Why are all men cold heartless bastards? And players?

Question

This guy who I thought liked me, because he said he did, and said such nice things to me, and kissed me, didn't want a relationship. Why did he mess with me like that?

Pallid · Accepted Answer

For starters, not all men are "cold heartless bastards and players." That's an extremely uneducated generalization. I apologize if I might sound rude to you, but I'm simply correcting you. Just because the guys you've met or ever liked turn out to be "cold heartless bastards", it doesn't mean that ALL of them are. There are so many guys I know who I would pick over a girl any day just because things are more funny, light-hearted and drama-less.

Now that we have cleared up that, let's answer your question. See, guys know that girls love pretty words. And it's true. Girls fantasize about the prince charming who has all the right words to say, the perfect movie or book character that is wonderful with his speech. And that's why it's so easy to fool a girl because once we like someone, we genuinely believe that they mean every word. But hey, there are guys who have been through the same. Sure, it's not the vast majority but it isn't non-existent. That guy messed with you like that simply because he is a vile, selfish creature.

Darling, do not let this situation change your perspective of men. Are there a lot of assholes out there? Hell yeah! But there are good guys too and you ought to find him someday. Don't waste a minute of your precious time thinking about this guy who treated you in the way you don't deserve to be treated. Keep your head up high and your heart hopeful! x

AnayaWilliams · Accepted Answer

Not all men are like that, they are actually some good nice men out there you just have to go out there and find them. I have an ex who is a player, he just said sweet things to me, wanted a relationship but didn't want to commit, he pretty much led me on and then left. Sounds like to me he was a player. You have to be careful with dating those kinds of guys, they can say the sweetest things and make up excuses of being busy all the time. Although it could not be that they are busy it could be that they are seeing someone else or are afraid of commitment. Maybe he didn't like you that much or lost interest in you. Not all men are players they are some actually good ones out there you just have to get up and go out and meet them and interact with them.

itsme_goodsamaritan · Accepted Answer

Not all men are. You need to be very careful before letting any man into ur life. Its tough to know in advance, but you should stop being too sweet with strangers, or even acquaintances. If you refuse to do what they say, they might make u feel bad, but at least you know you are being safe.

CommieDearest · Accepted Answer

They're not. Stop generalizing. The situation you described isn't even that bad. Real heartless bastards will lie about wanting a relationship to get in your pants.

All you did was kiss ffs. It's possible he likes you and doesn't want a relationship, just like he said.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Being a nice guy, kissing you, and saying nice things doesn’t tie things together hun. He didn’t do anything cold hearted and instead actually saved you from a suffering relationship from him not being fully committed. I understand exactly his point, I've been in his shoes. It definitely wasn’t an easy thing to break with the girl I was with even after we did a lot more than just kiss. I still miss her and have strong feelings for her, I just wasn’t ready for the commitment so early in life. Sometimes you realize things aren’t set up right and need to put an end to them. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you or find your personality attractive. Just sometimes men aren’t in a general state in life for relationships and the same goes for girls.

He was not playing you. He simply had enough feelings to give you that kiss. Everyone in a while everybody needs to know they are desirable in some way. This was his way of telling you he found you worthy enough to kiss you. Also, don’t generalize all men just because one broke your heart. Just because 1 out of aprox 3 billion men that means all men are bastards and break hearts? Be careful what you say.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

You've been a busy girl if you know ALL men. Liking someone and WANTING a relationship are two different things. Assuming makes an Ass out of you.

rUinSAYAN · Answer

do you think a guy who treats you bad will ever get in your pants? - no, he just did what he needed to make you think about the bootycall before you reject him.
If a guy comes up to you: "hey bitsch wanna take a ride" then he is a real faggit. he just said what he wanted before it could get serious and 2-3 months is no big time, you are 30-35 age and still don't understand anything about the dating world? some want a relationship others want a fling, but you can't get laid if you behave like a douche ass and that's why there are:
-losers (creepy, can't talk to girls properly, want sex)
-normal guy who doesn't want to commit (this one you mentioned)
-relationship guy (he will not rush into a relationship but want one)
-player (tells you sweet shit, tells he wants a Relationship and leaves u after sex)

grow up girl

stevie123 · Answer

"all men" thou shalt not generalize.
"nor players"
Not all guys who like a girl, want an immediate relationship.
He may also want to date someone else, until he finds one he wants to pursue.
You should be old enough to realize that things are not perfect, and dating rituals are not written in stone.
You should keep seeing him, and see if you can entice him to keep you as a steady.

AutumnBloom · Answer

I've learned that us as women we tend to hear what we want to hear and not the truth of it. He probably showed signs he really didn't want a relationship and it's sounds like you really wanted this to work and you liked him alot. Not all guys are assholes hun sometimes something good comes along when we're not looking. :)

kheserthorpe · Answer

Most men are not players. Only a minority are.

Your other mistake though is that assuming liking you, being nice, and kissing you imply someone wants a relationship. It does not necessarily imply that. He was probably not 'messing' with you. He could be sitting going 'the girl I thought was into me, seemed to like me, enjoyed me, kissed me, didn't want to be FWB. Why did she mess with me like that?'

You wanted different things.

ArchDruidMordred · Answer

i think this has already been stated but I'll say it again cause yolo. Ur lucky ur a girl. If you were a guy and you posted something like this about women than you would be torn apart by both man and women. Feel fortunate minor criticism is all you're getting.

Panzer103 · Answer

I do t know why the majority of the guys who answered seem to think he did nothing wrong. Saying nice things is one thing, but kissing and all that is serious stuff. To kiss someone and act caring just to pull back and not want a relationship is cruel manipulative behavior. That guy was a prick. I hope the next guy you meet is of a better material.

jointhepatriarchy · Answer

Hm... Time for a meme.

JangusRoundstone · Answer

one man doesn't account for the entire population of men.

AleDeEurope · Answer

He said he liked you, but never said he wanted a relationship, so technically he did nothing wrong, you were the one who assumed he wanted a relationship, you should have asked him before going any further.

Dbt25677 · Answer

I heard a woman say 'salad' once. WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE HATE ALL OMNIVORES?  Just because he said stuff doesn't = shit.

StickStickity13 · Answer

If a man wrote this every girl will call you a bitter person. Such double standards.

Misskeeto · Answer

Because they're horny bastards. Same thing happened to me 2 years ago. Just gotta find that right boy who wants a relationship :)

Crazyced · Answer

I came here expecting a cheaters story. Turns out the man didn't do anything wrong, heck he didn't even have sex. All he did was not wanting a committed relationship with you.

How long did it take you to ask 'Hey, where are we going with this?'

apshm · Answer

You must have done something that caused him to lose interest in you. Men are fickle, but they're not cold heartless bastards.

Cómoestás · Answer

Why do women and men generalize their genders when things do not go their way? I believe it's called fucking LIFE. Get used to it

MaskedSanity · Answer

Aren't you a little too old to be throwing a whiny teen tantrum?

Metlahead · Answer

Evolution, Religion, and sexism are certainly the bulk of your answer.

rjroy3 · Answer

He didn't mess with you. He was honest and you got attached too quickly

CuriousEddie · Answer

Gee, I don't know. Same reason that all women make stupid generalizations?

NovemberJoseph · Answer

If he kissed you but doesn't want a relationship, then he just wanted to smash. If you couldn't tell that right away, then you're blind

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't say that ALL men are like this... stop generalizing all men.

p0rtis26 · Answer

They are not, I am not. good and bad... find a guy who cares about others

Anonymous · Answer

Why are all women dumb, incapable, manipulative, emotional whiners who can't drive and only want men for their money?

Anonymous · Answer

How very dare you, I may well be a heartless bastard but I am not a player, I couldn't score in a brothel with a $100 bill.

ElvenMr · Answer

"All men" but you are talking about one guy, anyway i would never do this to anybody.

Anonymous · Answer

Women are just as bad. I've been called cute before and guess how many of those women dated me? 0

fearlessromance · Answer

Not all mine are like that. I guess you should try to look for the ones that are serious.

koko124 · Answer

... You're dumb No really, you are pretty dumb.

Kshppatel · Answer

Lol girls have stop being so gullible.

Meedo · Answer

men dont like to be bound down easily...

Klaatu51 · Answer

not ALL men... not ALL!!!

Qwazihomo · Answer

On behalf of all men, im sorry

Kolipoki · Answer

He was just a horny monkey.

Anonymous · Answer

Ridiculous statement.

zombiebabe · Answer

feel the same as you

Why are all men cold heartless bastards? And players?

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