Is it okay to keep my friends with benefits while dating someone?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend with benefits, we've been like that for years whenever we were both single.
It's nice and comfortable to just be able to fall asleep cuddling with someone, or to have a wild night every now and then.

I recently met a guy, we went on an unofficial date (walking in the park and having lunch). We talked a lot and at the end he kissed me on the cheek. We're about to meet again, but that's still two weeks away and no guarantee it'll even work out.

Would it be okay to keep my fwb/kinda thing as long as nothing is official yet?

Same question for kissing friends at parties (which also sonetimes happens)

[Anonymous]

I don't think you can have a relationship track guy you kiss at the end of dates while fucking another guy. If relationship track guy later finds out you were fucking some other guy not him, he's gonna be gone. If you see the new guy as a potential second friends with benefits if you build enough comfort, keep seeing current friends with benefits. If you think you might want to date-date him, you can't do more with other guys than you're doing with him even before you commit.

[Anonymous]

It's not wrong, but let me tell you that some guys would find it disgusting; and most of these guys are the "good ones". It's just my opinion tho.

[Opinion Owner]

If I knew a girl I'm dating was doing that, it'd be a total turn off and I'd get distant.

[Asker]

Thanks for your insight:)

[Opinion Owner]

you're welcome, good luck.

[Crystal28]

If you’re not official with this guy you think you may like then no, it’s technically not wrong but if you feel guilty for it which is obvious you do since you’re asking, then you should think it through. Put yourself in this guys shoes. Would you feel comfortable with him fucking another girl while you guys are going on dates? Probably not.

[Asker]

I would, as long as I didn't have to know about it yet.

If we'd have a relationship already and he'd told me he used to have an friends with benefits when we were unofficial, I'd be fine with it as it no longer feels like 'competition'.

[Anonymous]

NO! It is plain wrong. It is as bad as cheating. Dating a guy, letting him pay, then going off to fuck with another guy. Despicable!

[Asker]

Im not letting him pay. We didn't say anything about it being a date (although it kinda felt like one)

[Opinion Owner]

You are still being unfair to him. He certainly would not date you if ever he found out.

[thebigc]

If you want to start a relationship, do not have prior attachments. If your potential partner finds out that you were keeping a backup, things could get very ugly.

[Asker]

I don't have a backup. My friends with benefits and me will never be anything more than that. My potential partner does know that I have had an open relationship in the past once.

[thebigc]

I would call someone that can always satisfy your sexual needs a backup. If you really want to date the guy, tell him.

[thebigc]

Tell him if you're not gonna end the friends with benefits situation

[Asker]

Not always, just sometimes. It's no guarantee, we don't plan, it just happens every once in a while. If he would have a monogamous relationship tomorrow, I'd be nothing but happy for him. If he remains single, stuff may happen since we have no reason not to.

[Asker]

And of course I'll end it as soon as I have anything official, but I'm talking about the awkward getting to know each other-phase where nothing is said or done yet

[thebigc]

I don't care about the friends with benefits but the new guy might be pissed. Just be aware of that.

[Asker]

Thanks, I'll keep it in mind.

Do you think it's bad if I kiss a girl friend at a party? XD

[Asker]

(sorry, I'm just so used to being single. Just confused as to when I should stop which behavior)

[thebigc]

Depends on why you kissed them and if you were with someone (relationship wise) at the time.

[Asker]

Because we were both drunk and thought it would be fun. Because I enjoy kissing and girls are just beautiful (even though I tend to fall in love with guys).

[thebigc]

I mean if you want to explore women, that's cool. I just wouldn't recommend doing it on the side while you are dating a guy.

[thebigc]

I don't mean to be rude but this seems more like something you have to mull over yourself than ask advice for.

[Asker]

True, thanks!

[QuietRunner]

that's why the friends with benefits is an friends with benefits, not a relationship. If you think it is wrong, then the friends with benefits is more than a person you just have sex with

[Lance1965]

Just ask him. Me and my friends with benefits discuss everything.

[Asker]

Me and mine aren't that close actually. We often don't see each other for months. I know I can trust him completely and he would never hurt anyone (unless they wanted him to lol), but he's not very comfortable talking about personal stuff.

[Zeriya]

Try asking your partner that. Lmao

[Asker]

I don't have a partner (yet), just a walk in the park with a cute and nice guy

[Anonymous]

It’s only wrong if you feel wrong