Going out to lunch with other guys?

[Anonymous]

Alright, what do you guys think? I'm dating an AWESOME guy (eric). But I have really good guy friends that i've known for years and like they know i'm dating him, they ask about him and stuff but they ask me out to lunch or coffee just to catch up.

I ask eric and he's always like "why are you asking, I don't mind, just let me know, but you don't have to ask my permission"

In my mind, its respectful to ask for permission... But he always says that. What do you guys think? would you rather your girlfriend say "is it alright if I go out to lunch with _____ (another guy, you don't know)?" or "I'm going out to lunch _____."

[Anonymous]

I don't think in this case, it is necessary to ask, although I'm sure there would be some circumstances where that would be the appropriate route to take. These are guys you've known for years, they know about your BF, your BF knows about them, they've probably all met, and these friends respect your relationship, right? You're A OK then. Now, if this was something that DID make your BF uncomfortable, then it would be respectful and caring of you to consider his feelings when going about these things. If that were the case I would say invite the BF with when you do things with the guys. My guy doesn't show me his super sensitive jealous side (although I know it exists, even if it is small), so whenever I make plans with my guy friend, I invite my boyfriend. He usually declines, but at least he has the comfort of knowing that I invited him, had I been up to something shady, I certainly would not have invited him. Sounds like you have a trusting boyfriend and that's great.

[Asker]

the guy friends that are asking me out to catch up are like my brothers, they are protective of me. See my brother is in the military and when he left they kinda stepped up to be that "brother figure" while he is gone. I always invite my bf but he always says "no, you need your time with your friends" so idk, he's not really the jealous type and I know he understands, but like I always want to make sure its alright with him, ya know? To me asking is just respectful.

[Opinion Owner]

I think inviting him along is a much more laid back way to go about it, instead of asking permission. He's your partner, not your father.

[Asker]

Point taken. =) thank you!

[Anonymous]

I don't think its right to go to lunch alone with other guys but if your bf is ok with it then its fine. its good for you to ask tho it shows respect and hopefully he would do the same for you

[ixi10]

It's becUse you're hanging out with a group of guys and not one guy. I think if it was a one to one situation he would care a little more

[Fenderstrat]

I am totally okay with my girlfriend doing that with friends. If it was just a random guy I might have a bit of a problem with that but I understand that it is hard to stay in contact with friends and sometimes you have to schedule times to stay in contact. I view her guy friends just as I view girl friends.

[Anonymous]

I'm okay with a girl going out with her male friends if she lets me go out with my female friends.

[Asker]

I don't mind if he does, as long as he lets me know. I mean I don't even expect him to ask my permission too, I know he has friends that are girls and I trust him.

However, me being, well me... as a girl I feel its respectful for me to at least ask him, ya know?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah of course, a lot of men aren't comfortable with their girlfriends going out with male friends, because they are afraid they'll cheat and the truth is if a girl is going to cheat on me, she's going to cheat whether or not she goes out with her male friends or not.

[Metal189]

are you intentionally trying to make him jealous?

[Asker]

oh no no no. My really close guy friends are really protective of me, like I told someone else, my brother is military and when he left a few of my close guy friends stepped up and became my "brother figure" while he is gone. They ask me a lot of questions about my boyfriend and make sure he's treating me right. I would never intentionally try to make my boyfriend jealous. He does a lot for me, in fact he goes out of his way to do stuff for me. I couldn't ask for anything better.

[Metal189]

and yet you go out to lunch with guys

[Asker]

I ask him first, and I invite him. these are guys i've known for year, like I grew up with. They are like family to me. Its not like they are random guys.

[Metal189]

im just sayin', if your bf was enough, you wouldn't need to go out

[Asker]

alright, so let me get this straight. if you were dating a girl and she ASKED you if you would be okay if she went out to lunch with a guy that she GREW UP WITH that is considered family, even to her parents, AND she invited you... You would think that she was trying to make you jealous?

[Metal189]

of course

[Metal189]

since they're not family. they're still men, they still have dicks

[Asker]

So you're either really paranoid or don't trust your girlfriend. either way, that's not the type of relationship my boyfriend and I have. Thank you for your opinion though.

[Metal189]

im not paranoid, and i dont have a gf right now. you're an ass, thanks for talking, bitch

[Asker]

I'm not an ass, but i'm sorry you feel that way. Trust is a HUGE thing in relationships. If you wouldn't let your gf go out with a guy that she has known for years, thats a trust issue that you have with her and you two shouldn't be dating. Relationships shouldn't be a competition to see who can make who more jealous. They should be a relationship of compromise and mutual trust. If you disagree with that than i'm sorry, but in a healthy relationship no one should even question if the other person would cheat on them.