Why do women always come to me with their problems?

Well I've never been very good at actually getting women to go out with me, actually never had a girlfriend, but for some reason they always tell me about their problems and ask me for advice, so why if I show them empathy, do they still not feel attracted ta me?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You're suffering from nice guy syndrome. Women say that's what they want, but what most of them are really attracted to is men who display confidence and authority. The so-called alpha male qualities. Most women want security, they want to feel safe, and a man who shows them authority gives them that feeling. Being the nice sensitive empathetic guy all the time doesn't give them that. That's what they get from their friends. This is also why lots of girls date one douchebag after another. They are attracted to the confident bravado which people often falsely associate with authority and dominance.

    That said, you don't have to act like a jackass to show that you have authority. Altruism and a willingness to accept responsibilities in order to help others also shows confidence and authority. It shows that you are doing well enough that you can take care of others and not just yourself. Lots of women are attracted to that. Another thing that helps is just being the "leader" among some social group. Any social group will do. It's as though women can smell the confidence of a group leader from miles away.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • they probably think of you as a brother, or a super good guy friend.


What Guys Said 2

  • I guess you have fallen into the "Let's just be friends" spiel one too many times champ, and I can sympathise with you here.

    From personal observation, you should not bother chasing any of these girls who consider you as a friend and yap away for hours on end on how their previous boyfriend was a douchefag in the way that he treated her. To most of them, you are just another security blanket male who they can talk to until they find their spouse.

    There are several things you can take advantage of them for though:

    1) Help you pick out a wardrobe that will attract other girls

    2) If you want to go out to a bar and pick up, having a girl with you immediately signals to other girls present that you aren't just another sleazy guy hanging with his bros and hungry for sex. (a.k.a. giving you a back door approach - no pun intended)

    3) Asking niche female questions that will help you in your own sex life.

    But still, always remember, bros before hos. :)

  • What john said but slightly more specific.

    Problematic Association: When a guy allows girls to tell him about her problems which causes her to subconsciously associate him with problems. Problems don't get laid. Don't listen to problems.