Ok so I once dated friends with benefits. It turned out that neither of us wanted to have a romantic relationship with each other. We had a very intense and passionate short term romance and after that have stayed close as friends. Close as in we have shared very intimate and personal things with each other. We get on well N enjoy being around each other or even just talking on the phone with each other. We have very intense and bonded sex. Yet I do not want to be with him.
Now I'm seeing a new guy who's a lot different. He is really reserved and quiet. We don't talk a lot during the week, and if we do it's texting and never the phone. Conversation doesn't flow easily for us and we don't have that chemistry like me and friends with benefits do. But this guys a catch. I think he may just be shy but this guy is still moving really slow. We had sex a few times (I hadn't slept with friends with benefits during that time) but it was very mechanical. We are seriously lacking passion.
When dating friends with benefits we had a hot and heavy passion that crashed hard and fast in a short amount of time.
With this guy, things are moving slowly (emotions wise) and I am frustrated to know if he'll ever open up to me.
he doesn't flirt with me, compliment me and he won't even admit if he likes me or not. I've hinted at exclusivity but he won't commit to the idea of me being his girlfriend quite yet.
Im going to visit my friends with benefits this week. My friends with benefits knows me better and more intimately than the guy I'm seeing. I feel very comfortable with him. I feel bonded during sex, like we're "vibing" on the same level.
I wish I could have that feeling with the guy I'm dating but he is so walled off that sometimes I'm even worried PDA in public will weird him out.
friends with benefits knows about the guy I'm dating but doesn't know I've had sex with him. Guy I'm dating doesn't know about friends with benefits at all. Neither of them would ever find out anyway but I can't help but feel guilty. Still, I'm technically single and not exclusive with anyone, so my sex life is my business, right?
Most Helpful Girl
Personally I would be honest. One because I think anyone I would sleep with deserves to choose if they would still want to knowing that, some people do take issue with it as is their right. And two the new guy might be shy but is still emotionally investing himself in seeing you - again he deserves to make a choice based on the way you're viewing things.
I'm not in anyway saying you're wrong for wanting a bit of both seeing as you aren't yet exclusive - but you should be honest about that and let the guys make any decisions they feel comfortable with. I feel really strongly about owning our choices and wearing any repercussions. If you're scared it will impact what they think of you or how your relationships/friendships will change then it's a sign you're not making the right choice1