I caught a guy I’ve been talking to lying about something. Should I confront him or leave it alone?

[Anonymous]

This guy I have been dating (casually) for 2 years stopped talking to be for a couple of months which is kind of normal. When he reached out again he told me about another girl he has been seeing who he ended things with cause he wasn’t that into her.

I was annoyed but okay since he was always honest with me. I saw him 2 weekends ago and his birthday was this last weekend. he went on vacation and I found out through Venmo that she was on the trip as well.

when I asked him about her last week in person he told me he hasn’t spoken to her since they stopped taking. I even asked who he was going on the trip with and he said his cousin (who was also there but still)

should I call him out? Should I wait for him to bring something up? Should I wait till I see him in person?

He has always said he doesn’t want to/wouldn’t lie to me and he lied which is what’s making me mad. I didn’t care the first time he told me about her but why lie when I already know about her.

Updates

1 y

Also, I don’t even know how I would explain I know 😣

[ShellyB]

I am a little bit torn. On one hand, if you don't ask him he can't answer, it is possible there is some explanation or that the discussion could have some sort of good result, and you would at least feel like you were fair.

On the other hand since you prob. don't want to say you were snooping on Venmo it could be an awkward conversation, and to be honest the odds are just that he's lying and there is not a good explanation so it might be a lot of trouble for no benefit.

I think I'd probably just move on and be minimally polite to him nothing else, but, I think it is a close call. Sorry if that is not helpful! JMO.

[Asker]

Thank you! I know, super weird situation 😣

[Anonymous]

What’s it even matter? Two years on and off dealing with each other is not dating, it’s a situationship and a silly one at that. No offense. He doesn’t owe you his honestly and may not even care to do so because he can lie about it to your face and you always take him back, so what’s the point. You’re mad for nothing since he’s doing what single men do. Maybe you should establish something or do the hard thing and cut him off for good. But if you’re gonna keep going through this then you may as well stop caring about other women, he isn’t your man.

[Anonymous]

I hate liars. But one thing I learned long ago if you called a woman on every lie she told you be grilling her 24/7. You just have to let some things slide.

Common sense applies on this girl. If you want to be in a relationship you have to trust. If he/she Constantly causes you to question that trust then you need to ask yourself if you're with the right person.

[Anonymous]

How does Venmo prove that she was there? They could have made plans in advance and then called it off after a break up.

[Opinion Owner]

What charges did you see on Venmo and how do you have access to his Venmo?

[Asker]

I saw her name and also videos they both took in the same place

[Guy13]

I wouldn’t be having sec with him now. Lying 🤥 and who knows what else.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Just drop him. Don't tell a cheater that he was caught because he'll just try to hide it better in the future. Just leave him, or better yet, string him along for a few more months so you can find out his deepest insecurities and fears and while you're in the middle of a date, just sigh and say "I can't do this anymore. I keep trying but I can't do it. I can't date you. You're just so..." and then list off everything he's afraid of being called. Find out what he prides himself on and humble him a little, make him believe he's a piece of shit and you've been dating him because you pitied him more than anything.
Traumatize him back lol

[Billboshaggens]

He's probably lying because he think's you don't consider the relationship casual and he does. If y'all established a casual relationship then he hasn't done anything wrong except tell a lie to spare your feelings. If you talk about it with him you might reestablish what the parameters of your relationship are. And if y'all ain't in a casual relationship, drop him. But your 30 what the fuck are you doing fucking around with fuck boys?

[Asker]

Lol there’s fuckboys at all ages. Y’all don’t ever grow up

[Razp_Sorbet]

Sounds like you gotta stop wasting your time on him. It's not normal to just stop talking to someone you like for months. You're wasting your time on someone who doesn't care about you.

[TheMoreMiffed]

If a man has started to lie, get out of there.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Call him out and see how he reacts. Red flags, but you'll get more confirmation from his reaction.

[CallmeTheKnight]

He's not your boyfriend, so no. Leave it be. The both of you are casual