Girls, would you date a guy who doesn't like PDA (public display of affection)?

[Flow_like_the_wind]

Yes

No

Maybe

[samhradh_leannan]

Maybe. It depends on what you mean by PDA. I'm totally okay with not shoving my tongue down your throat in public. But if a guy won't hold my hand while we walk down the street, put his arm around me at the movies, or give me at least a small kiss if we're saying goodbye in public, then that's going to be a major bummer for me. I'm a very affectionate person and I like to express that physically. I want to behave appropriately for the setting, but small acts of physical affection allow me to feel close to someone. Without that, I'd definitely feel like I was missing out. It wouldn't necessarily be a total dealbreaker, if the relationship was great otherwise, but it's definitely something I would miss.

[Flow_like_the_wind]

I mean he could still be an affectionate guy but he just doesn't like to do any of that stuff publicly. Or at least when there's a bunch of people around I should say.

[samhradh_leannan]

I mean... my original response still stands. Inappropriate behavior is one thing- I don't need to full on make out in public. But absolutely no PDA, no hand holding, hugs, or small touches? That would definitely be a bummer for me. Again, not necessarily a total deal breaker, but definitely a drawback.

[COCOCHANEL]

most guys are like that here

[Flow_like_the_wind]

In Japan?

[COCOCHANEL]

yeah

[Flow_like_the_wind]

Is it a culture thing?

[COCOCHANEL]

yeah and i'm ok with it but sometimes want to force it on them

[Flow_like_the_wind]

Force? Well, if he's the submissive type I'm sure he'd like it haha.

[COCOCHANEL]

it's hard to find submissive men here

[Flow_like_the_wind]

Really? Maybe I've been watching too much anime over the years lol. I've also read somewhere that many Japanese women find Japanese men too feminine, it might of been bs though. If only I could remember where I saw it I'd link it to you.

[Flow_like_the_wind]

Or you know, maybe I'm thinking of the younger men instead of the older men.

[COCOCHANEL]

i only know about men my age and younger

[Flow_like_the_wind]

Oh I see. Well do you like them dominant or it doesn't matter?

[COCOCHANEL]

i don't care too much but i like to play with them

[Flow_like_the_wind]

Interesting, play with them how? Just curious.

[COCOCHANEL]

tease and torment

[Flow_like_the_wind]

Tease and torment because... are you a dom yourself? Or do you just want to provoke him so he takes control? Because I know for many women they like to do that to the guy either because she's a dominatrix or more commonly she enjoys the guy grabbing her and taking what he wants.

[COCOCHANEL]

i'm a switch

[Flow_like_the_wind]

I am too actually. But uh, Which one turns you on more? Does any excite you more than the other or do you like being a sub and dom equally?

[COCOCHANEL]

i prefer the man to be in control during sex. in fact there's no other way to have sex that i know of. i like to watch him.

[Flow_like_the_wind]

Yeah most girls typically would prefer the guy to be in control. Do you like the slow and passionate kind of sex or the rough and animalistic side? Or both.

[COCOCHANEL]

both

[Flow_like_the_wind]

Nice. I do too. At certain times.

[COCOCHANEL]

kiss-my.biz/.../IMG_2676.jpg

[Flow_like_the_wind]

www.japanesepod101.com/.../...09_jpod101_image.jpg

[Derpyy]

I wouldn't mind it for dating. But I wouldn't actually get with someone not into it, and I'd tell them that upfront. I don't think it should be something that is moderated all the time. If you feel something, express it, no matter what. Obviously, there are some places you REALLY shouldn't do it, but I can't think of many.

Anyways, I am a pretty affectionate person. Sometimes my guy will be talking very seriously about something to me and I'll suddenly think, "Hm, this is really bothering him. There's that little vein on his forehead popping out... I MUST KISS IT FOR IT WILL MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER." So I do, no matter where we are, and it works.

Him: *laughs at how abruptly I just attacked his face with love* "What the hell?"

Me: *shrugs* "I felt a burst of love for you and I couldn't/didn't want to contain it."

[mooky06]

Maybe. I'd like to be holding hands at the very least, or even a peck on the lip or cheeks. We don't need to be extreme and have each other's tongues in each other's mouth lol (like come on) but if he was alright with holding hands and giving a peck on the lips or cheeks, then they'll be cool

[Flow_like_the_wind]

Holding hands isn't bad lol.

[mooky06]

Yeah it ain't bad lol

[Flow_like_the_wind]

Also tight hugs, they feel good lol.

[lovydoey]

Aaaah! Idk! I'm very affectionate. I touch without knowing it. Like when I'm with my friends and I laugh I tend to touch their arm. Now imagine with a boyfriend, I will want to hug him, and kiss him. But I will understand if he doesn't feel comfortable with it. I will try to at least do it once a while. Jeje

[Flow_like_the_wind]

Hugging and holding hands isn't bad lol.

[FuryOfTheDragon]

Omg i dont like it either. I got really annoyed when im talking to my friends which those two date (used to) and i would turn around and theyd be snogging.

Im also not one for cuddling or hand holding, kissing peopke in public. And im also Autistic so that might be a thing with my fellow people.

[Flow_like_the_wind]

So am I.

[vishna]

Yes, because I'm not super into pda either (definitely not kissing and groping) but I do like holding hands and placing my arm in his so... it would be something to lose there, but if he was a good guy and wasn't mean about 'correcting' me if I slipped and did it, then yes, I could date him.

[Maypai]

It honestly depends. If he doesn't like PDA but does it to make me happy then, yes I could date him.

If he doesn't like PDA and REFUSES at all cost to hold my hand out in public or whatever then it would be a little hard, but I'm sure that isn't a deal breaker.

[AriadneSky]

aslo as he respects and likes affection i dont care if its private. though it makes me uncomfortable when people start to micromanage thins im tying to learn to be more connected with instead of intellectualizing so I don't know we might not work. but id give him a try.

[Anonymous]

Yes! That would be the best! I don't like that either, so that'd fit me perfectly. The ideal would be to just keep it a secret. Is that weird? Then it would just be us. We wouldn't have to worry about anyone else. But to answer your question; Yes, I'd love to not show off in public. I realize this was posted two days ago, but who cares xD

[Anonymous]

I would probably give it a try, but I can't see it working out.

I'm a passionate and affectionate person, and if I'm into someone I like to kiss them and touch them a lot. I'd be a bit offended if he didn't want me to do it in public, or if he didn't do it back, even if he did have his reasons it would still sting a bit.

[IvoirianGirl20]

That is why couples don't last these days. Everyone want to do all of it in a rush

[Opinion Owner]

@IvoirianGirl20 I never said I was in a rush. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect some affection from a boyfriend. If you're not into PDA that's fine, but no need to criticise others for merely disagreeing with you.

[IvoirianGirl20]

I was talking in general not about you specifically. No need to get sensitive but that is something I've noticed a lot

[Opinion Owner]

@IvoirianGirl20 I'm not really that sensitive, but I do get tired of talking to people on here, as so many just seem to want to argue. It gets a bit annoying when you're just trying to answer the OP.

[IvoirianGirl20]

Who said I wanted to argue? Please don't put me in a box. I just wanted to share my perspective because I think it's a interesting converstation to have

[IvoirianGirl20]

Oh and you are not in your room there. When you give opinions, expect people to reply to you 😉✌

[Opinion Owner]

@IvoirianGirl20 Oh well if you're not trying to argue (and you do seem nice) then don't worry about it. I do like interesting discussions about these things, your comment just seemed a bit critical, maybe you didn't mean it that way though.

[IvoirianGirl20]

It wasn't my intention to be critical. It was my African mindset speaking here. I grew up not watching my parents kissing on the lips (expect when they wanted me to say "Ewww" but they were just being silly) nor them holding hands in public. So that kind of affected me being annoyed to see other couples doing the opposite in public you know?

[Opinion Owner]

@IvoirianGirl20 Yeah I can understand that. It's interesting you say that actually, my parents were never big on PDA, although they did used to hold hands whilst watching TV at home.

I've never actually thought about why I like PDA, but in my case I think it's more that I think the man is ashamed of me or something if he doesn't like it. Or like he's trying to keep the relationship a secret.

[IvoirianGirl20]

For me, it's a sign or respect. I know it might sound weird but it's kinda romantic for me if he sees me as a friend/best friend first and respect my desire of non-PDA

[Opinion Owner]

@IvoirianGirl20 No, it doesn't sound weird at all. If he respects your wishes for no PDA that is sweet and respectful.

But if I was with someone and they were affectionate to me in public, knowing I liked PDA, that would be romantic too.

I think anytime a man listens to what you want and treats you as you would like him to, it shows he does care about you, which is always nice :)

[IvoirianGirl20]

I agree. Except that I haven't met this man yet

[IvoirianGirl20]

I'm pretty new in the dating scene. I never had a real boyfriend

[Opinion Owner]

@IvoirianGirl20 Aah well you're only young, there's plenty of time. I've had a few nice boyfriends in the past, only had one bad one so I've been lucky really.

[IvoirianGirl20]

I had strict parents as well. So it made me particular with boys.

[kelly173815]

Probably depends on how much you consider to be PDA. Like, I can deal with no kissing or being really mushy, but holding hands or touching in a subtle way makes me feel more connected to them, and I'm not sure I could do without that

[IvoirianGirl20]

I want my guy to understand that I won't display (except for a small , quick hug) any form of affection online

[kelly173815]

@IvoirianGirl20 well it's hard to do pda online so you really shouldn't have any trouble

[IvoirianGirl20]

I was talking in person