A guy starts to pull away after few dates? What to do to get him interested again?

I met this guy and we've been talking for a few weeks now have been on two dates. First was amazing, second we had a little bit of a difference as he wanted more intimacy than I could handle I gave him things other than sex and now he isn't acting the same. He used to message me good morning, text me all the time. I sent him a text once I got home and he said he thinks he needs to get to know me more but when I mention a future date he ignored it and whenever he replies back it's only a few sentences and not at all like he used to be he's sounding sullen. What do I do to make him interested in me again as I really like him and at the start I didn't really and I feel like now that he knows I like him he's pulling away?

The weird thing is he's constantly telling me that he's looking for a serious relationship and that he wants that with me but he just seems really sullen right now and sad?


Most Helpful Girl

  • He just wants sex. You didn't give it, like a good girl ;) so now he lost interest.

    • hahahah yes exactly right I am a good girl!

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What Guys Said 3

  • He obviously wanted more, or just sex, didn't get it and has moved on. If he was into you he would still be showing interest. I hate to say it, but I would move on.

    Here is the thing with what you are saying... I understand you really like him and want to try again, I admire and respect that. But, I think you need to just be yourself. That is the person he should be interested in. The minute you start doing things or behaving differently from your norm to keep a guy interested, it becomes, "false advertising." He should be interested in the true you, not someone you are pretending to be. This act may work, but it is only a temporary measure and eventually your normal personality will prevail and he will simply lose interest again.

    • It's not that I'm wanting to be someone I'm not, I just am not used to dating at all and I feel like more of a friendship with everyone it's who I am by nature, and I'm constantly thinking of how can I help them so they're not sad or whatever and that I don't want to lose a friendship or something on something so silly? I just wanted to know if I should give him space and what not or continue to ask how he is in the hopes he'll be upfront?

  • I don't mean to sound cruel but could it be that he was only interested in sex and once he learned that it wasn't going to be easy to get he decided to not put in any effort anymore?

    The first date guy probably isn't coming back I am sorry to say. Maybe he also has a bit of a relationship phobia, not looking to commit to something to get what he wants. Best to look elsewhere for someone nicer.

    • Yeah, it's just weird because when I wasn't as interested it's like he wouldn't leave me alone and now that I am interested he is backing away?

  • It'll be more work for you then it's worth, I know you like him but this is why people date, to check out to see if it's worth going to another level, a lot of times it's not. Take this as a lesson learned.
    The thing I'm coming to learn from this site is there are a lot of people seem to want go from meeting to marriage really quick. Not every person you like is going to like you back. Guard your heart.

    • That's okay, however for him to be all over me and telling me we had a connection and that he wanted a serious relationship to suddenly being sullen and withdrawn is crazy.. it's like bipolar I can understand guys confusion with girls after witnessing this.. I've never had someone be like this before so it's weird aha. I feel like he's doing it on purpose to draw me in and it's fucking crazy because it's working. I have this urge to fix whatevers wrong.

    • I understand what you're saying, I do. I think it's in a lot of of women's DNA to fix things, and that's awesome. But it seem way to early for these kind of games. Relationships shouldn't be that hard especially so soon. It's pretty common for a woman to hang on and try to fix a guy, the thing is you're probably not going to be able to do it. I'm not saying people don't change, but they don't change easily.

What Girls Said 2

  • did he asked for sex in your second date? if yes, then that's probably the reason why he lost interest because maybe for him, sex is the only way to get him more connected or feel intimacy with you. Since you didn't give him, maybe he feels you are not interested with him and hence, needs to get to know you more.

    You mentioned a future date and he ignored it because maybe he's thinking that date is useless without intimacy involved.. For you, dating him would be great but for him it's not since he wants sex.

    What to do? Nothing.. Don't waste your time and try hard to make him fall for you.. if he really likes you, he will still be interested in you.. Stop giving him things, it won't work.. He likes intimacy..
    If you really want to do something, then try to talk to him about your view in sex so he may know why you're not giving it to him.. Maybe he wants different type of relt'p and you want different type as well.. I can sense that he's too hot for sex and you're not and you're both not in same page, so it's time to move on.. It's hard but you need to accept it..

  • dont call him or text him. im sure ur an amazing girl who has other guys wanting to be with her. why chase after 1 guy who isn't giving u what u want when there are other guys who would be glad to have ur attention? his loss. keep ur options open and look for more guys