Why don't I Sexualize my Crushes or Girls I like?

[Anonymous]

Let's say I have a crush on a girl, is it weird that I don't think of them in a sexual way?
I imagine myself getting to know them or wish I could spend more time with them etc.

Thinking of having sex with them or any other girl seems degrading treatment to me...

Is that bad?

Updates

+1 y

I am sexually attracted to the person but I don't think of sex... if that makes sense.

[madhatters4]

i completely understand what you are talking about. i'm similar in that i didn't entirely sexualize people I liked. I mean i couldn't help but recognize my sexual attraction to them but I didn't think about sex with them as opposed to how i could get to know them

I think it just shows that you don't see women purely for the sexual being then can be but more the human being they are

[Asker]

Perfect explanation! Thanks!

[Maik567]

Sexuality is a normal part of a relationship, you clearly have a problem with your relationship to sex.

I would never want to date someone who didn't find me sexually attractive.

[Suhmer]

Yes, sex is not degrading. At all. There's nothing wrong with thinking about sex and how sexy and attractive you find a person. Thats part of liking people. Obviously you should focus on getting to know them too, but your view of sex seems too... uptight. Girls like sex you know, and girls like it when you want them sexually. Emotionally too of course but don't think of it so seriously.

[Asker]

No I do find them sexually attractive and when in a relationship I'll act upon those feelings but before I don't. If that makes sense...

[Miyumi]

Don't worry about it, it ain't bad. It's good to get to know them before creating a fantasy about them that won't be representive. It might be bad once you really get close and you don't feel like you ever want to have sex with them. So for now calm down and don't worry, nothing wrong with you. Everyone treats crushes different so there ain't really a good/bad way.

Stay safe!

[Asker]

No when the time comes I'll be able to persue that side of the spectrum but like you said I'd rather get to know them!

[Miyumi]

If that's the case then I guess it's fine. Cause as some others said, most girls will still want sex at a certain point in their relationship. That doesn't mean you should have sex when you don't want to... but it's something to think about.

[Asker]

I suppose but isit bad if you want them for them and not just their body.
Both but mainly the relationship.

[Miyumi]

No I don't think it's "bad" . It's just... everyone has their own preferences. Some people just want sex in relationships and others want a mix, and some don''t want anything to do with relationships. So what I'm trying to say is, do whatever makes you feel comfy.

It's a good thing to first go for them for them and not just their body. But most girls will want sex at a certain point.

I don't know how to properly explain it sorry :(

[melodybluesy]

Because you don't just her as an object, you see her as a person. That's a good thing.

[Griggijoe]

No, it is not bad - if anything, in my experience, it's good :) It means your feelings for them are genuine and a relationship with them will be easier to maintain as you won't be dying for a BJ every two seconds

[Fortres]

It's really really good and something the rest of us need to learn

[PizzaGuy22]

I always wanted to ask this question I just didn't know how to word it

[Anonymous]

No it's just you are a guy and guys think about sex too so you must not be telling us everything lol

[PublicEnemyNumber-1]

So how exactly do they become your crushes then?