Why did he stop talking to me?? Did I do something wrong??

[nbrokaw87]

Hey everyone, I have posted some questions up here in the past and gotten some great advice so I'm gonna try this again. I met this guy on craigslist back in the beginning of July. We hit it off really good. We met up a couple weeks after we started talking and had a lot of fun. He was texting me everyday, didn't talk a lot on the phone, but text all the time. He would text me "hey beautiful" and sweet dreams beautiful". Even after we went out he was texting me "your much beautiful in person" and that he had great time. This continued for a couple more weeks and then he came over one morning after work. We ended up hooking up. I knew it was too soon, but it felt right at the time. Right after he left my house that day he text me and said "Your amazing". Communication was still there but was alittle different. He still said sweet things to me. I had asked him what he was looking for exactly and he said a LTR but wanted to take it slow. We both have been turned a lot in the past. He told me that from the get go that he has been walked over by women for the last 2 years and wasnt letting it happen again.He had surgery done on the 4th of August and I wasnt expecting to hear from him because of surgery. He text me right after he got out saying "everything went fine, but I feel like I have been hit by a train". I thought it was sweet. Most people don't even think of that and just want to get home and go to bed.

Well about a week and half ago I didn't really hear from him so I text him last monday and asked him if he was still interested in dating me. He said "im very interested but I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship". I said that I wasnt trying to jump into anything right now either and told him I would like to get to know him better and see what happens. He said "I would love that". The next day (tuesday) we had a general conversation but there were no more hey beautifuls or anything like that. That was the last time he text me, a week ago. I have made some contact with him a couple of days ago through text he was talking to me. He didn't ignore. I just don't know why he hasn't text me but when I do he talks to me.We went from talking all the time, to nothing really. Why would he said he's interested then stop texting me? I am really confused because I really like this guy. I like see his name everywhere, and can't stop thinkin about him, Please help. Thank your for taking your time to read this. Have a great day

[Anonymous]

Sounds like to me he chicked out when yall went too fast and hooked up.Yall moved too fast for his comfort level so in order to take things slow, he probably doesn't want to flirt with you by saying "hey beautiful" and all that since when he used to say that yall were moving fast. Bottom line: If you really like him you will GIVE HIM TIME. He will come around. I'm kindof in the same boat you are.I like this guy, and I'm pretty sure he likes me, but he only texts me like once a week, and I want to like call him everday! I just think my guy wants to get to know me better before rushing into anything (including talking/texting alot) which is exactly what I think your guy is doing. He doesn't want to rush into anything, and if he calls you and texts yous alot, before actually getting to know you, then that would in a way be rushing into things. If he wasn't interested in you he wouldn't have told you he was, he could have just not said anything at all. Also, he would not respond to your texts if he wasn't interested in you. I just think he is scared of getting hurt and scared of rushing into a relationship. He is scared/not ready for a relationship becaues he is scared of getting hurt/his heart broken, which everyone is, so you need to make him trust you and move slow for him to show you care and will not hurt him. So maybe you should initiate the texts every now and then since he is hesistant and put him at ease. Say, "Just thinking about you. Hope you have a good day. Call me sometime." or "Hope we can talk or hang out soon!" Just don't call him but like 1-2 times a week and same with texts, so you won't hurry him. Sounds like he just wants to be free right now, but you could always start with getting to know him/be his friend, and then see what happens. It will take time but he will come around if you do this. If he didn't want to talk to you he wouldn't answer. Bottom line: Give him time. He is scared of hurrying into a relationship. Send a text/message about once a week or so to let him know you are still interested but so that you won't annoy him since you aren't 100% sure of his feelings. Hope this helped and good luck!

[nbrokaw87]

Wow really good advice!! It just sucks when you go from talking all the time to nothing really. I'm sure you know that since your kinda going through the same thing.. I will keep you updated and if you need any advice feel free to ask.. Good luck with your man hun.. THANK YOU!!

[shevvon21]

i think if a guy is interested, they will definitely show interest. when this guy liked me, he called and texted me EVERYDAY. I would have general conversation with him as well, but I would never initiate contact, because I didn't like him like that. which leads me back to, how does this guy really feel about you and what's really going on in his life, you know? He can't be 2 shy because you all met in person. any shy person would have big problems with meeting someone for the first time in person. what scares me is that, after you all hooked up, he became distant and withdrawn. he only talks 2 u, when you talk to him. its something definitely going on. Like I say, usually guys are only out for one thing, and that's for a quick booty call. just bluntly ask him. what does he see in you? why are you the only one always initiating conversation? why can't he ever text you on his own? let me know how it goes hon. much love.

[whatgives]

He does sound confused. Perhaps he's scared and has backed off when things were going faster than he could cope with. Maybe he's a bit of a commitment phobe if he's been hurt in the past. Sounds like you;ve played it well though, and I would've done the same to be honest. You've told him what you want and put the ball in his court. I don't think guys really plan in the same way as we do - that is, if a guy is enjoying your company he'll just keep at it without really thinking 'where is this leading.' So I dunno, maybe play it cool a little bit and let him do the chasing. As long as he's clear you like him, you won't have anything to lose by letting him pursue you and enjoy the thrill of the chase. Hope that makes sense. Good luck.

[radical46]

You gave her some good advice and me some as well. Not going through the same exact thing but just a few similar scenarios with the guy I have been dating. I believe you hit the nail on the head when you said that guys don't plan like we do. I can't tell you how many of my platonic male friends says it kind of makes them feel pressured when the woman is continuously talking about a relationship or trying to label what they have instead of being patient and letting things flow.

[Hercules]

The only possible explanation I can think of (and it certainly isn't the only possible one, it's just the only one I know) is that he's lost interest or is taking a break from relationship stuff for a while.

He might still be interested, just not as much, or he might still be interested, but he just needs a break. Maybe the surgery has made him slow down a little.

Sorry I can't be of more help.

[radical46]

Men are not like women. That's what we have to remember first and foremost. Secondly you have to think postive I read this saying "we bring about, what we think about". I believe that. So think positive. Give him time and give him space, but most importantly give him a chance. Don't do all the work for him but as one of my friends told me men need understanding so try to understand where he's coming from. Good things come to those who wait and if you feel like he's worth the wait then just have a little patience. Find other things to do so that you are staying occupied it will also help you because when you speak to him you have more to talk about telling him how busy YOU have been. Not eveyone moves at the same pace. Now let him text you first (don't worry he will), lol, and you will feel so good when he does because you gave him a chance to show you that your on his mind.

[shevvon21]

I've been done like that a lot. most guys just like a challenge. The want to go for the gold as you can say. the gold is in between our legs and it seems like, when we give it up to sson, they just consider us a booty call. In this case, it's different, because he's still in contact with you, so I can tell he likes you. But is he only textin u? are you sure he's not with anyone else?

[nbrokaw87]

Im not really sure to be honest.. we use to text all the time then it like stopped. He has texted me since last tuesday (over a week ago) but when I text him he responds. He said he was still very interested in me but said he was sure if he was ready for a relationship. I last text him on monday and we had general conversation but haven't heard from him yet. I don't know if should keep textin him once in awhile and see if he comes around or not.

[radical46]

It seems as if you are letting your personal feelings towards men dictate how you are responding to the question. None of us know this guy she is dating so why think the worse of him. Not everyone wants to rush into a relationship, some people have issues with themselves that have nothing to do with fooling around with other people and I've learned that women can get hurt, get over it and fall in love all over again. Men are not so generous with their hearts. Maybe he is just taking it slow.

[shevvon21]

If I am so wrong radica. why don't you state an opinion. where is yours by the way? I'd love to hear it.