How do you confront a guy about his intentions with you?

[Anonymous]

I like honesty above everything, but I notice guys still lie even when I tell them they never need to. Why? And how do I confront a guy about his intentions/feelings about me without seeming like I'm desperate or crazy? I know guys get scared when a girl is straight up, but I'm one of those people that need a black and white "yes or no" answer so I can decide what I'm gonna do. There have been so many relationships where I wanted to be friends with the guy but he would always fuck it up because they would lie about problems, making it harder to find a solution. So how can I approach the situation more gently so their "big balls" won't shrink when I ask?

[EchoOfLife]

Firstly, you have to address it calmly, to the point, and delicately. You also have to make sure your in a position where saying this doesn't come across as awkward or where you don't know them enough for it to be valid. If you want to be friends with them, gently tell them, that thats what you want. If you want a relationship, tell them how you feel, but judge their emotions and reactions carefully, to assure they aren't just going along with it to fuck.

I don't think guys get "scared" I think its more of sometimes girls rush the process along. Not necessarily a bad thing, because you want to know what your getting yourself into, but if you go on one date with a guy, and he asks you to marry him wouldn't you be a little put off? Wait for the right time, the right moment, and knowing the person enough, THEN ask where they stand, and just be straight to the point, but nicely and calm as you can.

[Asker]

That was very helpful, thank you! I gotta ask you something. Would a guy drop a girl after he kisses her?

[EchoOfLife]

Would a guy? Well, don't really know, depends on the guy and his motives, how your relationship is after that, so on. I mean, he may kiss you, not feel the spark, and break up. Then again, he may kiss you, and feel a spark, and end up marrying you. So, could he drop a girl after a kiss? Sure he could. Would he? Depends on the person, and like I said, how the current relationship is going.

[Asker]

But if a guy's full intention was to sleep with a girl, would he drop her after a kiss?

[EchoOfLife]

If his full intention was to sleep with a girl, then no, he wouldn't drop after a kiss. He wants a the whole pie. However, he may drop her after is she refuses to have sex after a kiss, or says she wants a relationship (longterm) or she's waiting until marriage etc.

[Asker]

Huh. That actually answered my question perfectly. Thank you (:

[EchoOfLife]

Anytime :) Best of luck, and hope all goes well

[SteelerNation50]

I think part of your problem is guys are always watching for "tests" now. Saying "I'm fine with a casual relationship" screams test so even if it's what the guy wants he won't say that. Other guys can be insecure and they just want to tell you what they think you want to hear so you're happy. Confronting a guy about his intentions and getting a straight answer is going to be hard and there aren't any universal answers.

[Asker]

Well damn, so I'm fucked either way?

[SteelerNation50]

When confronting someone about their intentions pretty much. There are the few rare guys who will be straight up about exactly what they want.

[Anonymous]

I don't know anymore. I've tried to be friends with guy and failed miserably. I've tried approaching nicely and not trying to come off as weird or desperate. I tried telling him I've wanted to get to know him but no response. So I don't know

[Asker]

Damn, I feel your pain. Honestly, most of the guys I know are power tripping

[Opinion Owner]

That okay. Him and his girl are public now or whatever... I guess that means he's not "allowed" to have "girl" friends I don't know... but wudduino

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks. I wish you luck.
I'm personally done.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, but women do the same stuff and won't be up front.
I'm honest when in a relationship, and I like honest straight up answers too. How can anyone know where they really stand in a relationship when people won't tell the truth. Good luck finding an honest person though.

[Asker]

Thanks, I'm fine being alone, I don't mind casual relationships, but even when I tell the guy I don't mind if things were casual, he'll still lie and say he wants a relationship with me only to break it off by kissing another girl. I don't get how someone feels the impulse to lie even when it is unnecessary. But thanks (:

[Pearl85]

Unfortunately it's never that simple

[ThickD]

im very honest