Hi, so I caught my boyfriend lying to me twice already. We've only been dating for 3 months, but we are pretty serious about it. He already lied to me once saying that he wasn't flirting with some girl right before he started dating me (although he did stop talking to her as soon as he started speaking to me.) He said they were always only friends but she showed me messages on her phone and there was definitely something more going on. He's also lied to me about seeing his ex. Or at least he omitted the information. I asked what he did on the weekend (I couldn't see him) and he said nothing important, just some work stuff. However, I saw on her instagram that they had gone together to some park with more people. I don't think these are huge lies and I don't want to make a big fuss about it, but I also don't feel like confronting him about them because I don't want to be that type of paranoid super-controlling girlfriend. I just want to know if I should worry about this; if this means I shouldn't trust him and maybe take things more slow. I don't want to be played, but I also don't want to get crazy about this. What do you think?
Most Helpful Guy
Lying is lying whether it's big or small. If you feel he should have told you the truth in both those situations then he really did lie which means he was keeping something from you that he didn't want you to know about. That's not a good sign for a relatively new relationship. But if the two of you are pretty serious about dating like you said, you don't have to dump him right yet especially if it'd really hurt you to do that. Go ahead and date like you've been but pay special attention to anything that comes up again where you think he might be lying and then check it out. You may find he never lies to you again. But if you do and have good proof, confront him more on what he did without disclosing how you found out. See how much he changes his story around or actually fesses up to you. If he changed his story around or sticks by his lie, just ask him why he lied to you because you know there was a reason. If you don't like his explanation then even if it hurts you need to dump him. You can't go on together no matter how much fun you have with you're together. Having a boyfriend that does things behind your back isn't the kind of guy you need in your life. He'll only bring you trouble that will get worst and make your life more miserable. As hard as it may be, for your own sanity and self-respect, you'll need to say good bye to him. Maybe he'll apologize to you and ask your pardon and you may want to give him one more chance. If you don't part on fighting terms you may have a chance to start dating again... if that's what you want.3
Most Helpful Girl
That may not be a huge lie to you (to me it actually is) . But huge lie or not, what you are getting are large red flags. You guys are just starting off and look at what is taking place. Would you expect things to get better or worst, when he seems to think that lying is okay. Plus even worse than lying he is actually hanging out with his ex. I understand what you mean you do not want to seem like a crazy girlfriend, but just because your relationship is new does not mean you deserve even that.
I mean I totally understand the relationship is new and you don't want to get confrontational. But what you should be doing, if you haven't already is talk gently about how it makes you feel. You have the red flags in front of your face, pay attention to them. By the photos you can tell something more is going on.
You don't have to go crazy on him, but on one hand there has to be more respect for you being his girlfriend and you have to try to command that somehow.2