Are Plenty of Fish and Tinder just hook-up sites now, or do guys actually use them for dating?

Question

I'm using both Tinder and Plenty of Fish to try and rectify my current (and extremely long term) single status... but I'm starting to think I've got the wrong end of the stick with them... are they just for hook ups now, or do guys still use them for actual genuine dating?

Answer 1

MrOwens

Xper 4

I have used pof and okcupid and I have had conversations. Met a few women who lied about who they were and their appearance. The free sites I also found are full of liars and narcissist. Or women with fake profiles catfishing men and trying to get free dinner and money out of them. I have met some women that would never be satisfied even if you were the cover of GQ magazine and had billions. They would complain if their ice cream were too cold. Is it a hook up site? Yes. It is the perfect narcissistic playground with the 2% actually being a real person or actual true intentions. Tender is the same way. I have been on all three since last year. Have had little over a dozen of dates with less than expected out comes that involves drama queens, mommy and daddy issues, can't get over the ex, or hell bent on abuse from their past. I have made no real connection with anyone I have met in person or chatting with them.

Answer 2

CyberToothTiger

Xper 7

Yeah lot of them sites, people are
1.) Looking for Hook ups

2.) Are gold diggers

3.) They can be catfish

4.) Some of them are people
with serious mental health illnesses

5.) I would say 10 % are looking for
real love.

Lioness_81

+1 y
Bugger 😩😞 thanks
CyberToothTiger

+1 y
You're welcome :))

Answer 3

Lioness_81

Bugger 😩😞 thanks

Answer 4

CyberToothTiger

You're welcome :))

Answer 5

Kalibie | 68 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

Okc is the best. Men who take time to fill out their profiles are more genuine and you have the most info on a guy if they answer the sites questions. Best dates were with okc men for me as an intellectual. (Seems to attract more nerds) met my boyfriend of two years here.

Pof men have been trashier and red necky in my experience though I've had good enough dates.

Tinder is great for hookups and it's really just like going to a bar. He might want a relationship but probably not. I've had wonderful dates on tinder too but all short term.

Answer 6

Brokenheartedx | 84 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

some guys are genuine and others are a joke.. mostly married men hiding...
Got talking to the genuine guys and they get it tight as well, ask them they'll tell you about girls wantin money for phone top ups to other people or men pretending to be women.. so most genuine guys give up.. plus they get ignored

I gave up knew a guy on it that was only messaging me to remind me I was a fat ugly old cow with baggage.. yup activity sought me out to call me names.. sad for any guys that was interested in me

Answer 7

BrittBratt2416 | 1.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

They are dating sites but you have to careful, some people only use them just to look around for an easy hook up and are not serious about about finding a relationship. Their are people who do want to find someone you just have to weed through them. Honestly, an this is just my opinion, I would stay away from dating, I've heard so many bad experiences.. to the point to me people these days aren't serious about finding a relationship with online dating.

VerbalWN

+1 y
Really!!! Cause I've yet to find a woman on Tinder or POF. That has not put "Not here for Hook Ups".

Answer 8

VerbalWN

Really!!! Cause I've yet to find a woman on Tinder or POF. That has not put "Not here for Hook Ups".

Answer 9

XRabbitHeartX | 2.7K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Influencer

1 year with my boyfriend I met on Tinder. Best decision of my life to join Tinder. I'm happier than ever with the best boyfriend I've ever had or could even dream of..

Answer 10

godfatherfan | 951 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Why would anyone call either a "hook up site"? I think that is hillarious. You never hear bars being called that. Even though that is all they are. No guy I have ever known would think about getting seriuous with any woman he met in a bar. I use POF and Tinder. I have never had a "hookup" once. The only way I can date is online so I am glad it is there. The people that don't understand online dating are typically, people who don't understand computers. It is hard to believe that anyone under 35 would even have that issue.

Kkaos

+1 y
I get sick of hearing people talk about them being only for hookups. They simple allow you to meet people you're attracted to, that is all they do.. What people choose to do with that is up to them.

Answer 11

Kkaos

I get sick of hearing people talk about them being only for hookups. They simple allow you to meet people you're attracted to, that is all they do.. What people choose to do with that is up to them.

Answer 12

Rawrzz

Yoda

Probably. I don't have any experience with Tinder or POF, but it seems everyone always says Tinder is a hookup app and nothing more. If you're looking for a serious relationship, then use a paid service like e-harmony or something. Only serious people would pay. And they have requirements.

Answer 13

sunshinechyk | 111 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 5

I am currently on POF and am having no luck whatsoever. I have gotten a lot of emails from guys just looking to hook up. The guys who seem decent don't email back. Not sure why. I am decent looking and certainly not crazy. I have my shit together. I feel like a lot of guys just like to look for whatever reason. Thinking of joining Match. I figure people who pay for the service are the ones who are serious about meeting someone.

Answer 14

LibraLady1989

Xper 6

It depends on the person but a lot of people are not who they say they are online. Also there's are lots of crazies and psychos out there. A lot of guys these days like to use girls as well.

But I think know a few people who have been successful and found the one online, so it reall depends on the person and on how u go about it as well

Answer 15

Valentinasab

Xper 6

I've tried Tinder before and wasn't very successful on there. I chatted with a few guys on there and decided to meet up with a couple of them. They just came across as wanting one thing. I might have just been unlucky of course. It could be that some guys are actually looking for a serious relationship on Tinder. My advice would be to take things slow and look at the guy's actions.

Answer 16

Anonymous

What about your guy friends? Trust me there's a guy who likes you and you either can't see it or know and are not thinking about it.

A sweet friend is better for a hookup, or relationship.

Can u help me on a question? It might help you decide www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2182612-how-d-a-woman-act-around-these-guys-do-they-allow-some-men-to-get

Lioness_81

+1 y
I'm not looking for a hook up... and I don't have many friends, male or female, and none in real life, only text friends. Which is the problem!!
Opinion Owner

+1 y
That's fine, you can still have a relationship though right? Try those text friends then. Trust me a guy who spends time texting you likes you. No guy texts you that much otherwise. Do you think he sits there texting his male friends?

Also can u help me on my question
Lioness_81

+1 y
I don't fancy either of my guy friends, and they know that... and I'd hardly call a couple texts a month "that much" 😞

I've read it, and I have no idea... that's very specific and no one can answer what one specific person would do in those situations!
Show All Show Less
Opinion Owner

+1 y
Yeah in that case, I mean try to go to a group hangout and see if you go to more mutual parties you meet people. Or else give those apps a whirl, but they're more hookup. Otherwise try huggle or something.

As for my question, I'd appreciate a look please. Any hypothetical answer. I've provided a readable description and once you answer it in bullet points/each part separately it makes sense. Give it a whirl

Answer 17

Lioness_81

I'm not looking for a hook up... and I don't have many friends, male or female, and none in real life, only text friends. Which is the problem!!

Answer 18

Opinion Owner

That's fine, you can still have a relationship though right? Try those text friends then. Trust me a guy who spends time texting you likes you. No guy texts you that much otherwise. Do you think he sits there texting his male friends?

Also can u help me on my question

Answer 19

Lioness_81

I don't fancy either of my guy friends, and they know that... and I'd hardly call a couple texts a month "that much" 😞

I've read it, and I have no idea... that's very specific and no one can answer what one specific person would do in those situations!

Answer 20

Opinion Owner

Yeah in that case, I mean try to go to a group hangout and see if you go to more mutual parties you meet people. Or else give those apps a whirl, but they're more hookup. Otherwise try huggle or something.

As for my question, I'd appreciate a look please. Any hypothetical answer. I've provided a readable description and once you answer it in bullet points/each part separately it makes sense. Give it a whirl

Answer 21

A-mac

Xper 5

When I used Tinder, I did just for hook ups (I got out of a long term relationship just before a ring was purchased). However, I've been seeing the same guy for over a month now (Tinder guy) and want to continue. It's a better app for hook ups, but if you want more than that, be clear to whoever you're matched with.

Answer 22

charlie_boy

Xper 2

Sadly from what I can ascertain, I believe both are used for casual hookups. It works both ways though, because when I was on tinder I would come across absolute skanks or some girls who were single parents, unstable or men haters.

I know men give those sites a bad name, because I was on them because I wanted a genuine relationship and had little luck.

I've broken away from dating websites now, and i'm taking a breather just to be me and enjoy my own life.

Good luck in your search Lioness :-)

Answer 23

Anonymous

I stopped using them because there are loads of inactive accounts left up as people join for the trial and never pay or renew their membership and never delete their account so there's more inactive people on the site than active. Also lets be honest if you do manage to find a woman to date then your likely to be really scraping the barrel as a good woman would be snapped up without the need for a dating website. The only women that use dating websites are the mopeds and the promiscuous types with TCS. Guys would be better looking for good women at church and charity events.

Answer 24

Thrifty | 451 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

If I wanted to date you then I would rather know you from an organic interest and like you for your soul rather than how good your tinder profile pic looks.

No one wants to date using social media. I only use tinder as a free hook up potential site and if I fail then I move onto sugar baby sites.

Kkaos

+1 y
That doesn't make sense. No one is deciding to date someone based on how good their tinder pics are. You see their pictures, which tells you what they look like, decide if you'd like to get to know them better based on that, swipe right, if they're interested too, you get a match, you talk to them, get to know them briefly, go out on a date and if you like each other you continue going out just like any other couple. Not that complicated, I've done this many times.
Thrifty

+1 y
@Kkaos Ok but I am not afraid of rejection when I talk to a person I see in person and public.

Answer 25

Kkaos

That doesn't make sense. No one is deciding to date someone based on how good their tinder pics are. You see their pictures, which tells you what they look like, decide if you'd like to get to know them better based on that, swipe right, if they're interested too, you get a match, you talk to them, get to know them briefly, go out on a date and if you like each other you continue going out just like any other couple. Not that complicated, I've done this many times.

Answer 26

Thrifty

@Kkaos Ok but I am not afraid of rejection when I talk to a person I see in person and public.

Answer 27

RationalMale | 969 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Hard to know in your age group.
I tried POF but gave up... it seems to just be single moms and overweight women.

Tinder is okay. I've used it with some success--I think the main problem is the format encourages you to be OCD and just click to the next person available.

OkCupid I've had better luck with.

Answer 28

Anonymous

Going to be completely honest

1. Most men (95%) who are on tinder want sex initially. This is their intention

2. When they meet a girl that intention can change if they find out they really like her as a person and think she is cool. In that case the desire for sex changes to a desire in wanting a relationship.

So for girls who are looking for relationship. Use your personality and go out on dates before knocking boots.

Answer 29

Anonymous

Mostly hooking up but I have a friend who's in a 2 year relationship with his girlfriend at the moment and they met on Tinder. I suggest putting something like "looking for the one" in your description bar. Something like that, so that it wards away hook up people and attracts people who want something serious.

Answer 30

Anonymous

I tried to use Plenty of Fish for two years to find an actual relationship, but almost all of the women I encountered on there just wanted a hook up, so I never ended up meeting anyone from there and deleted my account.
The two that I met that did want a relationship and we had enough in common lived too far away.

Answer 31

GingerGuy | 4K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

In my opinion nobody takes online dating sites seriously at all. I've been on several (not Tinder though) and have had little to no luck. Nothing serious has ever come from them. Having said that though, yes there are guys on there genuinely looking for dating (I was). How you'd tell that though from an online site I don't know? I think all women just assume all guys on there are just looking for hookups?

Answer 32

Notorisch_Arschloch | 151 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

For women of relevant age, yeah. But your age? That's for pump and dump, and then only for guys with no standards.

Bbboorriinnngggg

+1 y
"pump and dump" lmao, I love you
Lioness_81

+1 y
I'm 3 years older than you. What has my age got to do with it?

Answer 33

Bbboorriinnngggg

"pump and dump" lmao, I love you

Answer 34

Lioness_81

I'm 3 years older than you. What has my age got to do with it?

Answer 35

vonasaurus | 540 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

i have a guy friend who met his fiancee on pof; they've been together for almost 3 years and got engaged last Christmas. but that's just one story~ i'm sure there are equal parts both.

Answer 36

underconstuxion206 | 359 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

Pof and tinder are the like bars of the online dating scene, yes you may find a guy that actually is looking for a date, but more often than not, you meet someone who just wants to hookup.

Answer 37

JohnDoe3000 | 1.5K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

I don't know about PoF (other than that it has a shitty reputation as the place where all the freaks go). Relationships do start on tinder sometimes but it's a bad place to look for love for a lot of reasons.

Answer 38

normalice | 1.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

i'm going to say 90% of the entire internet is guys looking for hookups. This is true of dating sites as well. Just gotta sift through it..

MysteriousDarkness

+1 y
@normalmice Does that include the 99.97% of the internet know as the dark net and deep web?
normalice

+1 y
@MysteriousDarkness when you say "known"...
MysteriousDarkness

+1 y
@normalice what do you mean?
Show All Show Less
normalice

+1 y
@MysteriousDarkness i'm saying it's the first I've heard of it. Probably be the last, as well..

Answer 39

MysteriousDarkness

@normalmice Does that include the 99.97% of the internet know as the dark net and deep web?

Answer 40

normalice

@MysteriousDarkness when you say "known"...

Answer 41

MysteriousDarkness

@normalice what do you mean?

Answer 42

normalice

@MysteriousDarkness i'm saying it's the first I've heard of it. Probably be the last, as well..

Answer 43

Weirdlybeauty

Xper 6

Tinder is known as just hookup and I used pof to find my boyfriend. It shows people intention of there like to be married or casual dating

Answer 44

Anonymous

I've used POF, Tinder, OkCupid, and Happn. Met a lot of women off those sites (happn being the least).

While I've had plenty of dates, hookups and a few flings, I still have yet to find a real relationship. Only times the girl wanted to keep seeing me was either a catfish or super clingy. Then the times where I thought the interest was mutual, I was just a rebound to them.

Good to know I'm not the only one but I think online dating has made shit worse than it has helped.

Kkaos

+1 y
Catfish.. What do you mean, lol? I swear everyone uses this term incorrectly. If she wanted to keep seeing you again then she couldn't have possibly been a catfish as a catfish will never want to meet with you in person considering they're not who they say they are.
Opinion Owner

+1 y
@Kkaos catfish can be just using misleading pictures to lure someone in. I've never had a person pretend to be another person but I've had plenty of times where a girl misrepresented her appearance and it made it super awkward to meet in person.

Answer 45

Kkaos

Catfish.. What do you mean, lol? I swear everyone uses this term incorrectly. If she wanted to keep seeing you again then she couldn't have possibly been a catfish as a catfish will never want to meet with you in person considering they're not who they say they are.

Answer 46

Opinion Owner

@Kkaos catfish can be just using misleading pictures to lure someone in. I've never had a person pretend to be another person but I've had plenty of times where a girl misrepresented her appearance and it made it super awkward to meet in person.

Answer 47

mits777 | 120 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 5

To be honest most guys use it to find girls that want any kind of relationships be it friends with benefits, relationship hook up ons whatever. It is not easy for guys finding girls like it is for girls finding guys. All my male friends are happy when some girl evenresponsds to their messages and they are fine with whatever the girl wants in terms of relationship type

Answer 48

MadeInAmerica

Guru

I don't really think either of them were ever for genuine dating.

Answer 49

ryanrhino | 79 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

I sure hope not. My wife and I met on plentyoffish and it worked as a connecting point for us!

Answer 50

doctorwhofan23 | 371 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Actually I am curious since I am I kind of am considering online dating.

Answer 51

Anonymous

PoF is full of crazy people, myself included... Most people there seem to be 100% sane via texting, but when you meet them in real life, you realise why they're still single.

Answer 52

skykid1992

Xper 6

i use them too make new friends not date or hook up

Answer 53

Anonymous

I tried. I got fed up of writing hundreds of messages - not the same generic shit either, I read their profiles and wrote something personal each time - and getting zero replies. Not even the courtesy of "Sorry, I'm not interested" or "Fuck off ugly". Just nothing.

If that's the way girls want to act on there then I'm not surprised they can't find what they're looking for. They probably just deleted Mr. Right's message without bothering to read it.

Answer 54

spannerotoole

Xper 5

The majority of guys on these websites are not serious. Meeting people online is a bad idea because people can lie online.

Kkaos

+1 y
Much more difficult to lie with Tinder, it's connected to your facebook. However there's really nothing to worry about. Meet in a public place.
spannerotoole

+1 y
@Kkaos its possible to have a fake fb account.

Answer 55

Kkaos

Much more difficult to lie with Tinder, it's connected to your facebook. However there's really nothing to worry about. Meet in a public place.

Answer 56

spannerotoole

@Kkaos its possible to have a fake fb account.

Answer 57

GoldCobra | 864 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

I use them. I hold faith that I could find a girl on there not just for hookup.

Answer 58

realityphil

Xper 5

POF and Tinder are online versions of clubbing - a place for women and attractive guys to hook up.

If you're looking for a girlfriend and if she has one of these installed, run for the hills.

Answer 59

AtomicCheesing | 486 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

I met my girlfriend on Pof. Her profile included her vision of her ideal future.

Answer 60

Anonymous

I've Tried both... and I am using POF again. Reactivated it yesterday. HOWEVER... no matter how hard I try to get to know a woman and be honest with her... IGNORED! So... It's a losing game for men who actually want something.

Answer 61

Grumps

Xper 3

i only get nasty fat chicks that message me.

in real life i can get 7s and 8s but online its degrading these chicks think they can have a chance. with all due humility of course

Answer 62

Anonymous

it's what you make of it. There are people on those sites with a variety of different intentions.

Answer 63

ACrazyHaggis | 103 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

i have not used them before bt i even know they are mainly or hook up

Answer 64

red324 | 370 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

I seem to have better luck finding girls on tinder than pof. I don't do hookups so if they want that they can hit the road with their skanky ass.

Kkaos

+1 y
Lol @ the pink downvote
red324

+1 y
@Kkaos You can't please them all. lol

Answer 65

Kkaos

Lol @ the pink downvote

Answer 66

red324

@Kkaos You can't please them all. lol

Answer 67

MaLifeBeLikeOooAaah

Xper 7

Well it depends, you get a lot of guys on tinder looking for a relationship, but a lot of Fuckboys. Genuinely it's the latter

Answer 68

TheFlak38 | 2.3K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

It doesn't matter for what they are since women don't reply to any suggestions, hook ups or dates.

Answer 69

Vostock

Xper 4

I used them for dating but no one I messaged ever messaged me back.

Answer 70

Words_and_Wisdom | 1.7K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

Tinder was never a dating site. It's always been a hookup site.

Kkaos

+1 y
It can be whatever you want it to be. It simply connects people who find each other attractive, whether they choose to hookup or date or whatever is completely up to them, just like any other 2 people who meet each other.

Answer 71

Kkaos

It can be whatever you want it to be. It simply connects people who find each other attractive, whether they choose to hookup or date or whatever is completely up to them, just like any other 2 people who meet each other.

Answer 72

blackeagle007 | 167 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 7

They both suck. Guys like me are looking for relationships but never get responses to messages.

WBOTB

+1 y
What do you write when you message them? Do you keep it short and sweet?
blackeagle007

+1 y
@WBOTB
Pretty much. Sometimes I'll comment on something they wrote in their profile. Other than that, I dunno what to say. Lol
WBOTB

+1 y
That's sounds good. It's better than just "hi" and as long as you haven't written them a novel, your fine. Sometimes girls get tons of messages and get overwhelmed and wind up not even looking and some.

Answer 73

WBOTB

What do you write when you message them? Do you keep it short and sweet?

Answer 74

blackeagle007

@WBOTB
Pretty much. Sometimes I'll comment on something they wrote in their profile. Other than that, I dunno what to say. Lol

Answer 75

WBOTB

That's sounds good. It's better than just "hi" and as long as you haven't written them a novel, your fine. Sometimes girls get tons of messages and get overwhelmed and wind up not even looking and some.