Is online dating pointless for almost all straight men?

Question

As I see it, online dating is pointless for almost all straight men. Why?

1. Women are suspicious of single guys anyway: "Why is he single? What's wrong with him?" A guy who is so single that he needs to resort to online dating must be a loser: that's how women see it.

2. Women get far more 'approaches' online than offline. Even a below-average woman would be difficult for a guy, of whatever quality, to get online. Online, you're competing against all the usual guys, plus all the shy guys who don't approach offline.

I think the only straight man who should resort to online dating is one who looks like a supermodel (and therefore is good enough to overcome problem one and problem two) but who isn't charming (and therefore isn't successful with offline approaches).

chokenGAG · Accepted Answer

It is not advisable to go into any venture with reversible mindsets and closed-minded outlooks. You are not a woman so you could barely guess what they want if not even one I would dare to assume even thought like you have just now.

I would like to point out some things that popped out from your post.

1.) straight men? So are you thinking is pointful for gay men to online date seeking a woman?

Unless of course he is a super model type , then he has a chance.

By you making that comment you are pointing out you feel you are not as good looking and by feeling down you point out that gay men and super models are the lucky ones.

2.) Women are online too so why would they dare to cut down the men they are needing to be available?. That comment is totally ridiculous.

3.) far as approaches online "on a dating site" cuts out the middle man and the question if someone male or female are available and seeking so it is obvious that yes far more approaches.

Keep in mind with the society of mindsets like these and scared shy people will always miss out on life until they either knock or answer the door when opportunity knocks. So that is another factor why offline isn't as effective.

I am sorry you are having some poor luck so far, but I guarantee but butting these diseased mindsets in front of you could very well keep you alone for a long time ahead.

So I do have some suggestions for you. Suggestions are not just for me to tell you what you think you should do. Suggestions can help. Like it is suggested to wear a parachute when jumping out of plane.

So if you want to finally stop hitting the ground with a thudded mess. Erase every thought you have of what a woman wants. Not even they know what they want. It is up to you to present yourself as secure accepted man comfortable with himself. Respecting a woman as not an object to obtain but as another person that could be a very good friend that likes you for who you are without the fears blocking you. A women is not this strange thing that seems so hard to get to know . They are human however and as well as you can sense desperate and negative and insecurity. So please realize all of those are derived from fear. Do not give fears power by accepting that as the way it is. Because it is not. Take head to these suggestions because it could actually change your mindsets and bring you to the woman that is out there waiting for you. it is possible that you have already crossed paths with her. She just needs you to find yourself first.. Good luck !

masterignacio · Accepted Answer

You are right on the money . Some Men are desperate to secure date and are sending messages to every female regardless of her level of attractiveness. Friend of mine even changed gender in his profile from male to female without changing pic and he started receiving messages ! Number indicates amounts of unsolicited messages received link

As a result of this attention most women have inflated sense of their own attractiveness.

And they start to aim for hunks out of their league . Here are some screenshoots taken from fake male model account one link 2 link link link

link

So as you see If you are an average looking guy the only use of online dating is trolling shallow women with your fake male model profile .

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

Today, many men and women feel online dating is the way to go.  The bar scene gets old real quick, and if educated as to know what to and what not to look for with online romance, it can be quite rewarding, to say the least.  My husband now found me 3 years ago on Facebook, fell in love with me and asked me to fly to Egypt, where he is from, and marry him.  Through countless months of Skype and Yahoo, I ended up going in 2011 for 30 days, and because things went so well, I returned to him in 2012, where we tied the knot in the Ministry of Justice.  I have not resorted to going over to live with him "forever" right now, as strange as this sounds, and getting him over here on a Visa is very difficult and no guarantees.  But long distance, short distance, online dating CAN BE  good for "straight men, gay men, any man", all colors, shapes and sizes.   That goes for women too.:))

RedSmartie · Accepted Answer

It's not pointless if you're serious about it. If you use a site that's free you're just going to get people who aren't serious about dating and perhaps just want booty calls or whatever. Women easily get overwhelmed with messages from guys on those sites and they stop using them because it's too hard to find a decent guy among a bunch of horny perverts who just want /a woman/ and they don't care if it's her or if it's anyone. I've been bombarded with messages from guys on friendly interraction sites, even putting in my profile that I do not have any intentions to date. It must be ten times worse on a dating site.

But if you use a quality, paid dating site then you can probably find a girlfriend. You just have to be serious about finding someone who will be right for you, not just someone who looks hot in their profile pic.

gingerninja1771 · Accepted Answer

My boyfriend and I met on tinder lol but we definetly weren't on tinder to find a relationship we both just wanted a one night stand but we had crazy chemistry and now we have been together over a year but I think part of what made it work is that every single person in my age group in my area uses tinder so it isn't a big deal it's like an easy way to view what's out there in my area

ColorfullyDone · Answer

It's all about the profile. It's about intrigue and keeping her wanting to know more. This is the about me I roll with and have had pretty good success...

Newly single, I am looking to rebuild my social circles on the foundation of good people to share good times with.

Never one to define myself using words, I’d much rather define myself by my past experiences and accomplishments. A bit about me: My education is in medical, my career is in saving lives, have dabbled a bit in management. While I found leadership seemed to come naturally to me, at the end of the day, impacting the lives of others is where I want to be.

What am I looking for? Well that's a good question. I am hoping to find someone who can carry on and enjoys good conversation. Whether said conversation is of people, relationships, what makes you tick, what makes me tick, dreams, wonderful experiences, or anything interesting along those lines-The human mind fascinates me and especially the individuality and perception of each person I meet. I'm a sucker for a good craft beer and equally love a good small restaurant with an extraordinary atmosphere. If we do go out, I will share with you some of the hidden gems I have discovered over my years of exploring the area, but only if you promise to share some of your own

The only people who never experience all that life has to offer, are the ones who never try, or are afraid to take chances. So I leave you with one question... What do you have to lose?

See how I vaguely say things, leaving her wanting to know more. I create more questions, than I do answers. Keep it short and don't tell them everything about yourself, just enough to peak some interest. They don't want to read a biography, they want to be intrigued. Also, the newly single thing adds a reason why you are on here. Like an employer who is seeking to hire someone, time in between looks bad and they question why you haven't found someone. Saying you're newly single makes them think I better move now, he may not be on the market for long.

Hope this helps. Good luck homie

Theguyoverthere · Answer

The reality is that most women just make dating profiles out of boredom and just for attention. They just like seeing an inbox full of compliments and such. Many girls get addicted to it and don't even want to meet anyone. That's where a lot of the problems arise in terms of actually meeting people. Guys get called creeps for dare asking for a phone number because suddenly the fact that it is "online" means it's a creeper(which makes no sense if she's emailing him back anyway... let's email creepers on the internet! yay!).

Now honestly, I have been working out for quite some time and I meet far less girls now than I did when I was a twig. I don't know if it is cause I barely use them now or just don't care but honestly, I am sure if I signed into the site that I'd probably see the same girls I did from years ago. I think it's just where I live is kinda a small area a little bit. They're just eternally single picky women who think they deserve the world when they're not even all that pretty anyway... but that inbox full of compliments continues to delude them.

Anonymous · Answer

Pointless, or futile?

Pointless- no, because there's still the overall goal of getting a date from there.

Futile- largely yes, because on top of the amount of men to women and the fact that you don't have the factors you do in person (body language, voice, etc.), but it is extremely easy to ignore someone for the smallest thing you might notice in person and not think anything of.

Online dating will never replace what you can do in person. And let's not forget another really important point- look at the type of people online dating attracts. I kind of chuckle at those dating site commercials that basically try to say online dating is "the future"...yeah, OK. one in 5 relationships started online, and this comes from paid dating sites. Not only are 4 in 5 relationships done "the old fashioned way", but accounting for free dating sites and I really don't think the people on there are "the future" to dating. Not putting them down or being an asshole about it, but to put it very bluntly: they are the people that natural selection would weed out otherwise.

If you rely on in-person socializing, then at some point you have to fix whatever issues you have otherwise people are not going to want to be around you. With time and experience, you gain an understanding of yourself, of socializing, and earn a sense of confidence from it.

What do you do with your insecurities in online dating? Hide them. You also get to portray whatever type of persona you want in online ads and communication. In person, you actually have to BE that person, otherwise people will see right through it.

So you tell me which one sounds like "the future" of dating? :)

AndyWes · Answer

I mostly agree with you.

I mean, compare. A cute girl might get approached in person a few times a week.

A cute girl online gets 50 blase messages online. Not only does it inflate her ego, but it makes you just another cliche line among 50.

I have tried online dating. And, apparently lucky (since most guys seem to say it's impossible to get replies), I've gone on three dates. Two of them were highly attractive in their photos, then just average or cute in real life. (though one made up for it with a most flattering tank top, lmao.)

I think online dating is worth what you pay for it--nothing to little. Make your profile, tweak it to be attractive, and then let women message you. Don't bother messaging other girls.

And if you want to meet girls, go out in real life. Leave an online profile there like a guy leaving a fishing pole in a stand while he goes and drinks a beer and chats. If you get a cute girl messaging you, dandy. If not, nothing lost.

SeraphenaAngel · Answer

I am a women and even though I do get 'approached' on dating sites alot, they do not lead to dates. which is rare for me. This time around seems to be more difficult. So it is not always only the men who have issues with online dating. It just kind of sucks in general anymore. And texting to get to know someone needs to be gone. Technology is the worst thing that has happened to the dating scene in a very long time.

Anonymous · Answer

I think you're half right. You don't have to be a supermodel, just good looking. I would say online dating can be a fun experience for about one of 20 guys (based on their looks). Of course, a lot of guys think they are better looking than what they are and get pissed when the world doesn't agree. Either way, the fact is the only guys that girls don't discount immediately from dating when it's done on a dating site are the guys they consider good looking. The good news is that you can work on improving your image. Also, good looks is a matter of opinion, to some extent.

Troian · Answer

I have to disagree. I'm not saying it's easy for straight men on dating website. It's really difficult but it can work out. Women are looking for single men.

I met my boyfriend on one of those websites. Sure, I find him hot and that's normal but he also have a great personality and I'm to ally in love with him.

Many of my friends met their boyfriend online too. Men who can't find a woman there assume things but the truth is, it does work.

MileyHouey · Answer

I don't think so... It all depends indeed. I have been using some sugar baby dating websites successfully and I really enjoy it. I recommend you to take a look at the review on one of them from
It is called Secret Benefits. Good luck with dating there and have fun ;)

williemorris · Answer

I voted that it is not pointless, just because I personally know many people who met precisely online. My cousin met her husband online (
), I dated a girl from Tinder, and many collegues of mine found their SOs online, too. I think online dating is a great option for busy people, who just have no time to meet girls/guys in real life.

Anonymous · Answer

Well, I certainly hope not. I have dated online before and when I ask a guy why he's single, it's because I want to know his story... everyone has a story. Suggesting or thinking that he is a loser for dating online would be saying I'm one as well (men don't want losers either, right)

There are many reasons why normal single people go online. They could be busy, having to travel for work, they could be wanting to date women from specific demographics... etc.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Its more of an women problem with online dating because women are so paranoid and in today's world that is understandable but still ease up and all our lives will get easier. While it is partly our fault to in my opinion though go out in the world and find a date online dating is kind of stupid. And nothing beats face to face contact no hiding behind fake pictures or computer screens just you and the guy or girl.

salvichick · Answer

Most relationships now a days are done over dating websites. My sister for example met her husband on online dating. Don't think that your a loser or you just can't find someone in person. Its just something new and different to try.

kheserthorpe · Answer

I know plenty of men who successfully date online, and plenty who don't. For the most part, the ones who do well online can do well offline as well.  It's just a bigger pool of potential partners.

Anonymous · Answer

I had an online relationship for over a year maybe even close to two. it was just as meaning full as any offline relationship.

I'm sure there are guys who are suspicious of single woman "is she a basket case?, how has she treated her past boyfriends?, does she just use guys for free things or does she like having a real relationship, is she a feminist?

Anonymous · Answer

its pointless for people who lack ability (or interest) in marketing and salesmanship, regardless of being male or female or whatnot.

i for one hate marketing and salesmanship, so of course i flounder there. but guys with an interest in marketing and/or ability to sell themselves, should not do so badly in there.

Dionysos · Answer

Online dating and dating people you run into online and later decide you like are different things.   Trolling for love with match.com etc doesn't work for most.  The other one can work.

Anonymous · Answer

well when it comes to online dating, men outnumber women by a huge overwhelming margin, so logically it is going to be harder for men, its like men have to be in the top 10 percent ofattractiveness meanwhile women can be in the top 50 percent and still have loads of options

Whitechocolate1001 · Answer

Online dating only works if your good looking, But if your not like me, never and I mean never put up your pic. If a girl ask what you look like and wants to know what you look like, do what I do put up a fake pic.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not pointless, but they should understand the odds are against them instead of thinking it's the sure-fire solution to their dating problems.

yaddayaddayadda02 · Answer

I've never done online dating either way, but your theory seems very plausible.

JennyBenny318 · Answer

No that's how all my guy cousins found their wives.

Anonymous · Answer

It does make it harder for both sexes, to get a relationship going, when it's online. And in my opinion, everyone is way less attractive on the internet, than they are in real life.

StephanArizona · Answer

Dating apps are specifically designed to keep people single. Them introducing you to your soulmate is bad for business. They make money by having long term customers.

tiredofwaiting · Answer

It works for some heterosexual men and some not so much I wouldn't make a generalization like that.

dwiller943 · Answer

Not really.

Is online dating pointless for almost all straight men?

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