Do guys find tomboys unattractive?

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

Do guys find tomboys (girls who act similarly to guys) unattractive?

I like a lot of stuff that girls typically don't. For example, horror movies (blood and violence), sports, i. e. Football, spiders and snakes, mud and dirt. And hate a lot of stuff girls are supposed to like, like shopping, makeovers, dresses/skirts, pretty much anything girly.

Anyway I have this fear that guys find that unattractive, so is it?

[Anonymous]

Few issues with your thinking pattern here and things you may need to know.

First you're a teen. You are still developing your personality. You are not a tomboy, you are convincing yourself you're a tomboy because you're trying to define yourself. I knew MANY tomboys in my teen years, I was one too.
Just a bunch of girls who watched teen movies about the unique tomboy girl who gets the guy. So all girls decided they'll be unique. Funnily enough, there were lots of girls like this in my school. At least 40%. xD
As we grew, we all dropped that tomboy-identity shit except for one girl. She's now declaring herself as homoflexible. She has a girlfriend.

Second there was one underlying idea all girls who called themselves "tomboys", "girly tomboys", "girls, but tomboyish and not afraid of dirt" had... And that was: "Boys will like me more. If I become this. No, I really am this... I will stand out and they'll notice me. I am special and better than all those other "regular" girls. I am girl+. Boys will like me more."
No tomboy would of course admit to this in their teens. None of us did.

Sorry to break it to you, but as soon as you begin to seek out men and not boys, you'll realise one simple and a very obvious truth: At worst, men will find you unappealing and butch, at best they won't give a shit. They genuinely won't.
You'll get: Meh, it'll probably help to have stuff in common.
But even that is not true.

Only 2 types of men are the ones I've seen that are genuinely into tomboy women:
1st is the shy "fag". He is the submissive, insecure, shy and/or a nice guy who is just waiting for that one iron lady to sweep him of his feet. (Unless you are that rare 3% of female population who will come to enjoy dominating a relationship, you'll run for the hills desiring to find a "real man".

2nd is the fetishist. This is the guy who, regardless of his own personality, has come to fetishise tomboys. If you stay a tomboy, this is probably your golden boy.

[Opinion Owner]

As time went on all the tomboys, to varying degrees, became girly girls, regular girls, elegant girls, cute girls, what have you... Why?
Trial and error. A simple and obvious truth of what guys actually find attractive, of what makes girls most honest with themselves. Of the way most popular women out compete one another. Of how they get under a guy's skin.

Femininity.

Sweetness, wit, only a bit of spice, gentleness, fragility, mystery...
Femininity can be flavored in any way a girl's personality turns out, but it is the most natural inclination you'll ever have as a woman and a pattern of dress and behavior you will naturally fall into if you have normal biology and live in a regular calm society.

So here is my final advice for you. Work on your identity, but don't tie your pride to it. Consider you're not a tomboy but a teen phase right now.
Try to put least amount of stock possible into whether guys will like that current identity. This will happen anyway and during

[Opinion Owner]

developmental years boys don't know jack shit, this may cause insecurity and an identity crisis later on. Take your time and be careful with labels.

And no, guys don't prefer tomboys. If they do, they are most likely not the guys women on average find appealing. (dominant, masculine guys) Consider what kind of man you wan to attract as you attempt to find a partner later on.

And for the record, me personally... I went from a tomboy to an ultra feminine girl. I'm the most feminine girl I know.
Don't think fake make up shallow diva stereotype, think pure feminine virtue: nurturing, gentle, sweet, yielding, dressed femininely, cute, unashamed of being sensitive, polite, fragile, shy (that one I was always though), modest...

I've come to value and greatly enjoy femininity. And now, as an average looking girl, I have more guys hitting on me than most prettier girls I know. When I was a tomboy barely any guys liked me, and only fief asked me out.

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

First of all, no. Secondly, the thought of me being even slightly feminine makes me want to be sick. And as for the one girl who didn't change, I'm heterosexual, 100% heterosexual. I have women issues. 3. This isn't a "teen phase", I've been like this since I was in grade 3. It's not a phase. I'm pretty sure boys weren't on my mind when I was nine, football was. I've never had issues with figuring out sexuality, or "who I am", I've always known.

Fake make up shallow diva stereotype is what I think of when the word 'feminine' comes up. As I said before, I have women issues.

"Boys will like me more", I asked this question for the future seeing as I'm almost not a teen and my parents keep asking about boys.

And FYI, I care more about personality than physical appearance (body).

[Opinion Owner]

I was a tomboy all my life too. I never said I suddenly became a tomboy in my teens.
The "phase" I am talking about is me thinking of myself as a tomboy, me building my identity around that. (As well as all other girls.)

We all played "like boys" when little. It's called being a kid.

Second, the fact that you dismiss all I told you with such a simplistic rationalisation: "No I'm still different because I have women problems." just shows your age.
Women who don't have "women problems" are very rare. You're just like any girl out there.

Now I've hurt your pride I get it.
But when you hit 20 something and need more advice on what's to come, because I was right about this, hit me up if you wish. ^^

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

My age has nothing to do with it and my women issues go to the extreme! Being an adult gives you no additional knowledge, that I couldn't possibly know. And I have women issues because of the shit I've gone through with them. If it were up to me, I would never associate with a woman ever again, they're minipulating and evil.

Before the age of nine, I never, as you put it, "played like a boy". My father and male friends got me interested in these things, cause that's what they did. Back then I wanted to be social and try new things, I tried them and liked them and I'll stick with that.

And it takes A LOT more than this to hurt my pride.

[Opinion Owner]

All I'm reading here: "No you're wrong, I AM special! You don't know me! And I don't care what you think!"
Teenagers... xD

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

All I'm seeing here is "I'm an adult so I know more than you" Pfft, adults!

[Opinion Owner]

Hahah. ;)

[wölfin-fräulein]

It doesn't really matter how you dress or behave. Men will like a tomboy when she is attractive. just imagine an actor with a good face, acting different roles. In one she can become a lady, in another she can become a tomboyish look science assistant, in another a dancer, or an adventurer or a thief playing with swords.
in every role a group of males will 'love' her, at the same time all do 'like' her because she is generally attractive.

so the key to the variety of what you can do with yourself without caring too much about attraction is being attractive to a point.

an attractive hetero woman can make even lesbians fall in love with her. and an attractive male can do it with gays. But an unattravtive lesbian doesn't even attract lesbians.

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

It doesn't matter how I dress or behave just how well I can alter my personality to make people like me.

And to be honest that's falling in love with the character she plays, the 'act', not the actress herself.

[wölfin-fräulein]

"just how well I can alter my personality to make people like me."

no. do not interpret it for yourself. I did not say alter your personality or altering your personality can make different people like you. But it was an example to say a person with a good physical appearance in different personalities that are not 'negative' can attract the certain number that she needs to attract.

So remain as yourself, a tomboy. that meant to tell that it does not necessarily make men dislike you.
as we have a certain number of tomboys in girls we have a certain number in men who like tomboys. so there is no worrying.

But the only thing to consider and I pointed out is that between those tomboys they simply prefer the ones who are more attractive physically as well. and those who are generally more attractive usually fit to every kind of 'role' a girl or boy. and generally are liked by the whole population of men or women.

[wölfin-fräulein]

simply if you are more near to average, then you are more limited to the certain group of men who like the personality specifically.

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

I don't think you understand my point...

[wölfin-fräulein]

I don't think you have a point, I do. you didn't make a point in your question. if you still didn't understand the point of what I said then you can read again. It is clear enough.

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

If I'm generally attractive, my personality doesn't mean shit. Ok, thanks :) good to know!

[wölfin-fräulein]

it does mean. why do you get everything wrong? But the point was that attraction is a balance of physical appearance and personality. being above average can make one more successful being in different 'positive' characteristics. We have different positive characteristics and we have negative characteristics. different positive characteristics are classified as and what makes one a tomboy or girly girl or daddy's girl or intellectual or etc. negative characteristics are general characteristics that are disliked by all that can be in every personality whether you are a girly girl or a tomboy.

So having one of those personalities doesn't mean you are disliked by men. because all of them are positive in a way. But physical appearance can simply make the chance of success of anyone in his or her certain personality more. done.

[wölfin-fräulein]

again, simply being in different personalities is not negative, while you may not be sexually preferred by all. distinguish between those. when I say being in different personalities I do not mean being bitchy and having a good face. when you are a bitch everyone will dislike you it doesn't matter what personality you have.

But in different positive personalities while you may not be sexually preferred by all you are not disliked as well.

And so in that positive state as I said having a good physical appearance always adds to attraction.

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

Physical beauty enhances personality so what does below average physical beauty do? It means all I'll have is my personality but no one will know what that is like cause they won't get close enough because I don't look like a movie star... I'm pissed now. DONE.

[wölfin-fräulein]

It doesn't 'enhance' personality, it improves the chance of attraction. attraction is not one-sided it is both physical and psychological, both related to physical appearance and personality. And it needs a balance of those.

yes, if you have the best personality of the world being physically below average lessens the chance of attraction.

you do not need to be a movie star, but you have to have a good balance between the two to attract the certain number that you may want.

[Soph0120]

I would say it depends, I just asked my other half this and turns out he thinks I'm kind of a tomboy.. Why? Well according to him I don't like wearing pinky girly stuff all the time (skinny jeans & converse kinda girl) I don't mind getting dirty, I don't wear a ton of make up and I'll happily sit and play call of duty with him. And to be honest thinking about it,, he's right. I never knew I was a tomboy lol I hate spiders tho! So yh, tomboys must be attractive to some men. :)

[Hibernia86]

Are you saying you like sports or that you play sports? A lot of men find athletic girls to be very attractive. There are plenty of internet sites that are only about attractive female athletes.

Even if you just like sports rather than play them that doesn't mean that men won't be attracted to you. Men love when their girlfriends are able to do things with them that they both enjoy (while giving each other some time alone with their friends, of course). The biggest danger for you is not that men will see you as unattractive, but rather that men will see you as just "one of the guys". It is basically the friendzone for women. If you are interested in dating any of the guys you know instead of just being friends with them, I think that you should focus on making yourself look nice. You don't have to like shopping and skirts, but putting on some makeup and flirting would help them to see you as female rather than just another guy.

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

Both, I like to watch sports because it's very exciting and great generally but I also LOVE to death playing sports. Ok, thanks

[Kevin180]

Not at all. Personally, I would find you very attractive because you would be able to do things like sports and horror movies WITH me, unlike other girls who wouldn't be able to spend that time with me, or do those things with me. Actually, if you ever need a date, give me a call. ;)

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

Thank you :) of course ;) haha

[scully]

This whole "do guys like" question is unfair. Its too general. All are different! All have different interests!
Many guys WILL like what you are calling "tomboy" type. But its not about being "tomboy" its about the PERSON who you are. Really, a mature guy is really interested if a girl has Confidence and KNOWS who she is, which is pretty common for what you are calling "tomboy". If you have confidence, can treat a guy as an equal Human Being first, and a romantic and sexual interest AFTER that (not secondary, just second), then you will have great friends and lovers too. Some guys (and girls for that matter) won't or can't handle it. That's their problem. Don't change for others. Be who you are and relate to those who are good with who you are.

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

I could have said 'do all guys' but I thought that would have been unfair to say. 'Do guys' was meant to be individual opinion. But thanks

[wyldun]

having a tomboy for a partner would be having the perfect bff, we could share ALL of our likes and those nice little differences in ways no male friend could. like another guy said, i have been searching my whole life for a tomboy to share with and if you need a date, let me know :)

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

Aww thanks that’s really sweet

[wyldun]

sweet enough for a date? lol

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

Hmmmmm

[wyldun]

hahahaha

[slatyb]

You are a dream date for a lot of guys. They get to have fun with you and then they get to go home and have more fun. My experience is that straight girls into guy stuff are also really into guys -- tomboys tend to genuinely like guys. Yeah, it's great when you dress up but most girly stuff just means "high maintenance". You are young, all you need to do is clean up and put on a tight pair of jeans and you will look fabulous. You can skip the makeup and dresses and heels if you like and guys will still find you hot.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Some will, some won't. You don't want every guy on the planet attracted to you, do you?

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

Of course not! Haha

[yaddayaddayadda02]

So be who you are and guys who are into that will find you attractive. Overall, it doesn't sound like a major deal breaker.

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

I will! Very helpful, thank you :)

[spuitkaas]

I'm kind of a tomboy myself and lots of guys actually like it if you play games, watch anime, do kickboxing, wear sweaters and beanies etc (kinda describing myself lol). They do like it more if you also have a more feminine side. That you're not all guy and that doesn't have to be a hobby or something, but for example a way of acting.

[miserybusiness]

Hmmm haha according to your description, I'm a tomboy too. Playing games, watching anime, wearing sweaters, etc, is genderless in my opinion and doesn't make you a tomboy.

I'm kind of curious about the OP's definition of a "tomboy" - considering she's under 18, she may have an inaccurate perception. I used to think I was tomboyish too till I realized I was girly as hell.

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

Well, I love deadly and gross animals (spiders are my favourite), I play lots of sport, football (soccer) in particular. I le joy running around in mud and rain and sweating like hell. Horror movies are exciting the blood, guts and gore are cool. I don't wear dresses for fear I might look feminine and I hate that. I wear marvel/DC shirts and baggy football shorts. Make up and the thought of shopping repulsed me. I burp, fart and eat like pig (not all the time) and I'm proud to do so. And I generally do not act like a 'girl' should.

I've been told I'm a tomboy and most of my friends just refer to me as being a boy. It doesn't bother me as much as people think it should.

I honestly don't see what being under 18 has to do with it, if my definition is 'inaccurate', please provide your definition.

[WpCurious]

It will depend on the guy. Everybody have their own type, some guys like the girly girls, others the inbetweeners, and others like tomboys. It is a matter of taste :)

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

I think you're right :) thanks

[WpCurious]

Pleasure :)

[iglow]

I've always been a little tomboy. I grew up with 4 brothers so I spent lots of my time doing things my brothers do, playing with toy cars, building bionicles, playing videogames, playing bandy and soccer etcetc.. I dont know why but even now I have more guy friends than girl friends. I don't really look like tomboy though, I do like fashion and makeup and shopping and things like that too. Many of my guy friends have said that they think that being a little tomboy is a good thing.

[Klaatu51]

unattractive? you're kidding me sister...

you tomboys are more attractive than girly girl... FAR MORE attractive. both in looks and personality

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

Aww, thanks <3

[Klaatu51]

:-)))

[Klaatu51]

damn 4 people didn't agree... :-(

[Mesonfielde]

""And hate a lot of stuff girls are supposed to like, like shopping, makeovers, dresses/skirts, pretty much anything girly. ""

Good! We'd be good friends and possibly more later already. Although I really need to find someone with a sense of fashion who would help me buy clothing from time to time, because I suck at finding places where they sell things I want.

Tomboys are cool.

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

I have a sense of fashion but don't choose that, I have an older sister who taught me that stuff

[billosborn]

to me you are the girl i have been lookig for my whole life an mud an dirt looks great on a girl let lose if he dont like you for you he ant worth you time you dont want some one who is going to try an try to change you for who he wants you to be you should want someone who like you for you an there are men who like women like you im one!!!

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

Aww thanks :)

[Coolguy1928]

I love tomboys, they're easier to predict and understand. :)
But I also love the cute ones. :D

Most men just want those sexy women who wear heavy makeup. :P :(

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

Haha, that's fair :)

Eww, I don't like make up!

[Coolguy1928]

Yay, that means more natural beauty! :D

[Voice]

In my opinion tomboys end up as marriage material because they pay attention to all the natural things first then external beauty later' and the conversations are more real and not flurtatiously prepared' isn't that the way to have a long lasting relationship from brain to brain... then down to images then hormones.

[Shifted]

Tom boys are kinda like shy guys for girls I would imagine it's hard to tell when they like you it's hard to tell when they're joking it's like cheating lol I'd say if you're worried about guys liking you it's probably useless guys tend to at be at least interested in being friends with Tom boys and I'd have to say if you're trying to get a guy to notice you try acting more girl around him like if you flirt do it if not ask how to flirt lol

[reigningblood45]

My gf loves videos games, horror movies, nasty sex, we shop in the same section and its fun cause we like the same stuff, she's loves guy jokes, and many other things. i find that very attractive cause everything we do is fun. i personally think girly girls are annoying.

[Bvroon]

I have always been a sucker for tomboys, in the sense that not only do I seem to find them attractive, they seem to find me attractive as well, which is a huge turn on. As an additional bonus it has been my experience that tomboys are often rather direct, another turn on for me. ;-)

[Worthy]

I think there should be a fine line. I mean a girl can be a girly girl and dress in nice skirts and dresses but she should also know how to get down and dirty and not always be worried that she has makeup on etc.

Its a good combination. A girl should be able to be confident without makeup on.
I dont wear makeup etc when i dont go to work or hang with friends, i just know that when i do get dressed up i look damn fine, so im okay with not looking my best all the time.

[Anonymous]

No.. Not at all. Everybody has their own attractiveness be it a tomboy or a girly girl.
If you are thinking about which one we guys prefer - it matters on the guy
Here's a pointer
It takes a guy less guts to ask a tomboy out than he would need to ask out a girl
It takes hell a lot more to really ask a tomboy out
(again... Not talking about every guy)

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

Thanks

[Anonymous]

People are usually attracted to those of opposite energy. if he is somewhat feminine (not in a blatant obvious way), he will be wildly attracted. Be who you are and it is also okay to embrace your feminine side. This doesn’t mean you have to wear satin and skirts all day, but you are in fact a girl. So, you can still like diatribes and sports AND also know the power of being feminine. Embrace your inner grace.

[Byakuyarko]

that is subjective... For me, there is nothing as orgasmically good as a woman who shares similar interests as you and you... And, I am into all sorts of nerdy primaryly male dominated interests like videogames and comic books... So I guess, by your definition, I find tomboys attractive... Not that I have anything against girly girls (or boys... To each his own. I make no judgement)

[chrisbigman]

As long as you are a girl, you are attractive to me - regardless if you are a tomboy or not.

[chrisbigman]

In fact, I would love to tackle you in some tackle-football.

[ItsBatmanNotBatgirl]

Haha :)

[chrisbigman]

Of course, I'd need to be a bit careful not to kill you. I'm a big man, FYI.