Polls: Break Up & Divorce

This may not make any sense. But I’m in a relationship I know I shouldn’t be in right now. Im really emotionally tied to this woman named Eve though I know we’re not the right match. I feel like breaking up with this woman is right thing to do. But I go crazy at the thought of Eve with another guy. Does this mean I’m crazy? I dunno how I’m going to handle this when the day comes. Eve is not 100% bad, and there’s lots of good things she does. But it’s a toxic relationship.

Here are the reasons can’t stay with her:

1.
I’m not 100% sure she’s faithful:

Eve has too many male friends. She’s thirsty for attention from other guys and pretends she’s not. Eve also has a history of sleeping around, having one night stands, and has been pregnant and aborted by 2 different men. Now she’s always fronting and barely wants sex with me.

2.
She’s very judgmental and ignorant:

She makes fun of people who are poor, living cheap looking apartment’s and houses. Even laughs at people who wear cheap clothes from Walmart. She always points out bad character traits I’m me and my family. But doesn’t like it when I do the same back to her.

3.
She likes giving attitude:

She always has issues with somebody. For example, she’s always yelling and cursing at people on the road when she drives. She used yell at me frequently until I started yelling back her. She still does it once in awhile, but not as often.

Giving all I said. I still can’t let her go and I don’t know why!

I am really struggling right now with severe depression. I had to go to the hospital last night.

I am 27 and never had a real girlfriend, although I had an online thing with this girl back in 2020. She was perfect at the time. She never had a male friend before me, never dated, never been kissed, and was still a virgin. It completely tore me apart when she rejected me when we met in person the first time.

I ended up having a ton of alcohol last night and almost blacked out. I ended up calling her mom and she was frantically trying to help me over the phone.

The thing is, I am so overcomed by disappointment over that girl. That new guy she is with gets to be her first everything. They are getting married this year. Who knows, they may have decided to get married sooner and are already married. I still talk to her mom, but I am afraid to learn any new details.

I'd say at least half if not 75% were my fault. I have my moments but the inner asshole/ptsd is just waiting around the corner to fuck things up. What about you?

By low self-esteem, I'm referring to someone who thinks very lowly of themselves, feeling inadequate and inferior to be someone's lover. These feelings can surface from issues such as making too low of an income, to feeling too emotionally immature to handle conflict, to making irresponsible decisions to escape conflict like heavy drinking and addiction problems. Have you ever felt this way when you were in a relationship?