Women, would you date a man who earned less than you?

Question

Following on from my other thread about women approaching men for a date, I am curious as to how many women would consider dating a guy who was earning less than themselves. I ask because traditionally men were the chief earners of their households and while more women are taking on that role due to women's lib etc, it still seems that as men we are expected to be good financial providers and women look more towards men who fill this criteria. 

It would help if you could also state your occupation. I wonder if there's a divide between women in lower paying jobs and those in high flying careers? 

Men, how would you feel about a woman being the main bread winner?

singeress · Accepted Answer

I put down other, but mainly as a technicality. Right now, I'm in college so the "broke college student" syndrome has been going around, and everyone is focusing on schoool rather than working. So right no, I would date a guy based on his looks and personality mainly. But I will say, that I prefer to date someone in a high paying major (like mine).

But as soon as I graduate, then I'll be really specific. I want the guy to be able to ake at least as much as I'll be earning in a year. The hard part about that is that pharmacists make $100,000 a year, and I understand that not as many jobs earn that. So, that's why I date other people within my major as an "investment".

I'm not vain, it's just don't waant a lack of income, to be a problem when I get married; I see my parents argue about that a lot. I just don't want my future adoptive kids to have to worry about that. Plus, I don't want to "degrade" my husbands sense of self woth by making more than him, but I would never be ok with "dumbing myself down" in order for us to be on the same level. Dating within majors that match my own potential income, seems like a good way to save time. But later on in life, I wouldn't date someone who made a lower income than me.

aamina_m · Accepted Answer

I earn a very high income, so unless I date someone in my field or someone who has a higher position than me, then there's a very slim chance that I will meet a guy who makes more money than me. Especially at my age, the majority of "successful" men are already taken. So I'm looking at divorcees or other guys I guess... maybe even younger guys.

With that said, I'm willing to date a guy who makes half of my yearly income. Half of my yearly income is still pretty good and means he can at least still support himself. I'm just NOT interested in supporting someone else. If I see a guy can look after himself, and can potentially look after me (you never know what can happen, people do lose their jobs) then I'm okay with that. But if he's leaning on me for support and expects me to support him, then I'm definitely not interested in that. Ambition is very important to me. I don't like laziness, but he doesn't have to earn as much as me...

However from my experience, dating guys who earn less than me doesn't work out. Eventually the men start to get uncomfortable and it bothers THEM. So although it doesn't bother me that doesn't mean I'll have a successful relationship and that it won't be an issue...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

no problem at all, as long as he can carry his own weight and we are able to have outings together it is fine
I make about 84K in an office job and my fiance around 70K as a cook (a year). Before changing workplace he was making even less, just about 60K, so that was a big difference to my number. Regardless, we still live in the same 2 bedroom appartment I had rented by myself before we met. We could easily move into a bigger place, but we rather save the money and have more financial freedom to do stuff. We don't own a car, we use public transport (which is exellent in our city) we each have a Motorcycle/Scooter we use in summer. That's about it. Pretty low key. but we do enjoy the good things a lot. Food, wine, concerts, cinema, weekend getaways and such. He has no issue with this earnings difference either, we have separate back accounts and one joint one for common living expenses. We make monthly deposits into this joint account. We go 50/50 in everything. It keeps things fair and clear.

musicbrain5 · Accepted Answer

I'd have no problem with that at all. However, he should make enough to comfortably support himself and live within his financial means, like I do. I don't want to become his personal ATM. I would help him if he needed a bit of money for rent or something, as long as it didn't become a regular thing every month, or where he's asking me for money all the time for things.

I'm a teacher although I haven't gotten my first full time position yet. I have another job right now. Starting salary is about $50 - $60,000 a year here and I live in an expensive city. I would never expect a guy to carry me financially since I'm more than capable of doing it myself.

PiuBelloAmante · Accepted Answer

These women are liars
i haven't known of a successful or healthy marriage/relationship where the guy earns less...

my ex girlfriends father made around $60,000 a year, her mom made about $140,000 and she treated the fucking guy like garbage sometimes, and her spoiled daughter followed suit...
he felt bad about it too, my girlfriend was a insecure about her dad, and so was her mom!!!
he was the perfect guy! a good hardworking man! i love that guy, i miss him, he loved his family so much. even though they disrespected him. i respected him, he worked just as hard as anyone else!

My brother also had his heart broken after 5 years of dating when he got laid off at a hedge fund, he was making bank, and would treat his girlfriend to dinners, jewlwery, fucking everything it was sickening!
when he got laid off, andd the dinners were less frequent, and she stopped getting what she wanted, she left him... he was unemployed for 4months! 4 freaking months!!! she threw him away, she coudlnt handle helping him out a bit, and paying for dinner

easy to say one thing, when you aren't in that reality!
i have seen that reality! its not nice at all...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

hmmm I dont know where guys get this frear of a woman earning more won't like me. have you ever noticed all the deadbeats who have no job, no car, no ambition and they still manage to even get married and have kids

RJGraveyTrain · Answer

Yes, I have before. My only requirement is that you can contribute. I don't expect you to make more or even as much as me. I don't really give a shit.

XRabbitHeartX · Answer

I don't care if he earns less than me granted he is employed and still doing something with his life. I'm not working yet but graduating at the end of the year in logistics management.

GirlScout · Answer

I already do, my partner supported me when I went back to college so that I could get a better job. Our money goes into one pot so who brings in what really isn't important, and even less so since he supported us both in order for me to get where I am now.

Prettygurl12 · Answer

I wouldn't have an issue with that.

Considering our places in life at the moment, I earn more that my boyfriend. I make in a day what he makes in 2 weeks.

Of course, I am a senior in college with a paid internship that will (fingers crossed) turn into a job (with a raise) upon graduation. My internship is with a PA330 organization (Privatized police).

He is a sophomore in college and works as an RA.

We plan on getting married upon his completion of his undergrad. And for a while, following our marriage, I'll be the breadwinner as he will be continuing his education. With my field of work we won't be living too large. Hopefully comfortably though. Assuming we manage it correctly, my estimated $40-50K/year should be able to support us.

Anonymous · Answer

Most women will say yes. They probably mean it. Two caveats:

1st, girls who are not past about 22-23 don't care about a guy's income. Many of them are still in school, the guys who are going to earn bank are still in school, it's not yet a status marker. By 25? Different story. This site skews young.

2) It's like asking guys 'would you date a woman 3" taller than you'. The answer is probably yes, if she's an amazingly sweet, funny supermodel who is obsessed with sex but never had a boyfriend before now.

Sure, they'll date an amazing guy who earns less then them. Most of us are not that amazing. Most of the time, by mid 20's and onward, earning a lot less than a woman you're interested in, especially if you don't have longer term better prospects, may not be a deal breaker, but it's a big negative. Not insurmountable, and some women it's not a -big- negative.

Sara413 · Answer

I would date/marry a guy who earned less than me, but not one who is incapable or unwilling to contribute meaningfully to the quality of life that I envision for myself and my future.

9mfeo · Answer

Provided that he makes enough money to support himself, yes. I'm not into paying someone else's rent including my own.

MiiraQueeb · Answer

Yes I would.
This isn't going to be one of those stories where this old rich dude got some money, and some slut decides to marry him just for his money, then die, rich dude, I got your money!
No.
Although he makes a little less than me, it's not a big deal.
Well, it sorta matters on his character.
If he's your typical man who decides to not help around, y'know, lazy ass, no.
But if he at least has a great personality, he's a good guy, hasn't been smoking any drugs, didn't kill any men, yeah, totally!
It doesn't matter at that point whether finance counts or not.
Unless you would rather take this relationship more serious, and plan on a wedding, then yes, finances count.

Hope this helped in a way :)

lola2500cobalt · Answer

I would date him, as long as he's one of those exploiters, I wouldn't have a problem with that, my boyfriend now works on his own network operating project, he earns enough for himself, but he sometimes has some financial hardships tho, I'm in business school and probably, I'll earn more than him in the future, but that never came up on my mind as a reason not to date him, plus, I'm not dependent, I'd like my own career and financial life, I get annoyed by just asking my mother to pay for college, which here is a must, I pay like 650$ per year, which is absolutely not much, but I get irritated by just asking.

lumos · Answer

Hard to answer. Right now? Probably, but here's the thing. I earn just enough to get by on my own (with student support money) and if a guy earned less than me, chances are he wouldn't be able to live on his own unless the rent was significantly lower. That's ok I suppose. But in a few years? If we're about to get serious (move in and stuff) then we'd both have to earn a lot more money. The student support thingy I get will only last for as long as I study, which is for another two years if everything goes well. After that, the both of us would be fucked if we didn't earn more money. At that point it would be nice to be with someone who's financially secure. Struggling together could be cute I guess but it could also cause a major strain on the relationship. So I really don't know. If I made enough to support us both I don't think I'd mind, but right now I don't really make a lot to begin with and I'm not sure how that would affect the relationship.

Alexious · Answer

As a guy I literally don't give a shit what my girl earns. More or less, I don't care. I love her for who she is, not her paycheck.

She could scrape shit from toilets for all I care. I'd admire her for her audacity. That's a job no-one wants to do. But, tough times call for tough calls.

She could be a CEO of a organization and I'd admire het for how successful she is.

Love doesn't have a paycheck. ❤💖

archiz · Answer

I can t say I wouldn t date a guy that earns less than me. I mean in today s world I know how hard it is to get a job and be stable.
The problem will be if he doesn t have a degree or isn t hard working and ambitious.
If he does have those qualities, his situation we ll get better in time and he ll be able to support me.
Meanwhile I ll support him. Anw that s one of the reasons women get jobs, putting aside establishing yourself and following your passion, it s also to support your husband and family in case he can t.
I am currently an architecture student but I am lucky enough to have my family s support. When I graduate I am gonna continue working in the family s business. I already have a car and a house so I am already stable thanks for my dad :)
Yet not everyone is lucky enough to have a good backround, and he/she needs type to climb the ladder.

xobrowneyedbeauty · Answer

I would, sure, as long as he still works, has ambition, and is not lazy. It's more about effort and having goals than it is about money. I am still in school right now so currently my income is negative (rackin up that debt) but in 2.5 years (as long as all goes well lol) I will be a doctor

udolipixie · Answer

Women, would you date a man who earned less than you?
B. No

I am interested in an equal earning partner. Plus I find guys tend to get complexes, more sexist, and/or more misogynistic to reaffirm their masculinity. Also I highly doubt a guy would seriously date and commit to a gal if she was less attractive than him. So I see no reason to give guys a break on finances.

Anonymous · Answer

My career is an actuary and we make a lot of money, so It would be kind of hard to find someone who is making the same amount of money or higher if they were not an actuary or in some other line of occupation that is similar, so I would say that I don't care if I date someone who is making less except I would want their career to be something in which they are making a decent amount of money where they can support me if we were to get married and I would have kids and then I would have to be out of work for a while. I would prefer my man to be the breadwinner because I see myself as a stay at home mom some day.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. All I care about is that he's able to provide for himself, and be financially stable and responsible. Actually, if he's around my age, he could still be in school and making very little and that's fine.

I think earning potential is important to consider. Maybe he's living off ramen now, and just barely making ends meet, but in a few years he could be in a better place. My salary's at around 70k right now because I've graduated and decided to work for at least a year before going for graduate studies, but if I were dating a guy who's still in undergrad or a graduate student for instance, I would not expect him to be making what I'm making at the moment.

Anonymous · Answer

I would be okay with it. When I look for a partner, I look for someone who is motivated and wants to join me in accomplishing our goals. So it's important to me that I know he's a hard worker despite being paid less. I wouldn't really be cool with being someone who was okay with working at Wendy's or something for the rest of their lives. But if he's making less and in a job that makes him happy, I don't see anything wrong with it. If we ever had kids it would be a little concerning though because I would probably be staying home with the baby the majority of the time and if I'm not working, the money has to come from somewhere right? In the USA there's no mandatory paid maternity leave whereas in Canada (where I'm from) there is. So there's a lot to think about and it's not just simple.

LittleSally · Answer

If I were rich then yes. Why? Because it's extremely difficult to get a job here.
If I had a normal, steady job, why not?
Makes sense.

I'd date someone just as jobless as me, but when it becomes too real I know I'll have to move to another country to get a job and then it would be over anyways...

becca123 · Answer

As I have gotten "a bit" older, I find that things I thought mattered, don't. As long as he is employed and is responsible with the money he does earn, I'm good.

I make more than a lot of people, it would be silly to have his earnings play any part in my dating decisions.

TheDevilInside · Answer

Fuck traditional values.

I wouldn't want to be the traditional bread winner, but I will still want to date a guy if he earns less than me. If he's otherwise an awesome guy. As of right now, I'm a student and an English teacher.

I'd rather be with a struggling artist or a simple handyman, than being with a company shark who earns his money by selling empty promises and treating the "small" employees badly.

Women, would you date a man who earned less than you?

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