Should I walk away or keep trying?

[Anonymous]

Been dating this guy for almost a year, we’re not official and he says he’s not ready yet bc he’s going through a lot of stress in life (about to lose his job, his dad is slowly dying, might have to sell his house to pay the hospital bills, plus he just broke up with his ex a couple of days before we met but we didn’t start dating until a couple of months later).

He’s feeling depressed understandably and he’s pushing me away but at the same time he doesn’t want me to leave. I’m just sitting here confused af on what exactly he wants from me…

He told me he wants to work towards an actual relationship with me but wants to take it slow bc he’s not at his best rn. But not sure if I can get over the things he did and said to me while he was stressed out, he said some hurtful things bc he panicked when I told him we should just be friends

I do love him, he also seems like he loves me (he puts in a lot of effort to show it) but I don't know if I should just walk away for now and just be friends or stick by him and ride the wave out?

Walk away

Nah, keep trying

Other

[LEYvh]

This is one of those situations where you have to treat yourself with love and protect yourself from sure pain. I understand that you can see yourself with that person, but don’t allow for yourself to be treated in a way less than what you deserve as a human being. Giving yourself (and him) time and space to reevaluate where you’re at and what you want can clarify what kind of relationship is best for you both. I would rather end up with a friend or without them than with someone that will resent me or vise versa.

[LEYvh]

Whoops- vice versa for feeling I pressured them.
Also, sometimes you have to make the wisest decision for both your sake and another’s. If you’re not in the same general mindset with what you want, it will strain your relationship further. It’s one thing to be understanding and compassionate and another to allow unkindness for someone who is supposed to bring joy into your life. Time apart can allow you both to grow and perhaps, do it in a way that enables a healthy relationship in the future. Forcing things doesn’t make them grow well. That being said, you’re in the situation, so try to do what you find is best for you both. I hope you’re able to resolve this.(:

[Asker]

Thank you so much for this, it’s definitely hard to walk away bc I do care about him so much but I need to also love myself so thanks for this ❤️

[Anonymous]

Sounds like an awful situation.. to me the best solution seems to be taking a step back and stay friends. I get that you still want to be there for him in some way, and that is exactly also what friends are for. Maybe when he is in another place in his life with less stress factors he can give you what you deserve in a relationship.

[Asker]

Exactly, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell him but he’s too scared that I would just end up leaving him for good. He’s going to therapy though finally so I hope it’ll be good for him

[Anonymous]

I say walk away and look for other suitors.

[Asker]

But I don’t want to look for another suitor I want him :(

[Opinion Owner]

Thats how it goes sometimes.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess I’ll have to take the L and move on… thanks for the advice!

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome.