Anyone else think online dating is useless if you're a man?

[Anonymous]

A full 1/3rd of men that use online dating don't ever go on an actual date. The male to female ratio is too high resulting in a sausagefest in every dating app. Women ignore men's messages, the average guy has to send out over 100 messages to be guaranteed a response. Online dating is a waste of our time, most men spend roughly 12 hours a week sending messages, swiping, and generally trying to find a compatible match to go on an hour long date. The algorithms work against us, keeping us from finding chemistry with a bunch of metrics that don't even pertain to compatibility like height or income. The slightest mistake and we have to start all over again on a new person. Why, with today's technology and advancements in computer code, does dating have to suck this bad? Why are there so many fakes and scams out there directed ONLY at men? Why don't more real women use these platforms instead of limiting their numbers to the point where everywhere you go it's a sausagefest? Why does it feel like online dating caters specifically to women only while exploiting men?

[ThreeSheetsToTheWind]

I don't really agree that women have it made with regards to online dating. They might get more responses but many of them will be from creeps and guys who are only after one thing.

I have found in my experience though that online dating is a waste of time. Getting a reply from a girl, no matter how much effort you put into an opening message, is about as rare as hen's teeth. Then when you do get a reply, you're lucky if the conversation lasts more than five minutes as they often don't give you anything to go on.

However, you just have to accept it and move on. Online dating isn't the be all and end all.

[Asker]

Did you even read what I wrote?

[ThreeSheetsToTheWind]

Yes. I think online dating is largely a waste of time for everyone to be honest.

[Asker]

Agreed

[Anonymous]

I agree whole heartedly I have about four different dating apps on and have only met one person from each one after having it for almost a year , really is a sausage fest , I sent out 100 messages per day for a week I got so frustrated since I only got maybe five messages after all that

[Asker]

Same.

[lilmissumshine]

No shade but it seems like us ladies get more attention and action online but that isn't always good

[Asker]

Yeah I know what you mean. Seems like women gripe a lot about men's messages yet men don't get messages from women. If it does happen its so rare it's insignificant.

[lilmissumshine]

Yeah I mean we get action but they're usually from guys begging for sex or nudes. so we aren't exactly getting what we want

[yeeeeeeeet]

I agree online dating is useless for most of us. Unless you're the epitome of desirable men, you'll get ignored by most women. In general, apps like tinder are targeted toward women and are borderline unusable by men. My friend puts it this way: guys use tinder but girls play tinder. While it might be fun for girls, online dating is just unnecessarily stressful for us.

[Asker]

That's the best definition of Tinder I've ever heard.

[Anonymous]

If you’re not getting at least a 10% response rate on traditional dating sites your problem is your profile or how you’re presenting.

Tinder is not very useful unless you’re at least in the top 50% of males and likely higher.

If you’re in the bottom half of males take that 12 hours a week and reallocate 9 to lifting weights.

[Asker]

This is bad advice.

[Whisperhead]

Nah, I agree with the asker here. Having bigger arms and abs makes no difference to how compatible I am for a woman.

Yes, some women desire athletic-looking men and I won't deny that physical attraction is important on some level because it is for the majority of people. I personally wouldn't date someone who is obese, for example.

But to say that the answer is 'start lifting weights' is a cop-out. Not all women want bulked out muscle men.

[Opinion Owner]

@Whisperhead most don’t want bulked out guys. Most want fit athletic, decent job, confident, tall and socially capable.

Tbh being reasonably fit is the easiest of those to hit.

[Asker]

That makes more sense

[InfoBot]

I think that real life dating is still your best shot at a real relationship that isn't more than just words on a screen. Women don't have to reply to just any message because they can pick and choose, because guys are desperate and often not very discerning. So unless you really stand out you will be lost in the crowd.

[westerly]

They can be hit or miss, but I've usually had good experiences with dating apps. It's all in your profile and how you present. Don't be superficial.
No matter what I've been looking for on Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, or POF, I've always found it: serious relationships, flings, friends with benefits, etc. I've also had many good conversations that would have resulted in promising dates if I hadn't found something else before we had a chance to meet up. Right now I'm very happily in a LTR that started on Bumble.

[Asker]

That's so weird because I've had trouble on all platforms, worst was Bumble.

[JudgmentDay]

It's just easier to give it up and quit altogether. Waste of time, effort and emotions. The more you seek and hope for something the more you'll end up frustrated and disappointed in the end. Just let it go, stop and never look back. Learn how to live on your own and live as a single person for the long term. Plan accordingly, set realistic goals for yourself.

[Anonymous]

I think that's correct for Western countries, yeah...

[Anonymous]

You write 500 messages and you get one response, and these bitches have the nerve to say you should personalize your message. Guess what bitch, you don't get the right to complain, if your lazy ass makes no effort. Try writing 500 messages yourself and you get only one response, then you can talk about personalizing messages, you stupid fucking cunts.

[Redstang88]

It doesn't hurt your chances. I get the odd message back and have got a few dates, and I'm certainly far from the best catch out there

[Asker]

Then you're in the 2/3rds that have been able to use online dating to actually go on a date. Chances are those dates were not good though.

[westerly]

I've had dates ranging from great to boring. None that were terrible. At the very least you had a boring conversation over coffee with little chemistry. Whatever. Hard to tell if a spark is there online, so the more dates you go on the more likely you'll meet someone you click with.

[Asker]

@westerly So suck it up and do it anyway?

[LuckyGuy1647]

It’s useless for women too by the way, some of women never find the right man online. It’s waste of time and money for guys like us to spend life on dating sites. Just go to dating coach if you want to spend money on it for soul searching.

[busterpark1234]

Well at least boys have many things to implement to expose about urself like cars or expensive shit. That doesn't work for chicks guys will jst disregard if chick looks like susan boyle with ferrari.

[Asker]

Women have stated here that those things don't make men attractive.

[busterpark1234]

Bullturd average looking dude with ferrari will have better match then average looking girl with ferrari for sure.

[Asker]

Chances are the dude owns the car while the girl is a model, yup. I'm not disagreeing with hypergamy just seen pinks here state that a cara type doesn't matter to them

[busterpark1234]

Its jst basically showing the stability of the men. Women are naturally attracted to those

[Asker]

And yeah ugly women have an uphill battle. When women hit the wall men are no longer interested since she can't leverage her sexual assets anymore. I feel this is due to hypergamy , men realize she only offers sex while they provide a lifestyle so she either has to be attractive or gets treated the same as a man. Women hate being equals

[busterpark1234]

Its sytematically contructed that way if you are raised as a woman ud prolly feel the same. Hypergamy is only possible cuz guys are like sluts. I don't know but i haven't seem much female image with younger handsome men. Usually successful women tend to stick with their own level i think. Anyways for internet part its only guys giving themselves hard time i guess by being there from the first place. If you got the charm ud do pretty well without all those materialistic things anyways.

[busterpark1234]

On the actual field

[Asker]

Well said. At this point I haven't had any success with the opposite sex so being charming is something I'm not sure I'm capable of anymore without faking it. I don't have any motivation left nor can I change the expectation of the outcome.

[busterpark1234]

Jst try man u need someone to learn from

[Hannajenky]

Do you know how many guys start conversations on here asking if i enjoy anal sex?

Just because i get more messages doesn't mean it's not a bunch of creepy guys who are only looking for one thing

[Asker]

At least you get responses of you want one. We get ignored by females.

[Hannajenky]

So it seems like most guys really want sex. i want a conversation and a partner not just sex.

[Asker]

Hear that a lot yet she's using hookup apps like Tinder. Sigh.

[Hannajenky]

Lol poor guys... guys have it so rough, it really makes you sound pathetic. Have you tried going out in the real world to meet people?

[Asker]

Fuck Off if your going to be patronizing.

[Hannajenky]

I've never used a dating online app

[Asker]

I'm used all of them. So if you're gonna give me advice to try again after I have literally tried everything without any success then I don't see the point. Dating is stressful if your a man, a game if you were born with a vagina.

[yousir]

Yeah, you're not doing any favors for yourself getting all defensive. I don't think she said to try your dating sites again. She said to look for a woman in the real world and not act like a wounded animal.

[Asker]

@yousir Oh. Well now I feel like an asshole.

[zagor]

At least if you get 50 messages maybe 10% are reasonable. If you get 0 messages where do you think that leaves you? You can always ignore creeps.

[yousir]

Oh my god... She isn't interested in your pity party. Why is this the post you guys decided is the right place for you to dump out your purse?

[Asker]

@yousir i0.kym-cdn.com/.../...hite_knight_colored_4350.jpg

[yousir]

Aww man... But she seemed so open to the idea of anal! 😔

[Asker]

@yousir She could ignore those messages just like everybody else or plaster them on tumblr/imgur/pintrest just like everybody else. Nobody ever said she had to dignify those messages with a response. She brought up the extreme example, albeit legit, of the types of messages she receives. That's her choice to be reactionary to douschebags.

[yousir]

I only said that because the conversation was already over and some guy walked in and dumped out his purse.

[Asker]

@yousir Was it Versace or Louie Vuitton?

[Scarecrow13]

And catfish everywhere.