My ex girlfriend is giving me extremely mixed signals?

[ged89]

Okay my ex girlfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago saying that she didn't love me anymore and that she didn't want to be in a committed relationship. She wanted to stay friends and I said OK under the condition that neither one of us says anything about new relationships/sex for a awhile. We exchanged our stuff a few days later. Then she started texting me to see how I was doing acting as if nothing happened. Then she told me how she was going on a date with her supposedly platonic friend. Upon hearing this I told her have a nice life and good bye. She sais she lied about dating her "friend"I then ignored her for almost a week. She texted that she didn't like the idea of not talking to me or me being with someone else. Then she tried to come by my house asking if we could please talk. I texted her a couple days later and she immediately called me. She said that she lied about not dating that guy and I asked why and she said she didn't know. She made references and then outright stated that she has begun a sexual relationship with the former platonic friend. She started reminiscing about our sexual encounters saying that she wanted me to go over. I told her no that I wasn't going to do that and that I didn't want to see or hear from her for a while. My question is this what exactly is her intentions? Just to deliberately hurt, make me feel jealous, use me for sex, or try and get back together. And post script is a girl that is playing these kind of games worth it?

Thanks

[DanteSparda]

Bro,that's an ancient trick to play with your head.

Like I said on many answers here,you have a girl that is emotionally destroying you and is manipulative..

just say I don't really care and move on.. trust me on this… its not worth trying to be with them here because even though you might “win” you will definitely get messed up harder by the “loss”

also.. it is important to have a carefree abundance attitude..some girls are really retarded and its a really bad idea to put your eggs into one basket (one girl) because when she flakes/cheats/lies/whatever you will be crushed/pissed/etc.

the smart way is to have multiple options to avoid pain

a man is only as faithful as his options…

seriously.. though

if you are in a relationship and have absolutely no prospects (girls texting you..flirting … wanting to hook up.. etc).. its just a matter of time.. if you have no other options you’re gonna get messed up one day…

thats the problem with relationships

people become content.. get fat.. get lazy… just let themselves slide.. ignorance is bliss..until they realize there is no escape from the sexual market

… fast forward a bit

when the forces of nature (2 year expiration window) end your relationship – its over..

just like that.. everything you’ve poured your heart and soul into gets destroyed..

you lose a part of yourself in every failed relationship– remember that

thats why the best situation is to have multiple options and to BAIL (and never look back) at the first sign of trouble.

however,

you alone define what is too much trouble..

maybe it is

1. girl hanging out with other guys

2. girl cheating on you

3. girl not having sex often enough

4. girl lying to you

5. whatever

there is a line we all have to draw (and the further you go the less self respect is left and the more needy,desperate you are.. basically its up to you how much disrespect from her you’re willing to tolerate)

just remember.. there comes a point when there are more important things than notches/lays/”value”. .. I know but there are some lines not worth crossing … namely:

1. girls that have dated or are dating your close friends (unless you don’t mind the friendship ending)

2. exes (self-explanatory)

3. girls with husbands/family (yeah I know its tough.. but I don’t tread this dangerous territory – boyfriends are bad enough)

4. girls with mental issues (bipolar, ADHD, extreme druggies, etc )

learning how to deal with them is just like everything else in life.. its meant to be fun.. its meant to help you understand and succeed.. but once the stakes get too high you really should say FO and bail.

this way you never put yourself at risk; because you don’t gamble with what you can’t afford to lose.. and you can’t afford to lose yourself.

trust me on that,

good luck Bro :)

[ged89]

You're totally right man. I'm not going to put myself in that position again. Thanks

[highondrugs]

Well you're not gonna like this but.. she pushed your boundaries (the rule you set) and lied to you then went back and forth about it. I wouldn't tollerate this as long as you did and would shut the door on her for good.

[Hannah591]

Sounds like she's playing you right now. She doesn't even make sense though. If she didn't love you, then she wouldn't care if you went with someone else. But like Zuzuka said, it's a case of wanting what she now can't have. If you paid attention to her again and begged for her back, she'd show no interest, I bet you. She sounds like a control freak.

I think she's lying about that friend too. She lied in the beginning to make you jealous, when it didn't work, she said she lied about it completely, almost so she could change tactics. Because you blanked her again, she's kind of punishing you with the idea that she's sleeping with someone already but I don't think this is true. She ignored the only rules you gave her and combined the two to get a reaction from you. It's not working so her games are all over the place.

She sounds quite immature tbh and not worth your time. I'd recommend not talking to her at all. Ignore her completely and you'll be able to move on quicker and easier. You should probably tell her that what she's been saying has made her look immature and you don't want anything to do with her anymore, before you stop all contact. She's not worth your time, seriously. I don't see any point in playing games with someone they claim they don't love.

[ged89]

Thank you Hannah. That's exactly what I'll do. Confront her about her behavior and tell her I don't want anything to do with her anymore. I don't need this kind of drama & BS in my life. Its way too emotionally draining.

[Hannah591]

Good, I'm glad you're strong enough to take control of the situation! Thanks for BA too :)

[Ingrid422]

I think it's sad that you have to deal with such an immature, classless dater. I think that there was no spice in your relationship anymore and she wanted out because of that. Now she regrets it and tries to make you jealous and to get as much attention from you as she can. It's a power struggle. She wants to feel desired again and as someone else said, she hopes that you'll run back into her arms. Don't fall for this. It's games, it's silly. It's a true sign of immaturity and I think you guys don't have much worth salvaging anymore. It's not a clean breakup, so please make it clean for you own sake. No contact, ignore her if necessary. Right now, you're still giving her attention and it's fueling her. Stop the fuel, be a man and don't put up with her. She doesn't deserve and you need to heal properly, so think about yourself first.

[Zuzuka]

Yeah, Its all head games pretty much. I bet that she broke up with you just to get a reaction, and when it wasn't to her liking she had mentioned the sexual relationship to get under your skin. The fact that you don't want her anymore makes her want you. She is use to you wanting her, but now that its out of reach she is crawling back to you.

Also what could of happened was she could had been talking to this "friend" and was about to get something going with him, but it might have failed. So since it didn't go as planned she is back. She isn't worth it, and needs to be dropped like a bad habit.

[lumos]

She wouldn't have broken up with you in the first place if she really wanted to be with you. Chances are that she just likes the attention, and wants a reaction from you. She wants you to crawl to her on your knees and beg for her to be your girlfriend again. It's an ego thing, she just wants to see if she left a mark on you or not. Keep ignoring her, and try to cut all contact with her if you can. Her playing games like that with you is not OK, and not something you should have to put up with.

[ged89]

you are right, games like that are not OK. I'm going to completely ignore and cut off all contact. I'm just not putting up with all this nonsense

[stupidstupidme]

Answer: no. Runaway, fast.

She has feelings for you, but, as she SAID, she doesn't want a commitment. But she also doesn't want to be alone and left to fend for herself in the dating scene. Thus, she immediate sought out her platonic friend. However, she craves the familiarity, emotional bond, and probably greater attention you gave her and thus she is still bugging you. Someone this immature isn't worth it.

[Blondie195]

Yes she just wanted you to be jealous. I would just drop her out of your life. Don't let her hurt you, I mean she got rid of you in the first place. And now from what it sounds like she is trying to get you back. I think she just got bored of the relationship and was trying to stir things up again. Which should not have been the case.

[Ladybffy]

she wanted ot make you jealous and have you come crawling back to her. she just wants atttentions I'd ignore her. I just started talkign to my ex and we have not asked any questions about dates or anythign liek that. check out my questions and see. good luck remember always put your self first

[Anonymous]

I say it's games, but only you can really know for sure. Is she someone who would try to make you jealous while you were dating? It's hard to move on sometimes but the only way to do so is to cut off contact until your ready (and her games no longer bother you because you are truly over her), and/or for good!

[523206720]

Yes I think she is trying to prove to herself that you still care about her but she is doing it the wrong way. Stay away from her for good.

[kierras]

Sounds like you're in the same boat as me...lol. I don't think girls use guys for sex. Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. You are familiar and reliable. Giver her a taste ofher own medicine. Do you really care for her?

[ged89]

yes I really do care for her.

[ged89]

What do you mean by giving her a taste of her own medicine?

[kierras]

I mean try and make her jelous. Let her know you are dating someone and be wishy-washy like she is. I've also heard ignoring someone you really like... Good luck. I'm having very similar issues.

[ged89]

gotcha thanks and good luck

[casia]

Games. Do yourself a favor and move on.