I just found out I am beind used as a rebound!

[Anonymous]

She was with him for almost 3 years. She still has feelings for him.( I came across a text she sent him. she dumped him up 4 months ago. we got together 2 weeks after. Should I leave her? or is there a chance I can make it work?

Updates

+1 y

She saw him the other day after 4 months. He said hi, made no physical contact . as he was leaving , he didn't say bye to her because she was talking to me. She then followed him to his car and gave him a hug.

Updates

+1 y

Yeah I see what you're saying. another thing I just found out. She is white ,so am I. According to her friend she has not dated a white guy in a while and have said that she would't anymore. the ex wasn't white... Should this be a red flag?

[themastaplan]

number one, she's hiding texts from you...how do you feel she'd react to you talking to your ex still that you still had feelings for...

number two, you just said she still has feelings for her ex, WHY ARE YOU WITH HER - actaully I'd rather ask her WHY SHES WITH YOU...you're setting yourself up to be hurt, LEAVE rebounds DO NOT work...

number three, you've got to look out for yourself man,2 weeks is SUPER FAST after a 3 year relationship with her ex, she's using you to fill a void that she's missing...her ex, you shouldn't allow yourself to get bunched up between them

sure she thinks she likes you and you're probably a good guy, but dood come on...this isn't fair to you, I mean really 2 weeks and she's dating you...no way in HELL she's over her ex unless she's been over him for hte past year during the relationship...this is just so stupid

i've been in a rebound before and when I found out taht she had been with someone for years and then me shortly after I left...for my own good. I ALWAYS ask girls when their last relationship was just due to the fact that rebounds don't work, that person is confused emotionally and needs TIME AND SPACE to themselves,

if you leave her and she really wants to make things work then great do it, but I'm just saying for your own good that a majority of rebound relationships don't work...

hope this helps, good luck

[Asker]

Thx. but he ex is in a different state. that's why she dumped him. but I think he may move back next year.

[themastaplan]

Then for sure leave, if you have ANY doubts in your mind...why waste your emotions on a girl whose gonna not give you any back...you have to learn to love yourself first and look after yourself before giving it to someone else

[shygirl86]

PERFECT ADVICE I agree with you!!!

[themastaplan]

:) I try...but really good luck man, just keep and eye out for yourself

[chuckone]

Rebound relationships rarely work out. But saying that they can. If you really want to be with this girl I suggest you tell her that she needs time to get over her ex before you go any further.

If she's a decent girl she'll see the good in what you are doing and hopefully it will work out in your favour.

I wish you the best of luck.

[shygirl86]

To be honest with you I would get out of this relationship I kno it's kind of hard especially if you trully have feelings for her but it will save you a painful heartbreak...TRUST ME...was in the same situation with this guy I always felt in the back of my mind that they had feelings for each long story short he end up getting her pregnant can you say beyond crushed because I felt he had used me as rebound just to try to feel the void of not being with her...and using me and as soon as she opened back up to him he went running back to her...but I'm glad because I know he wasn't the person meant for me in the long run although it hurt and I'm still trying to get over I rather be hurt then feel like I'm being used as a rebound you should be NO1's 2nd best if you know you are being faithful and treating that person right so the best thing to do is talk to her about see where she stands with him and if the text messag was out of line on her part I would kick her ass to the curve! because tere to many fish in the see to be worried about a guppy

[Asker]

Well she texted him: I have been thinking about you a lot, I djust don't say anything. I've been trying to move on but its no as easy as I Thought! mind you she's the one that dumped him 4 months ago....

[shygirl86]

Idc who dumped who obviously she still has feelings for this guy....i know having strong feelings for some one you care about can blind you sometimes but if you are up for a heartbreak and your feelings getting hurt stay in the relationship

[Asker]

Well she dumped him.

[shygirl86]

It doesn't matter if she dumped him just because you dump someone doesn't mean that your automatically going to be over that person she maybe having a relapse or something old memories they may have had together a 3yr relationship is long time clearly it's something she misses something about him if she text him "i've been thinking about you alot" you shouldn't have to question if your being used as a rebound if you have to question it you are probably being used sorry to sound cold

[Asker]

Yeah I understand, I'm starting to like her and kind hard for me to just drop it. do you think there's anything I could out to make her forget about him or help these memories fade away?

[shygirl86]

If you trully want to make things work just be you and keep giving her the same love and affection you have been giving her if she doesn't do the same kick that bitch to the curve sorry to call her a bitch but I've been in the rebound shoes and it's not a good feeling it's like your a temp to them to fill there void but people are going to do what they want to do and feel how they want to feel I gave my all to that guy was faithful stayed presentable was there for him when he needed me

[shygirl86]

And he still end up going back to her

[Asker]

Yeah I see what you're saying. another thing I just found out. She is white ,so am I. According to her friend she has not dated a white guy in a while and have said that she would't anymore. the ex wasn't white..... Should this be a red flag?

[shygirl86]

i'm going to need for you to put me on payroll! all I'm going to say is move on or stay there like everyone else has said rebound relationships rarely work either your going to question the relationship while your with her or put up with her secretly texting her ex and not knowing if she is using you or not or just ask her where does she see the relationship going and ask her to be 100 percent honest you will know if she is lying or not go with your gut feeling

[1214125]

if she was with him longer then you then drop her because shel have feelings for him more. just from experience.

or tel her straight up how you feel be like I ant no backup plan biatch. ha ha ha

[Asker]

What do you mean? have you been in her position? because she is the one that dumped him. Don't you think the feeelings would fade away over time?

[Anonymous]

how does that black d taste? you probably couldn't evne fit yours in there...if you ask me it'll just be like a hotdog down a hallway...LEAVEEEEE and find a nice girl who hasn't been with a black dude, because once they love the big black d they won't come back...but then again some girls just like it normal size like 6-7 inches, not 15,...again HOT DOG DOWN A HALLWAY! WOOT WOOT! what a sloo

[shygirl86]

Smh...lol...u must be black

[bucklegirl123]

Dont give her the time of day! your not the one! he is! go find yourself a girl that wants you and only u! not one that thinks about someother guy and u?! that's horrible. you deserve to have the attention. have her go back to him then have her think about what she's missing. what could have been. DUMP HER ASSSS!

[shygirl86]

IT NEVER LIES...you need to get you a black woman we are not all crazy lol go with your heart and good luck!

[Xenophobia]

throw a flag over her and f*** her for old glory

[Anonymous]

Well, do you want to be with her?

[Asker]

Yeah I want to,