 adults and a baby but he seems to think all will be well. He use to work a ton of overtime which he now works none. He use to never drink and he seems to drink at least a few times a week if not more now. He had longer hair and wore it very well and the other day he went and cut it all off. He has been spending money on clothes and shoes which is weird as well. He is always broke and actually borrowed money from a friend of ours and has yet to pay her back (we have never borrowed money from anyone when we were together so this really blows my mind.) He hasn't paid a bill that was sent to collections and he was so on top of his credit when we were together. He hasn't had much contact with his grandma whom used to live with us and I find that strange. He seems to be so wrapped up in his roommates that he is neglecting other friends. At the beginning of the break up and up until about 2 or so weeks ago he would answer any text I sent him and now he is basically ignoring me. I just don't get it. He is not seeing anyone else that I know of and with our circle of friends I would think that I would. He sits at home with his roommate and drinks, plays video games, and watches tv all the time. He has gone to the bars, gambling boat, and golfing but he hasn't done much else but work and go home so I am confused by all of this. If he left to stand on his own 2 feet and be independent he sure as hell isn't doing a very good job at it and I've yet to see anything positive come from this except that I am making some well needed changes. Just to clarify I would do about anything to have him back and right now it just doesn't seem to be happening and I am wondering if he is going through something that I am not aware of and that is why his behavior is so strange or if this is just a normal "guy" reaction to a break up. I just really want some insight as to why he may be acting so weird. Thank you.

[Reeses-pieces777]

he's just trying to heal from this relationship that he had with you.
I just pretty much didn't go out with a single guy after one of my ex-bf and I didn't work out. I've been refusing dates and my friends try to set me up with guys all the time, but I just take the time to work on myself, and learn, and heal.
Unless he goes out of his way to contact you or e mails you something that may subtly pertain to getting back together, I wouldn't read it as anything but just him trying to heal, l& live his life.

[rockmom]

hmm. maybe what he really wants is a single life. I know you care a lot about him but it seems to me that you know way too much about someone who is your ex. he just got out of a long-term relationship and he seems to be enjoying the single life.