Is it weird that my boyfriend kisses on his daughter like he kisses on me?

[Anonymous]

His daughter is 2 years old. His daughter from another woman who goes divorced from now. He gives me a bunch of little kisses on the side of my face and head all the time but he also does it to his daughter too.

Yes it it kind of bothers me. I thought those kisses were for me but they don’t seem so special when I have to share almost the same kind of affection with his daughter. He will walk right by me and go to kissing on her forehead, side of her face a bunch of times, and not do anything to me. I only get that in private. He does it to her multiple times a day in front of me.

he's also called her nicknames that he’s called me before. He calls me little big booty sometimes and one day he called her that but instead of booty he said little big butt to her. He lets her kick me around when I’m sitting by him.

[AllyKat1218]

I would say more than anything, just sounds like you’re jealous of the affection he gives his daughter. But honestly his daughter will always come first and if you guys ever got married and had children (if that’s what you wanted), I would assume those kids would come first too. That’s a good thing not a bad one. And some parents don’t show affection to other people in front of their kids because they don’t want to confuse the kid or let the kid know it’s a relationship like that. They usually try to be modest in front of their kids because it could be confusing for a kid to see their mommy and daddy kissing on a bunch of different people. It’s not healthy to be bringing people in and out of your kids lives like that. Especially if you guys aren’t to the point where marriage and future is being talked about, he may not think it’s appropriate to be showing pda in front of their kids. Because what if she grows really attached to you or something and than y’all break up and he tries to date someone else? The kid may get mad or be hurt and confused because now you’ve left. But overall you should just talk to him about it.

[howlyz]

if he is looking at her as an equal member of that family and a potential mother to that child he should not act like that at all, he should acknowledge her as part of her family and have his daughter adopt the same point of view, what he does is not right and is flawed parenting, if she can't change that and she doesn't feel right in that kind of atmosphere I would suggest her to consider other options... he will create a monster out of his daughter by the way, it's not right

[AllyKat1218]

@howlyz one. We have no context as to how long they have been together so we don’t know if he’s thinking about that at all so no you can’t say it’s flawed parenting. 2. You can’t just throw that on a kid, it’s a process. His process could be a slow and steady one. Getting her use to her and than introducin the idea of daddy having a girlfriend and than daddy having a wife. But it has to be slow because kids, especially young kids get attached easily and could end up really hurt if this went south. Him not making out in front of his daughter is not flawed. My parents still only really hold hands and kiss as in pecks in front of me and I’m 20, and they are both my biological parents. Soooo..

[Hurlyburly]

Whats wrong with it? He loves both of you, why shouldn't ne be allowed to show affection towards his own daughter?
As long as he doesn't french kiss her (eww) there's nothing weird about it.

[Asker]

No but he called her little big booty which he specifically stated was a “sexual” thing when I asked him why he calls me that

[Hurlyburly]

Meh. People call their kids the weirdest things from time to time. I won't think too much into that.

[mintrose]

I don’t think it’s weird. I mean, he probably doesn’t even think about it the way that you do. He loves you romantically, but he loves his daughter as his daughter.

[Asker]

Okay but why can’t he do that to me when she’s around? Most of the time I have to ask for his affection. Like can I get a hug or a kiss or some time. I shouldn’t have to ask for those things.

[mintrose]

Perhaps he doesn’t feel comfortable with doing that when he’s daughter is around, even though she’s very young. My suggestion is to talk about this with him.

But don’t expect him to change when he’s never been affectionate when other people are around (if he feels uncomfortable doing that).

[Asker]

He kisses me at the grocery store in front of people all the time. Just when his daughter is around he doesn’t show affection very much. He gives it all to her.

[mintrose]

How about his parents? Did they show affection in front of him? Probably not. That’s the image that they have given him - that it’s inappropriate for a child to see their parents be affectionate.

[Asker]

I’m not really sure

[mintrose]

Talk to him then.

[iluvtoknow]

He's being a good parent.

The child ALWAYS comes first; that's the number one rule of parenting. His life and his loves are second.

I think he should be praised.

Also, if you "don't want children," or want more attention from him, then you need to move on. He has a child; you're certainly not entitled to more attention from him as a girlfriend, but she is most definitely as a daughter.

No offense, but if he were giving the attention you wanted, he'd be being a pretty bad parent. P. D. A. in front of a child is a horrible though!

[Mega_illuminati]

Being jealous of this will not be healthy in future. You will turn out to be cliche stepmother. Either make peace with it, or break up with him.

[Asker]

I’ve tried to make peace with it. By asking him to show me that same kind of affection around others like he does her. Then I’d be fine with it. I’m not going to allow a kid to overrule me. All this kicking and hitting she does. Calling her nicknames he calls me which for one is really weird to me cause he said that little big booty is a “sexual” thing he says. So why say that to your daughter? My point exactly

[Mega_illuminati]

I would suggest you break up with him. I am sorry, but i do not see the reason for you to be upset of 2 yo. But if it is bothering, break up now. Instead of punishing the innocent child in future.

[Myrdices]

My buddy does that to his daughter tho he usually goes after his wife right after so I don't know what your dudes deal is

[Asker]

He doesn’t bother with me either until after 8:00 pm which is when she goes to sleep. I get like an hour out the whole day with him. His daughter gets the rest of the time. It’s mainly silence and us sitting away from each other cause his daughter don’t want me sitting by him so she hits and kicks so he ends up making me get up

[Myrdices]

Kids are little shits just own the time you do have with him

[Asker]

That makes me feel kind of disrespected though cause I’m an adult and I shouldn’t have to be overruled by a 2 year old

[Myrdices]

Youv literally never been around kids have you?

[howlyz]

it's not right that you are discriminated like that and this man is too soft on his "little princess", you should demand respect or move away from there in my opinion

[Asker]

@howlyz He lets her hit on me and thinks it’s funny. He let her have my spot at the table. She got in my chair and put her hands all in my plate. He thought it was funny.

[howlyz]

that doesn't sound like fun and maybe you should consider to move away from there, just a thought
I could be wrong and it's all your decision of course, just don't let anyone abuse you like that because to me it sounds kind of perverted the things you said he lets he do to you, that's not right and I kind of question the reasoning and the overall sanity of the whole situation you have there, to me that doesn't sound right honestly

[Asker]

@howlyz what sounds perverted? I brought it up to him last night how I feel left out like I deserve some kind of love and affection at times and he accused me of being selfish. I told him that was disrespectful for him to let her do that to my food. He told me to stop complaining about everything. That I’m annoying.

[howlyz]

it's sick that he thinks of you as a toy for the girl, I know in his eyes it's all just a game but it's not right if he is blind for the fact that it bothers you..
it is also your responsibility to communicate your do's and don't, meaning the things that bother you and the things that are ok, he sounds like a good father but he is too soft on her with those things when he makes you move from the table and lets her hit you, that's not right and you need to point out things like that loud and clear if you want things to work out and to have communication
I really don't know what else to say here, you should just reflect on everything and it is your decision on what (not) to do after all

[Anonymous]

i always thought that was weird, never understood it myself.. but then again, i HATE kids, and don't want them

[Asker]

I don’t want kids either. Lol

[Opinion Owner]

i have to have one though, because im an only child, and male

[zickzack91]

Its also possible that you are kind of the same important for him as his daughter is. You shouldn't be jealous on a child. :)

[Paulzm1]

He probably whants to build a nice family with you, he whants kids

[abhivashisht98]

Seriously woman, now jealous of a 2 year old girl