Long story short I had this amazing connection with a guy I was dating. I pushed him away more than once because I liked him and was afraid to get hurt. He forgave me quickly when I tried to end things the first time and forgave me when I cancelled plans a few times (again, I only did it because I was scared). I know I messed up and I feel awful. It’s been a little over a week now and he’s ignoring me. The morning of the day he started to ignore me he kept saying he was confused because he got close and is afraid to get close again so I asked him if he just wanted me to go away and he said no. I asked if he just wanted to move on, be friends or try to hang out again and see how we feel and he chose to hang out. I suggested we talk on the phone and he agreed but didn’t answer when I called and has disappeared after he said he thinks he’s up for hanging out again. He’s called me flighty (fine, deserved) and he’s been curt with me so why not just end things? It’s not like he was afraid to hurt my feelings. Why put in the energy of explaining your feelings? He said part of him wants to talk but part of him is afraid how many more times I could push him away. I’ve learned a big lesson here but now I regret what I’ve done. Any suggestions? Do I just need to forget about it and move on? I’ve apologized and explained to him why I did it. He seemed to be hesitant which I understand but now he’s just flat out ignoring me. Thanks in advance!
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Well, yeah, you pushed him away, so you need to move on.3
he's not worthy16
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You just got to realize what is done is done and just move on.0
I think you have to move on here0
Tell him the whole truth and try again8
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You chose to play a stupid manipulative game by pushing him away. Men these days my self included, aren't interested in head games. He did the right thing and you need to move on, learn from your mistake and be a better person for it.
I didn’t intend to be manipulative. I got scared and I’ve apologized and never meant to play games.
irrelevant you made the choice. Relationships are all about choice. You chose to push him away and give in to your fear. Because of that he felt manipulated, disrespected, and felt like you werent worth his time.
Then why would he say he didn’t want me to go away, he still wants to talk to me and hang out if he was just going to ghost
probably letting you down easy. Its what i would do.
Well said brother. The only games worth playing are on a computer
Wouldn’t you just say sorry it’s over... I asked him if he just wanted to be done. He said he was open to talk on the phone, he said rather than move on he wanted to hang out, he still wants to talk to me. Why waste all that energy... wouldn’t you just say you’re done?
maybe he is giving you a way to come back when you figure out what you want. My suggestion is that you dont push him away. Ever. maybe it will work out.
This has been an enormous lesson. I know I messed up and he didn’t deserve any of this. I feel awful, I really do. I know I’m a good person but I let my past get in the way. It felt safer to try and run. I feel like a complete jerk to hurt someone like this.
If you give into the fear then you make the fear come true
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
@Charlie_King I see that very clearly now
Yoda really said it best, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
@Charlie_King yup did you see my DUNE quote?
I'm not familiar with DUNE so it skated right by me.
I highly doubt it. He has ignored every text from me. It would be hard for me to ignore these texts too because you can clearly see that I’m trying so hard to apologize and letting him know being ignored is hurting me.
@Charlie_King You should check it out sometime. Amazing book