Do some guys not text a girl first simply because they're afraid of saying the wrong thing, or does it always mean they're not interested?

[Anonymous]

I mean, if he already knows that the girl really likes and cares for him.

[SteveZissou]

I think its because of a lack of confidence. Making the first move is very intimidating for guys, but its also for girls. For example, I would make the first move by asking a girl out for lunch. Its intimidating for me because she could say no. But if she said yes, its also very intimidating for me as well to portray myself in a way that hopefully she likes. However, the same goes for the girl, I've learned that girls are just as nervous when they are asked out on a first date. They want to portray themselves in an attractive manner as well. Its a two way street, and after realizing that, it makes me feel more relaxed and therefore, more confident.

I've learned that with girls, its not what you say but rather what you do that girls take notice. Im not afraid to text/call girls for dates, but rather Im afraid if im choosing the right restuarant/coffee shop/concert for the first date.

Respond to my post please!!
girlsaskguys. com/dating/q1192553-if-your-gf-bf-told-you-its-easier-to-ask-for-forgiveness-than-for

[Asker]

Thank you :)

[Asker]

I've replied to your Q :)

[Anonymous]

I had a girlfriend when i was 19 that i never text i liked her sooo much and i would stress about what if she doesn't text back so i just never text then ages later after we broke up she said she thought i wasn't that interested because i nevr text but truth was i was scared i'd get no reply or bad news so I didn't want to text because of that not because i didn't like her

[Asker]

Ok, thanks. How could I reassure him that I do still like him, without me chasing him all the time?

[Opinion Owner]

maybe just tell him how you feel. For me if she'd told me that she thought i didn't seem interested because i wasn't txtn her i would have made the effort and we probably would have been together longer. over the years i've learned communication is vital for relationships

[Asker]

I think I will tell him, next time I see him in person alone. Thanks.

[citroen]

I think if a guy likes you enough he would text you, even if a guy is apprehensive coz he's shy or scared of saying the wrong thing, then i still think hed text you, coz texting would be easier than speaking on phone or face to face , you could text him and just say hi how are you, to see how he responds. if its a guy you dating it could simply just mean he is busy though, but then again if he cares about you would make the time the to contact you.

[treaclejo]

Oh I have this problem too, then when I message him , he will reply and then spends next couple of hours messaging me. I know my guy gets really busy and isn't a communicator. He doesn't have Facebook but it is so frustrating! I would say just try to get more in person time with him and judge from that. Apparently guys don't go by the amount of text or who started convo but by in person time. Am I wrong guys?

[Asker]

Well I'm going to spend time with him tonight, because I caved in and messaged him and we arranged to visit

[Kyndra]

My guy said he was afraid of me getting tired of him when we first started texting because I rarely texted him first.

[Iron_Man]

Some guys dont like to tezt and some guys are shy as well, some want the girl to text first

[Asker]

Ok thanks.
What if the girl texted first numerous times (like once or twice every day for a fortnight) and he still won't text first? Could he still be shy at that stage?

[Iron_Man]

It could mean he was real busy or it could mean he does not care that much and he will get back to you when he feels like it.

[Asker]

I know for a fact that he was not real busy.
So maybe he just doesn't care that much :(

[Iron_Man]

Give it some time but don't get attached. If he does not get back to you move on It was not meant to be.

[Asker]

Ok. Unfortunately I already feel quite attached because we have had some deep, personal conversations and such.

[Iron_Man]

Well give it some time but if he won't get back to you what then will you do? I dont think a guy like that is worth you getting hurt over.

[Asker]

I already have it 2 days. How much longer should I give it?

[Iron_Man]

Two more days then move on if you hear nothing. That will be 4 days

[Asker]

Thanks :)
He messaged me first yesterday and asked me to hang out, so I hung out with him last night!

[Iron_Man]

Ok thats cool

[SomeoneImportant]

I usually don't text a girl unless she texts me first. I actually do that with everybody except my closest friends. My way of thinking is "If they wanted to talk to me, they'd text me".

[Asker]

Well that's how I'm feeling: if he wanted to text me, he'd text me, right? He already knows I want him to initiate half the conversations and that I like talking to him.

[SomeoneImportant]

I say just go ahead and text him. Who's knows, he might be thinking the same thing. Just text him if you really want to talk to him, what's the worst that can happen?

[Asker]

He could keep talking to me and I could keep thinking he is interested when he really isn't.

[SomeoneImportant]

Well if you really want to talk to him. Then do it, don't think about the worst case scenario, just let whatever happens happen.

[AnnaRo]

Im in the same situation as this girl. And i dont text first cause i dont want to be annoying. But he doesn't text first either and I don't know why.

[SomeoneImportant]

@AnnaRo I say just text the guy, no sense in putting so much drama into it. For some that's much easier said than done, but that's just what I think.

[AnnaRo]

I want to, but i feel like im annoying him. You can go to my profile and check the question I made, there you can know more about it. Thanks a lot tho :))

[Asker]

I just messaged him then. I said, "Hey ___, was your weekend?" He replied telling me that it was good and he slept all Sunday. Then he said, "how was yours?" And went out of the Facebook messenger app immediately after that, before he could read my reply. That's a bad sign, isn't it?

[SomeoneImportant]

Maybe his phone shut off or something. Don't worry about, even if he isn't interested in conversation at the moment, he may later on. But I know where he's coming from, no matter how much I like a girl. I find small talk extremely boring. I've actually done what he did, but not with FB, I just didn't reply to her text.

[Asker]

Ok thanks. I'm not that fond of small talk either, but it's how you start a conversation, right?

[SomeoneImportant]

He probably just doesn't feel like talking. Unless he replies to what you sent, I say just leave him alone for a bit.

[Asker]

Ok thanks

[SomeoneImportant]

No problem bud.

[Asker]

He just agreed for me to come over to catch up with him. I don't know how to approach the topic...

[SomeoneImportant]

Me either, just think of something casual to say.

[Asker]

I hung out with him and kept it light and casual, without mentioning my concerns. Then after that, he's started messaging me first! Thanks for your help :)

[kep79]

i'm afraid of saying the wrong thing.

[Asker]

Ok thanks.