Is having anxiety a deal breaker?

[Anonymous]

If your boyfriend, girlfriend or someone you're interested in told you they deal with anxiety, would you be turned off? Would it be a deal breaker? Have you ever had to tell a partner you have anxiety or have they told you they have it?

I have anxiety and I've been dating this guy for four months. We just recently made it official two weeks ago. Im scared to tell him I have anxiety. I know I don't have to but I feel if we're in a relationship, he should know and today has just been a bad day with anxiety. I feel he's going to think I'm crazy or something and break up with me.

[Doodabeat]

No. I think everyone experiences anxiety. Anxiety and hallucinations are common symptoms of depression and trauma. A ton of people drink alcohol and caffeine too. You'd have to be a psychopath to not experience mental impairment from heartbreak and trauma.

If we were still hand-to-hand warriors we wouldn't be diagnosed with nearly as many mental illnesses because our behavior and mental health would appear to be "normal" because our current mental health standards are for someone who works in an office and stays home (doesn't leave home to hunt every day). That's why monks have very different brain activity - chemicals, composition, connection, etc. Monks physically avoid stressors because they're safe in monasteries and all of the people around them (other monks) work towards the same goal and help each other. They have endless support. Most people throughout history haven't had that and have had to face the truth of being animals. Since we no longer need to behave like animals animalistic behavior is considered mental illness, because it shouldn't occur in people who have been completely safe 24/7 their entire lives.

[Doodabeat]

Monks don't need to stress about income or work to survive.

[Doodabeat]

Anxiety is part of being animal. It's just smart to not let it hold you back because it's only considered an illness if it hinders you. If you're not bothered by it psychiatrists can't diagnose you with a mental illness.

[Doodabeat]

The "illness" is not what goes on in your mind. Its how your mind prevents you from being a fully functional working-class citizen.

[Doodabeat]

How you let your mind do that. It's okay to do what you want to but if you need to work hard and your mental health is preventing you from working as hard as you think you can you could be diagnosed with a mental illness because you told the doctor that you not being at your full potential is causing you some distress.

[chimeara]

Everyone deals with anxiety. Some more than others. If it is a deal breaker than any relationship will fail at some point any time someone is stressed. Someone with anxiety issues can still thrive with support.

[btbc92]

They would not be my boyfriend. I would know about it and suggest they get professional help or seek God for healing. Because as a person who suffers some form of anxiety because of my abusive past, I am focusing on the Lord. Even I wouldn't date me like that. You should have told him this before two weeks ago. Because that is leading him on. You need to tell him immediately. Some would still date you. But others may not. It's not about them thinking your crazy. That's when you use it as an excuse to attack other people. They break up because 1. you were dishonest because you omitted that out, 2. Because anxiety is toxic. And if it doesn't improve, it will hurt the relationship.

[StingRayxoxo]

You need to tell him. Your anxiety will get worse while you keep it from him. He will either be supportive or not, and you can move forward from there.

[alexasks18]

everyone experiences anxiety at different levels and different volumes in their life and srsly i don’t see how that would be a deal breaker. Its not unusual and i think he’ll understand, don’t stress yourself :)

[NineBreaker]

Is not so much having anxiety, but rather if she's willing to be proactive about it. Nobody is perfect.

It's sort of like, say, being asthmatic or diabetic.
I would not date someone who has no desire to put forth any effort to take care of health.

[SuperTroll]

Depends how it affects the relationship. Just telling me that won't break anything. Calling me all the time paranoid about where I'm at or something like that might start to become a drag.

[SuperTroll]

With any kind of condition whether it's severe menstrual mood swings or anxiety, this might sound a bit callous but I seek a relationship that has net benefits for both of our lives, not one at the cost of the other. That's not to say I lack sympathy, but same sort of thing with a job. If someone shows up late to work all the time, they might have very genuine excuses, perhaps even a chronic condition of sorts which renders them helpless but to be late all the time, but I still have to let them go if there are no signs of improvement.

[Clowr]

Nope. Would not. My ex stood by my side during that period. So been there. Will rather try and help them out then.

[Clowr]

But do understand that it is a deal breaker for some or that they would leave their partner. For it is very hard on them aswell. So I do not judge there.

[ShortCircuit]

I wouldn't really care. Everyone experiences some degree of anxiety. Even if my partner experienced a high degree, it wouldn't really impact me--unlike other mental health problems, like depression or bipolar disorder.

[Ámayas_20]

You do realise anxiety can be just as bad and sometimes worse than other mental disorders.

[ShortCircuit]

@Ámayas_20 Worse how?

[Ámayas_20]

It can be much more consuming and can manifest itself in many harmful ways, anxiety is a big cause of depression, it can make people suicidal, many people have panic attacks and triggers etc. It's one of the hardest to manage and it's not one, like depression, that you can recover from only learn to live with.

[Kit_Kat88]

I have anxiety too, especially when it comes to relationships and social interactions. It’s not a deal breaker if you know how to deal with it in a manner that doesn’t harm others

[Exterminatore]

For me it isn’t a deal breaker. My girlfriend has it real bad and was scared to tell me to. It really isn’t a big deal for me.

[Angel_Devil]

Definitely not, don't be afraid to tell him, if he genuinely cares about u, then he'll help u through it!

[HunterSarnia]

Tell him when you are ready. I take lts of meds for anxiety and im not sure my wife of 7 years trily understands it yet. This is a very ambiguous answer... but its a hard situation to deal with.

[nurnabila]

You should tell him if not it will getting worst, I also have anxiety too and I already tell my boyfriend about it and he always try his best to make me not feel anxiety again

[alexquestioned]

I deal with loads of anxiety myself and honestly I actually kind of want it in a woman.

[Giggletr0n]

With the amount of people I have dated with depression, anxiety or both I am ready for a change! So yeah, now it's a deal breaker.

[Nerdvana]

Everyone has anxiety. Its how they cope with it, that's a deal breaker.

[Sonorous]

No! That would be hypocrisy! :')

[NaomixSuicide]

No, I would have patience with them

[VIVANT]

Doesn’t everyone have anxiety?

[dontgofalling]

We all have anxiety at some point, no avoiding it

[Secret6620]

It shouldn't be.

[CoffeeWC]

Not for me

[Anonymous]

Only if you're a guy, life is impossible for me