Questions: Break Up & Divorce

Regardless of how the relationship ended, would you want to know? What if you were in a new committed relationship? How would hearing about your ex being hurt/dead impact you?

So. We broke up and he knew I was pretty heartbroken. When he said about his friend’s wedding I asked if he was taking the new girl he’s seeing to that wedding with him. He said ‘No, should I?’

I just thought - are you having a laugh? We’ve just broken up and you’re asking a question as stupid as that. I never said that but, the audacity.

Why on earth, after a year long relationship that we both hoped would last, is he asking me something like that? Knowing fine well how hurt I am.

Let's call my ex boyfriend for LUKE

Yesterday me and my best friend were texting about work and she suddenly texten this👇, but I tried to play it cool=

She= By the way, would it be okay if I come in contacted with Luke again? I don't want to do it behind your back, that's why I'm asking☺️

Me= As friends or a date?

She= Friends

Me= I was going to say that no matter what, you don't need my permission for that. Sure it's uncomfortable, to be honest, but I would never stop someone from being friends or anything with someone.

She= No, I know that! But I still wanted to ask you because I didn't want to go behind your back, you're still my best friend❤️

Me= That's my honest answer. Well thought out, that's my honest answer anyway.

She= And if you had said no, I wouldn't have contacted him

Me= Cute, but it's okay

She= Okay, good to know❤️
Me= yes

Story = so in 2023 me and this guy Luke dated from May- August, but broke up because he says he had issues with his family and work and is so stressed and can't jungle everything rn or give me the kind of man I want rn. So I thought that I should not be a burden and just accept his excuse and break up. During the first week we were dating , I had asked my friends if they knew him. my best friend sayd she knows him and that they had a small crush on each other when they were teenagers and he had kissed her on the cheek and run. I felt uncomfortable and even tho I had began to like Luke a lot, I was ready to end it, but then my best friend sayd that I don't need to end it because they don't have feelings for each other and that I should not let it come between me and love. So I trusted her words, but still felt uncomfortable and wanted to hear Luke's side of the story too if he likes her or if they were together of something long ago. He sayd no and a assured me that it was just a small crush back then and he doesn't feel anything for her. So I trusted him and felt less ucomfortable.

God I was blind...

For context, this man was married to his wife for like a good 12 years. A few years back he was in a car accident due to reckless driving that has ended up in almost complete paralysis of his legs. Last year she eventually left him, and they share four kids under the age of 9.

He said things were rocky prior to the breakup with her saying some particularly nasty things and blaming him for his accident etc. They started to argue a lot and the relationship collapsed. She’s now very bitter toward him, however, I think she’s been hoping to get back together and fix things with him, but he is refusing her advances and saying he’s moved on.

He’s keen to meet up with me. However, I know exactly how his ex feels in her position. I know exactly how it feels for the person you love to move on with someone new when all you want to do is fight for your relationship. I understand she may have left the relationship, but they share 4 kids together. And maybe she is having some regrets. I don’t want to be that woman that swoops in and gets in the middle of that sort of thing, especially where young children are involved. What are your thoughts?