I have open bite (jaw deformity) and it makes me so insecure that I dont dare to date. I am 22 and never had a boyfriend before. Advice?

I've met a guy online and he wants to see me. We both like each other's appearance and personality. BUT! I didn't tell him I have open bite (lack of occlusion of the front teeth when the jaw is closed normally) and that's why I never smile with my teeth showing (not only on pictures but in life either). It is also noticable when I talk.
Now I finally have the chance to fix the problem (with braces and a lower jaw surgery). As the first step of the progress i've already had an upper jaw surgery to fix my crowded teeth. But I'm so afraid to see him. I'm obsessed with the thought that he will notice that something is not right with my jaw/teeth and be like "ewww". The only thing that comforts me is that I know It'll be fixed within a year. But until that time should I postpone the date or tell him honestly about my insecurities? Would you ever date a girl who's in my shoes?
Updates:
Well guys, we ended up not meeting in person. He was making excuses. He is not whom I thought him to be.
Even tho always he was the one who came up with the idea of going on a date. But whenever I asked him to tell me an exact place and time for it, he didn’t reply for some days (like he texted me on Friday telling me we should finally see each other on the weekend, and I told him, yeah, so where and when exactly?, he saw my message but didn’t reply, and as the weekend passed, he told me: „So sorry, I wasn’t home” lmao, at least he should have said he was busy that weekend, right?)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Tell him xD guys like knowing that their girl trusts them. That would be an excellent step towards that end. And even so...

    1. If he thinks something is weird and isn't willing to maintain the relationship for your teeth... he's too focused on appearance and not worth your time.

    2. If he's worth your time but seems concerned, the fact that it will likely be fixed within the year will probably grant peace of mind xD

    Seriously though... if a guy is worth your time, your insecurities will mean the world to him.

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    • Thank you!! I will tell him, but I won't be dramatic about it, I don't want to give him the feeling that it's such a huuuge issue for me. He is also not perfect, of course. But his imperfections are not visible for me anymore. For me he is perfect the way he is. I think i'm in love lol.

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    • It's really good that you're doing that, and I find it very comforting. I speak from experience in this. I'm still trying to heal a friendship that fell apart from a relationship I rushed into. I have a lot of regrets and... truly I just don't want anyone else going through that. Continue to be safe. God bless friend :)

    • Well, I'm sorry to hear about that. You seem to be handling it well. Keep your chin up. You'll find someone eventually. Your approach to relationships is already very strong. You'll be okay. I'm glad to hear that he didn't get too much chance to lead you on if nothing else.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You can tell him honestly, I don't think a guy who genuinely likes you will mind that. I have a minor condition of crooked teeth too, I pointed it out to my ex and he said he noticed the first time we met and said it actually makes me look cuter, I don't know where's the logic but there you have it. If he really likes you he won't bother.

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    • Yeah, he said braces don't bother him. But would the reason of getting braces bother him? 😂

    • Nope it wouldn't. If he doesn't mind a girl with braces then he won't mind why she got it either. Come on, if he minds the reason of you getting it, it's like saying, "hey I don't mind girls wearing glasses, but I do mind the fact that they can't see without wearing one". Get it? It doesn't make sense 😑. He knows you have teeth problem that's why you wear braces, and he said he's okay with it; he knows and he's really okay with it.

    • Thank you for reassuring me 😘

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What Guys Said 19

  • Three things. One if he is disgusted then he is quite a dick problem solved.
    If he is not you can only know that by seeing him. Problem solved
    Third, believe in yourself and be proud of who you Are, whatever your body's up to, If you are confident about that no way a kind guy would say anything.

    You're not a freak ;)

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  • Ok a little perspective. One day, sweety, you'll be old and wrinkly, saggy boobs ass and belly, grey hair, maybe no hair, maybe no teeth. What will make your man still love you? Not your looks, that's for sure. So what else do you have to offer? Think about that before you worry too much about your (very temporary) looks.

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    • Thank you so much. I am basically satisfyed with myself, it's only my jawline that ruins my confidence :) But so many people told me they didn't notice anything strange about my face. I'll try to focus on my positive features :)

  • Well if he loves you then no worry just tell him the truth before meeting and i am sure he will accept it. And for the who will be in your it same that if i love her than i will date her cause i know it can get corrected and also know that no one is perfect in this world so if i love her or had crush on her i will date her.

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    • Thank you so so much! ❤ your words made me so happy :)

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    • But yes it's there choice so we can't say

  • Honestly, if you are worried about him judging you, then perhaps he isn't the right guy for you. Realise your self-worth and tell him, if he reacts negatively then that's his loss.

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    • Thank you! He is nowhere near to a kind of guy who can get any girls, but I still think that he is too good for me and I'm not good enough for him. He has an average face and body but it's his confidence that makes him so attractive to me that I can't even see his flaws anymore.

    • nobody's too good or not good enough for anyone! you decide who you like, not some magical list of best to worst that forces people together. if you see someone in something, then they are for you. if they see something in you, then you're for them. hopefully that something is every part of you, and in a serious relationship, it should be!

  • Look into orthotropics. It can help you.

    https://www.youtube.com/user/Orthotropics

    Its a philosophy within the science of orthodontics that is supported by lots of scientific evidence to improve facial deformities and dental problems in relation to growth of the face by use of exercises as opposed to traditional orthodontics which works through surgery.

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    • Wow thanks a lot, this channel is interesting, I will try the techniques for sure:)

  • thats great that you've the chance to fix the problem but that is not a major deformity. earlier i replied to a question on this app where a girl was worried her schiznophrenic boyfriend wanted to kill her. my best advice in general woukd be to go out often to clubs and bars nd shit talk to men to get your confidence up

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    • Thank you! I will try this :)

  • I would date the fuck out of a girl with that issue so long as I liked her mind. It's about who you are, not what you look like. If he doesn't think so, then he is an asshole anyway.

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    • Thanks a lot ❤ Anyways I notcied he has chicken pox scars on his face but it never bothered me so I really hope he can accept me the way I am too :))

    • You're welcome, sweetheart! You got this! Just remember! Men can be over-zealous at times! So take things slow and make sure he does too!

  • bitch what the fuck come to my questions, i have chicken chest, chest bone deformity, if you want to visit pyramids of ancient motherfucking egypt, pull my shirt up

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    • Lol I have a chest deformity too (pectus excavatum) ☺

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    • You are right! We are not out chest/teeth/nose etc. I can see that you have a sense of humour, that thing can make one sexy too! I remember having a classmate who was a really slim guy with an average face. He was not my style at all. But he had such a great sense of humour that he could make me laugh my ass off with his creative jokes. I enjoyed myself with him so much. By the end of the year I was thinking about dating him. So much for appearance ☺☺☺

    • aww thats beautiful !
      appearance is what attracts you when you dont know the person, but as you get to know him/her it becomes clear would you like him/her as a soulmate

  • Dont let him wait. And of course he will notice it, but its not a problem dont be shy about it. it will be fine Trust me if you like each other there should be no problem:)

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    • Thank you for comforting me 💕💕💕

    • No Problem it is the truth, meet him and see what will happen.

  • I have an open bite.

    I was pointing this out the other day to my wife of close to 20 years.

    She hadn’t noticed yet.

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    • Thank you so much, this comforted me a lot 💕

  • If he really likes you and plans on keeping you long time, it won't bother him.
    I have a girlfriend and I don't mind that her teeth are little crooked, I am not perfect either, I just like her for being her - honest, fun, caring and then also a beautiful human being. Plus think of it as a reward for loving you for who you are when you fix it. Like a beauty and a beast, or a princess and a frog.

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  • Buy a bite block, it will prevent prevent moving your you be forward to push your teeth at nite or at any anxiety circumstance

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    • Thank you, I will have a bite block :))

  • Being honest is the best option and I would date a girl in your shoes if she was upfront about it before meeting. This would actually reflect as confidence & integrity from the girl to me

    Not that I would necessarily reject you on meeting you if you hadn't mentioned it. But it would feel dishonest of you have not mentioning it before meeting

    Like imagine if a guy was very short and it didn't seem so from his pics. If he doesn't mention this before meeting then it would feel very dishonest to the girl wouldn't it

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    • Yes! This is true. Actually I told him that I'm gonna have braces by the time we meet in person and he said it's not a problem. But I didn't say the reason of getting braces. I don't know if it matters to him at all, but still makes me self-conscious.

    • I guess that's fine in case you get to have the braces before you meet him. You can tell him why you got the braces after you meet him and have gotten comfortable to talk with him openly

  • With in yourself, make your personality so attractive you forget about how you look

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  • Seek out an orthodontist so you feel good. has treatment for it.

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  • If he's not ok with it... it does not worth it

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  • Its ok

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  • A lot of jar deformity are due to a deficiency in fat soluble vitamins. We aren't deficient in braces...

    Although braces may help, think about it. Read the evidence...

    thepaleodiet.com/.../

    Modern systems are so focused on external solutions, that they forget to look at the internal ones. What has your diet been like? How much K2, A, D, E, and K vitamins do you get?

    How much Collagen do you consume?

    Supplementation is expensive since the process of extracting these minerals is lengthy. However, here is one of them, read the ingredients and you will see what most of us lack kellythekitchenkop.com/superfood-coconut-oil/

    Note that many people will not be able to handle the taste of that supplement... but most people will not get the needed minerals from their diet either. Our teeth, jaw, and gums need a consistent and good amount of all of those minerals to grow correctly.

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    • Thank you for the answer! I have a connective tissue disorder (called Ehlers-Danlos syndrome which is caused by lack of collagen). And my openbite was caused by long-term thumb sucking.

    • Have you tried hydrolyzed collagen supplementation? I've been doing it for years for general health because we don't have enough in our diet. Hydrolyzed means the amino acid bonds are broken so much easier to be absorbed by our body. Despite the other causes, getting more fat soluble vitamins is very likely to help.

    • A few EDS sufferers discuss here, some say it may be a waste of time, others say it helped them. www.inspire.com/.../

      It may be worth doing more research.

  • I think you aren't mentally secure enough to enter a relationship yet. Your jaw deformity has created a lot of insecurity.
    I say be patient, get the procedure, and when you feel confident with your new smile, then you can go and date

    Also, I think you are focusing too much on your issue. I have an issue with my penis (due to a motorcycle accident), I can't have sex anymore with a woman, and I can't date at all or have a future with one.
    I found my peace, but i needed a lot of support from friends and family, as well as seeing a psychiatrist to learn how to cope with a life of celibacy.
    There are greater things to life than just romance. Find your purpose elsewhere, get the procedure and he will find you. Good luck

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    • Thank you so much! I'm sorry about your case! :(
      You are right, but it's always hard to face our mental weakness. I have mild social fobia and Asperger syndrome, so I always overworry things. I'm considering visiting a psychologist and maybe start a therapy to streghten my ability to communicate with people and accept myself.

    • Its ok, things will get better i promise! Once you have your surgery, you will feel more secure, you also will be more attractive and you will get some psycholgical help.
      Time will pass and you will conquer that social phobia, just be patient

      Therapy really helped me cope.

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