Why are Asian women (excluding Filipino) Chinese, Japanese, Korean, etc usually against dating black men?

[theperfectdater]

Have noticed this my entire life. Is it racism? Or an unspoken expectation within Asian families. Or is it more openly discussed?

[ravisher]

Generally speaking, A black man is not exactly the type of thing perceived by an average Asian girl as responsible, trust-worthy, presentable, romantically handy, etc... someone said this perception has to do with the image blacks themselves have portrayed to the world within the past 30 years. True, especially for Asian girls between 23 and 32 years and some older ones without 'non-asian experience'. Individually speaking, 'reaction to perception', manner of approach, mood of the girl, her level of exposure and past experiences can determine if an Asian woman discards her snobbish tendencies for an encounter with a black man.

However, there are other sides to this coin:

1. Asian girls have fantasies beyond being with a nice romantic cissy white/asian guy. Sometimes in their minds are ravished, man-handled, by male from a world apart, etc...

I'm black and got at least 135 Asian girls (mostly Chinese, few Koreans, Khazaks, Mongolian, Malaysian, Sing, 1 ) in the past 7 years. As I recall, most of them either had a cold feet the first time they saw me, they almost never know how to react to my calm presence, something like that. I have the kind of look that captures and scares women at first, but mostly comes to their fantasies later, and they try to see me again. I don't know exactly why, just something natural about women I guess. Societal norms do not define their every tendency.

2. I have experienced the positive sides of this 'black-hater' trend in Asian modern materialistic societies. As a black man, if 1 Asian girl likes/loves you for whatever reason. It's not for money/wealth, not for blue/green eyes, not for a foreign passport or a future in a 'better-off country', not for a mixed white baby, not to show off to her friends or colleagues, not to satisfy society; But love in its raw natural state without logical reasoning. This kind of love from an Asian girl is a wonderful thing as I have experienced. I doubt men from other races had the privilege.

[Xonen]

I think there is a bit of racism and stereotyping going on. Unfortunately, races, or any group of people in general, are judged by their portrayal in media. Stereotypes associated with Black men are usually not positive so that basically explains it. This shouldn't discourage you though. Unless they're EXTREMELY closed off mentally, you can make them overlook the stereotypes and have them judge you based on your individual qualities. As a Hispanic, there are mainly negative stereotypes that people are inclined to associate with me but as soon as they get to know me the negative stereotypes dissolved.

[Xonen]

Also, it's possible that some specific girls dislike dark complexions. This isn't racist, as long as its strictly an aesthetic preference for lighter complexion.

[jannii]

they're not against it, it's just they're more comfortable with their own nationality where they can communicate with their partner instead of struggling with the language.
you're from the US, so imagine a 24 or 25 year old Chinese woman going to the US. a place she knows nothing about and it's easier for her to find familiarity with another Chinese man..
also, as a part Korean, Chinese and Japanese person, i can say that they really care about blood purity. Chinese, Korean, and Japanese people don't really like the idea of halfies i guess. my mum is like 1/4 Japanese and 1/4 Korean and 1/2 Chinese whilst my dad is 1/2 Korean and 1/4 Chinese, 1/4 Japanese (my maternal grandmother is 1/2 Japanese, 1/2 Korean whilst my maternal grandfather is Chinese) so people like us are shunned upon. we are mixed blooded as they would say.
although those ideas are fading away, it was really serious years ago.
i know that they're also against adoption and stuff because you don't share the same blood line and stuff...
it's sort of complicated... but i think it's because they care about the purity i guess and also it's easier to relate to the person from your own nationality..

[theperfectdater]

I would be careful with the word purity...

I would agree with what you said in respects to immigrants. Makes total sense because of the stress with moving some place new. Although, my question is for American Asian women who are 2nd/3rd generation.

[jannii]

i'm not sure how to express it though. purity seems like the best way to explain it.
like my friend who is Japanese, her grandmother expects her to bring a 100% Japanese guy..
my parents don't care because, well we're already mixed anyways. i know that my fiance's grandparents (Koreans) were against us but now they learnt to accept me..

[theperfectdater]

Purity implies perfection, non-tainted, whole, etc.. The LORD brought disease to those who were against mixed marriages. That should be enough for anyone to be very careful with their words/actions

[jannii]

yeah but that's what they want
despite none of their blood being 100% whatever nationality, they seek it.

[Phy3dd]

So instead of bashing on your question. I'll answer with what I think. It's a combination of both combined with how society affects judgement. I've always seen Asian families really weary of breeding outside of the race in general. Even among st other kinds of Asian nationalities. FOR EXAMPLE. I am half Laotian and half Vietnamese. My dad is Vietnamese and my mom is Laotian. When I started my first year of college he gave me 'The Dating Talk'. Word for word he said: Find yourself a nice Vietnamese boy. Don't go dating those Laos guys. They're bad.
I snitched on him to my mom.

[theperfectdater]

Interesting. Thx!

[Phy3dd]

NP. I've felt the same way you do, to be honest. I dated a black guy once. I was too nervous about what my family and parents would think to enjoy it and be comfortable. So it didn't last (which isn't horrible considering he decided he liked my best friend more). I have a cousin on the other hand that can't stay away. She just finds them insanely attractive.

[COCOCHANEL]

it's about image

[theperfectdater]

Elaborate?

[koko124]

I'm copying a comment I made further down in this thread, because it would be especially relevant here:

It's because women are attracted to men based on how "popular" they are with other women, power, and status.

Generalize this to a racial scale, and you get white guys being more sexually desired than all other races of men (Making up the vast majority of positive media, the richest and most powerful nations in the world, etc).

Women on the other hand, are only attractive by virtue of their actual physical qualities. Status doesn't do anything for a woman's sexual attractiveness.

White men make up nearly all male protagonists in film and television. As for female protagonists, it doesn't really matter in comparison, because guys want to fuck/date women to begin with.

I've seen loads of Asian girls who mainly dated Asian guys in high school and graduated to dating white guys once in college/beyond. My guess would be that this is rather common in all races of women.

[theperfectdater]

best answer

[COCOCHANEL]

i am half caucasian and half japanese, born and raised in the united states. i have not found myself physically / emotionally attracted to any men except east Asian men. therefore i have and continue to exclusively date them and only them. i do NOT give a fuck what people think of me. i have NEVER accepted a caucasian, african, latin, arabic, etc man for any kind of romantic relationship. although i love my father more than anything or anyone in this world i do not feel obligated to be with a caucasian man. i follow my feelings.

HOWEVER, most Asian women do give a fuck and that's why i said what i said.

[theperfectdater]

When someone gets so defensive about a question that obviously holds some merit it makes me wonder... Is it that she is saying, I don't give a fuck about what people think about my preference... Or is it that she is saying, yeah I am prejudice and I don't give a fuck what you think. I would go with the latter considering the vitriol.

[COCOCHANEL]

it's because everyone i meet (irl and online) expects me to prefer caucasians and the fact is i have never dated them despite having many opportunities. i'm tired of the comments and raised eyebrows.

[COCOCHANEL]

and what @koko124 said is a summary of the school of thought that most people believe. i refuse to be mistakenly put in that box.

[theperfectdater]

It put you in a box when you only date one race. Saying what you represent/believe is what society at large represents/believe is not true. ONE race chooses to stay within their own race or date white men... Only Asians do that to an overwhelming degree.

I really find this subject of dating in between races so interesting. There should be more studies done. Take your case for example. You admit to not only dating one race of people but you also have some sort of emotional attachment to that race exclusively. A claim that I will assume means you can't physically have emotions for other races, even if you tried. I mean that's awesome/weird/wtf/crazy. I'm not saying that you are not telling the truth. But you have to admit it's crazy how you can have someone like myself, who is also bi-racial, with absolutely no racial preference and has had emotional attachments across the race spectrum to a person like you, where it sounds you are incapable of even doing so. Amazing how people are

[COCOCHANEL]

it's not being incapable, it's following my sexual desires.

[theperfectdater]

Right. Okay so emotional and sexual. Right, so your claim is you can't be sexually attracted to any other sex. If that's true I be great to study it. I mean it would be awesome to have you participate in an experiment where you have to choose between which two men you are more attracted to.

In the experiment they could bring in an incredible looking black guy and an average looking bloak. You would have to choose which person you find more attractive. If you kept selecting the white guy despite the black mans looks, just keep making the white sample uglier until you just can't. That be awesome to see what happened. And funny.

[COCOCHANEL]

i never said i couldn't. i said it hasn't happened. i'm not against the idea, but i've never felt attraction to guys of other races. they just don't look good.

[COCOCHANEL]

however, Asians including my mother often tell me i'm strange and that it's such a waste that i don't date caucasian guys.

[COCOCHANEL]

uh... kept selecting the white guy?
did you read what i wrote?
sounds like you're fighting a battle with your eyes and ears closed. re-read what i wrote.
thanks.

[COCOCHANEL]

p. s. i just know that if we were talking in real life you'd already be making rude comments about Asian men and how you think they have small genitalia. other races of men get so butthurt when i don't accept them but really it's about what i find attractive. not hollywood.

[theperfectdater]

White guy, Asian guy, green guy... Whatever. All that matters is in the test we would put in front of you what you claimed you were not physically and emotionally able to be attracted to (now you are back tracking from that statement earlier I see lol)

It would be tough for you to deny a great look mans great looks. I think you know that. I don't spew nasty racist shit about anyone by the way. Look at me as your savior. Maybe I will open you up to new ways of thinking and dating. People who get defensive and refused to look introspectively are usually just afraid of change and themselves. Maybe you will now.

[COCOCHANEL]

are you trying to cover up?
you just need to work on your reading comprehension, that's all.

[COCOCHANEL]

savior? you just have some chip on your shoulder and it has to do with white men apparently. you weren't prepared to react to the answer being Asian men.

[theperfectdater]

Actually I am prepared as I demonstrated in the last comment (although, the original question I believe is about black men) It can go whatever way... Green men, red, blue... You are the one who said you are not only emotionally atracted to ONE race but also physically attracted to ONE race. Do I need reading comp. for that? Then... you started to backtrack because you probably realized what you were saying... Why you would backtrack is besides me. If that's who you are it's who you are right? But again, it would be hilarious to see you turn down not only gorgeous black men but men of every race except one.

[COCOCHANEL]

why are you so angry?
you can't pin it on me being brainwashed by hollywood. what are you gonna blame it on?

[doireallyneedone]

@theperfectdater It's pretty obvious that @COCOCHANEL is attracted to Asian men and this is her preference. What's the big deal?

The reason why a lot of Asian women specifically don't date black men is because, as someone has already mentioned, white men are seen as the top dogs - due to media, film, history etc. So either they'll go with their own race (Asian) or they want the top dog (White men). Every other race is seen as inferior to those two. It's racist, yeah. But that's the world we live in, it's not fair.

[COCOCHANEL]

i don't think i backtracked, i said that i have never FOUND myself attracted to any races other than japanese. i am OPEN to anyone but haven't felt anything yet. i see european models everyday. i can recognize beauty.

[theperfectdater]

Oh, you don't know beauty yet. Not until that experiment.

[decemberxblue]

Out of all the answers given, I'm surprise nobody told the truth. Probably because it's harsh, and of course nobody wants to make others or themselves look bad. But I'll be honest about the reason why.

-Dark skin is viewed as ugly and low status by Asians.

-As COCOCHANEL said, it's about image. In the words of my Korean friend "Asian girls are very aware of their image and status." Which leads to...

-Racial status. They "won't date down."

-In the words of my Chinese friend "Asian girls who date Black tend to rebel their culture in general."

-White colonialism led to respect admiration (Racial status).

Addressing comments regarding "preference." "Individual race preference", and "race preference trends" are two different phenomena's. I don't want to sugar coat it, if you're looking to date Asian you have an uphill battle ahead of you.

[decemberxblue]

respect and*

[IsabelleBk]

are u sure about dis qst
are u really sure
www.chinasmack.com/.../...ouple-black-asian-02.jpg
3.bp.blogspot.com/.../DSCF4416.JPG
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images
ourmode.ca/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/DSC_1948.jpg

[theperfectdater]

Yes, I am positive... I did't say you can't find one picture online of an Asian women with a black man Lol... Rather let me put it this way. I will guarantee you in the next month you won't see a couple like that in REAL life.

[theperfectdater]

By the way, I have seen all these pics on another thread Lol. There obviously isn't too much of a selection to pic from...

[IsabelleBk]

Well pictures are the proof that couple like this exists. I've seen it many times and I don't even live in the US

[theperfectdater]

No existing is not where I am going here and I didn't want my question to get strawmanned at every turn...

Let's keep this in the United States. And I find it hard to believe that you see it 'all the time; in a country with a dismal Asain population... But you see what you see right

[doireallyneedone]

@theperfectdater It's pretty obvious that @COCOCHANEL is attracted to Asian men and this is her preference. What's the big deal?

The reason why a lot of Asian women specifically don't date black men is because, as someone has already mentioned, white men are seen as the top dogs - due to media, film, history etc. So either they'll go with their own race (Asian) or they want the top dog (White men). Every other race is seen as inferior to those two. It's racist, yeah. But that's the world we live in, it's not fair.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure it's not all Asian women & it's certainly not racism. There are people of all races who would be willing to date outside of their own race. But those who don't are not racist, it's just a preference. No different then someone having a preference for skinny or curvy women.

[theperfectdater]

I would agree. But wouldn't you also agree that some races are more likely to date outside than others? Having said that, Asian women seem to do it the least.

[Opinion Owner]

I do see a lot black men date outside their race, & Latinos of both genders date outside their race also.

[Anonymous]

Well forget those certain asians. I like the ones who want to create more beautiful Blasian babies

lookpurdy.files.wordpress.com/.../...event-003.jpg

4.bp.blogspot.com/.../Tyson%2BBeckford%2Bwow.jpg

[theperfectdater]

Beckford is Asian?

[Opinion Owner]

Lol boyy yes. Black and Asian. I have a whole list for ya. But I just chose a quick two

[Anonymous]

Some guy said a similar thing the other day on here. I think this whole black guy divide is an American thing to be honest, most girls in England find black and mixed black guys attractive. I was seeing a black guy while I was in LA ( and I'm a type of Asian just not any you've mentioned) but I felt a bit intimidated by his girl mates because they made me feel I shouldn't be going out with a black guy. I never thought it was an American thing until I went on holiday there and ended up sort of dating a guy from the states

[theperfectdater]

Yeah... Maybe it's the media programming out here.

[-Zoe-]

I'm not sure... maybe because most of them have more lighter complexion and are attracted to similar complexion tone... or maybe its just they are not used to seeing around men having skin tones other than theirs...

[COCOCHANEL]

nobody lets white people get away with that excuse...

[-Zoe-]

in short, I don't know... its all "maybe"... we are all unique with unique preferences...

[theperfectdater]

I would agree that we are all unique with our preferences. Maybe a lot of it has to do with media and environmental factors. Because if each INDIVIDUAL is unique but the culture at large is doing that same thing... must be another influencing factor. Guess I am trying to figure out what that could be. I understand in Asian countries you are a lot less likely to see a black guy... But in the USA you'd think it be different. Especially with black influence in media (positive on negative.

[-Zoe-]

yes I somewhat agree with that, influencing factors play a role... It still depends on the individual on how easy are they being influenced.., Here in Canada, I've seen a lot of multiculture/nationality/ethnicity or whatever you call that, that goes along well.. I mean, I've seen light tone chinese dating dark skin tone girl, and vice versa... (I don't want to use color like white and black, my apology) :)

[menina]

Maybe because they're not attracted to black men or they prefer do date/marry within their "race".

[theperfectdater]

An entire race of people has likened attraction... really?

[menina]

Yes, really. People are entitled to have their preferences.

[theperfectdater]

Right. When you say people are you speaking on an individual basis. I am trying to understand if you mean the Asian people as a whole feel that way. You did say YES.. Yes to what?

[menina]

When I say people I mean individuals. And of course, I can't speak for all Asian women. But, I guess they have their own reasons for not wanting to date/marry black men.

[kneebeef]

Because black men are terribly represented by the media. You're either an athlete, musician, entertainer; or; a criminal, drug dealer, drug addict, or gangster.

And yes, most Asian families would prefer their children marry inside their race. It makes it easier for them to still connect with their grandchildren.

[abundantlyrich]

Well Asian culture still revolves around what would affect as a whole, not as individuals. I don't think they would like to be ridiculed by their surrounding peers. Black skin isn't exactly seen as desirable first hand. And they can be nitnicky about their choices.

[albundyfan]

There's nothing you can do about it man. Everyone is not going to want to date you. I'm currently dating a japanese woman, and Im her first black boyfriend. Don't sweat it so much. In my experiences, its mostly SOME asian- americans who dont date black guys. They can do whatever they want. Its their life.

[theperfectdater]

I am not trying to do a thing about it. Rather, as stated in my question, I am trying to discern why it is soooo unlikely to see a 'traditional' Asian women with a black man... I have a girlfriend that I am quite happy with Lol.

[albundyfan]

They have a weird thing about dark skin. When I was in Hong kong, a man explained to me that not only is dark skin representative of a peasant its also associated with demons. Its so ignorant , I know. While I was there , it was impossible to get a cab unless I had a non-black person with me. Its a shame. In japan though, black people aren't really seen in a negative light. . Im sure when I move back there Ill probably get married to a japanese woman. But who knows what the future holds.

[theperfectdater]

Well that sucks. Hopefully things change for the better with their perception.

[Xonen]

I also noticed this when I was in China. All of the younger people, mainly females, carried around umbrellas to keep the sunlight off of their skin.

[arrasando]

It's questions like these that made me ask this question
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1173534-why-do-some-black-men-come-on-here-putting-down-black-women-but-as

[arrasando]

Thanks for long ass novel

[arrasando]

Wow you have issues. I did not ask for all that. What does excercise have to do with Asian women? You are immature and obviously butt hurt.

[arrasando]

Reported and blocked

[nonopink]

That's not true. Three of my friends in hong kong are married black men and they love their hus :) i know old Korean and Japanese think black men are dangerous due to the media though =/ but younger generations are different

[daddysbaybegurl]

i feel special sense you excluded filipinos cuz im filipino and black men are my preference and when i tell people i like black men sometimes they make a face i get mad and mean

[theperfectdater]

Yeah, In my experience Filipino women are very open to other races. Including black guys.

[daddysbaybegurl]

you know , i still remember this convo and we would make an awesome team on answering questions together i like how u can look from other peoples pov

[hewlett_packard]

filipino and tgau girls dont against dating black man i met some filipino and thai girls on penpaland com they are very pretty

[RationalMale]

Because they don't like black guys.

Why is it that every time I click this website, it's either a black guy complaining other races won't date him, or a black girl crying about how she wants white guys to date her?

[theperfectdater]

Umm because it's indicative of what is happening in society... Is it not a good question prick.

[RationalMale]

It's indicative that despite black women being the least likely to marry, statistically, and black men having a very skewed bf to bm ratio, black guys are obsessed with dating white girls/asian girls.

If blacks have decided their race is such a horrible dating option, why be surprised that other races have decided to take your opinion?

[theperfectdater]

So, your claim that everyone else is following suit. And at one point in time in the past when black men were dating black women almost exclusively Asian women and other races were more likely to date black men too. Cool I got you... Oh fuck wait you were just being a cock again. My bad

[RationalMale]

The point is, with black men and women despising each other enough they're obsessed with dating other races, what does that tell everyone else? Grow up and try dating a black girl, stop being so racist and hateful of black women.

[theperfectdater]

That's actually factually incorrect. Black women date overwhelmingly within their own race. Second only to Asians... And since my question is about MEN you have no point here at all dumbshit because black women LOVE their black men. Quit pawning yourself off as anything else but a prick. Also, do not assume you know who I am with, who I have been with, or who I desire. On this thread I have repeated over and over how I do not have a preference and my track record proves it. So, the point is you have no point and from the jump you were trolling.

[nerdyasianman14]

I am Asian. My sister is currently dating a black American man.. Whatchu talkng about foo?

[theperfectdater]

Hah but again, you are Malaysian... The darker skinned Asians don't seem to take issue. That's why I put Filipino.

[nerdyasianman14]

I am quarter Chinese.

[theperfectdater]

Oh well maybe she is an exception.

[Anonymous]

What? No... I'm a military brat and you ALWAYS see a Filipino or Korean woman looking for a military man to marry white or black they don't care as long as the guy is in the military lol

[theperfectdater]

Yeah... dark skinned Asians maybe. Not disputing that. Although, "traditional" looking Asians heck no

[Opinion Owner]

No, I have a friend that's pretty light probably Golden Medium on this chart at her darkest tommybeautypro.files.wordpress.com/.../...tor.jpeg and her husband was DARK like darker than this guy 25.media.tumblr.com/...m45bms7FT71r33a3xo1_400.jpg and they have 3 kids together. Maybe you assuming that they don't want you is putting you in a bad mood and setting off bad vibes and making them NOT want you.
Seriously, if you're just going to deny that Asian girls date any black guys every time someone posts an opinion then what's the point in asking the question? If I tell you Asian chicks love military guys then Asian chicks love military guys and from what I've seen the same amount are with white guys as with black guys.
I can't speak for Japanese or Chinese women though as I barely see any with ANY men (usually when I see them they're mixed like 1/4 Asian rest white or part hispanic or something then again I live in Mississippi currently so that may be why)

[theperfectdater]

Women is/was kinda my thing... Lol I have a great girlfriend and you assume too much.

[Opinion Owner]

Don't ask a question if you don't want honest opinions #justsayin

[theperfectdater]

Seems that some are attempting to say that the foundation of my question is false. That; traditional Asian looking women actually don't discriminate against black men... I was operating under the obvious assumption that most know that's not true. I am positive my opinion is supported through independent research and even dating site research. But okay, you see what you see right... So thanks for the perspective.

[cth96190]

It is not racism to want to mate only with your own kind.

[theperfectdater]

You are the only one interjecting/may I say projecting lol racism into this conversation...

[theperfectdater]

"... with your own kind." smh

[bastuss]

you are totally wrong dude , a lot japanese female tourists here hunting for dark tanned men ( i life in bali-indonesia) ;p.

[Anonymous]

Bruh in Asia they have this fucked up obsession with looking as white as possible. I'll say no more.