Is it okay to date my mom's ex boyfriend?

Question

I am in my 20's. My mom had a boyfriend for a year and a half and it's been a while they split up. Recently her ex had been flirting a lot with me and has asked me out.

We recently met and we had a passionate kiss.

He is like 32 unmarried guy. What do you guys feel? Should i meet him again?

mckatowitz · Accepted Answer

The age difference and the fact he's pushing you to act sexy bothers me more than the fact that he dated your mom. If you were older I'd say if you'd talked to your mom first and she was fine with it then it would be ok.

The fact that there's a huge age difference and that it sounds like your hiding the relationship is worrisome. If you are with someone you shouldn't need to hide anything. It also sounds like the tabooness of the relationship maybe part of the reason it attracts you so much.

So ask yourself if your mom, your friends and the world were totally ok with the relationship would you still want him?

He's 32 and your in your 20s are you two in the same place in your lives? What happens if he decides he wants marriage and kids soon are you ready for that?

Are you into the same things socially? What are your common interests? When the first heat of attraction wears off are you going to enjoy being with him?

Is he willing to introduce you to his friends and family or is he hiding the relationship as well?

Lastly, if your mom's not ok with this do you still want it? Are you going to be ok if it changes your relationship negatively? What are you going to go if your friends and family agree with her? How are you going to feel and deal with the situation if he just wants to fool around and you've given up your relationship with your mom to be with him?

I would think very carefully to the answers to those questions before you go forward with this. Once the two of you move to a sexual relationship the blow back of people reacting negatively, if they are going to, is going to be just about impossible to avoid.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Your mom will never forgive you. I made this mistake.
My mom dumped my dad years ago when I was 14 for a guy in his late 20s, he was cute, flirty, very witty, well built and I could tell he was good in bed by the screams of mother all night in next room. I once caught him coming out of the shower when I was sixteen and I could see why my mother made such loud noises in bed. Anyway we were always friendly and I was smitten with him and I could tell he lusted after me. My mother kinda started to get jealous of friendship and turned into a mega bitch at me. Eventually he left her, I met him again when i was at club aged 17, we hit it off, next thing I knew we were making out and taking a taxi to his place. The sex was mind blowing. My mother was back with my father who was happy to have her back but when I told her I was seeing her ex she attacked me, I haven't seen her since.

BrittBratt2416 · Accepted Answer

What? Is okay to date your mother's exboyfriend... YOUR MOTHER'S EX BOYFRIEND? Let me as you a question, would you be okay if your mom dated one of your ex boyfriends after introducing him to her and spending all that time together when him. Then you break up only to see this dude cuddling on the couch with your mom... are you insane? That's breaking the girl code on a whole other level. Now this guy has one hell of story to tell his friends, a story about how he banged the mom and daughter.. how do you not even see the game that's being played here?

holograph · Accepted Answer

It's okay in that it's not illegal... but the BEST thing I can say about it is that it's going to make things awkward with your mother.

Is it really worth it?

I already don't have a good opinion of this guy. Things don't work out with this girl so he goes after the daughter? And is demanding sexy photos on Facebook? That's a bad look for him. I believe the only positive male responses you might get are from the guys who wish they could take this guy's place.

welkwo · Accepted Answer

I'd admit.. Tad bit strange, might cause strain/awkwardness between you and your mom.. But, ultimately while ethics might be questionable, it's really your discretion in the end.

If it's a turn on for ya, well hey different strokes for different folks 😅

lightbulb27 · Answer

my vote is no. It's socially odd. somehow, I don't think you are going to walk away by your own strength. talked to mom about him and what happened with them, and what is going on? she's going to find out if you date him.

my vote is bad, but I'd suggest you get a counselor or good friend to bounce this off of. I don't trust you nor him, no offense. it's too hard to see clearly in these scenarios. Question is... will you lose your mom, is he just going to use you or is this legit something good. The fact of how he is engaging with you, makes me think this is bad... he doesn't have your best interests in mind. If he did, he'd express this differently.

VaIiant · Answer

Bruh. This is SO past violating girl code that I can't even begin to express how I feel. "Its been a while since they split up" "I'm 20".. So this guy has known you since you were a teenager and was in a position to become your DAD?
Have some fucking self respect, dump him, and hope your dear mother never find out.

hahahmm · Answer

No. Your mom will be family for the next 50+ years. 99.9% chance this guy will move on within 2 years. If you get with him your mom will feel betrayed and not trust you.

It’s easy to do things that you shouldn’t do. Stop doing things based on making yourself feel good & think about how it makes your mom feel. Also loyalty/commitment is a two-way street. If you get with this guy don’t count on your mom being there for you ever again in your life.

Hidden_P · Answer

You’re first question I was like hell no.

You’re update; you’re wet because he slept with your mum? Insists on pictures from a young girl? Cool. He’s a borderline paedophille and you are insane or unstable. Bon voyage, don’t expect us or your mum to contribute to your therapy...

1231prncss · Answer

I personally wouldn't want to. Knowing that I may have sex with someone my mother also shared a physical relarionship with just seems wrong. I can't tell you what to do. But personally think its a bit gross. I guess the best way to answer your question is to tell you to put yourself in her shoes. If you were with a guy for a year and a half but then broke up, would you be totally ok with your mother dating him?

cntryrob · Answer

The way I look at it, so it's been along time but still. It's wrong. There's no way I could be with someone a family member of mine has been with. First thing I would think. Her mouth has been on his penis and I don't wanna know what my family taste like. And that my family has had sex with her or well him in your case. Plus it's just wrong.

Avicenna · Answer

His behavior is a potential red flag. If he is respectful and your mom doesn't care, I don't see a problem.

Bananaman177 · Answer

If you had any respect for your mother, you wouldn't even have to ask this question.

But then again, respect is earned, not given. If you don't have any respect for your own mom, there must be a reason why. So whatever she did to lose your respect forever, (probably what she did to your father) she can damn well live with the consequences now.

Daniela1982 · Answer

That would be very weird. In fact it may even seem that he went with your mom in order to get to you. I would stop all communication with this fake. By the way, how old is your mom? Just weird.

CubsterShura · Answer

GIRL IT'S A TRAP PUT YOUR FEELINGS ASIDE AND RUN FAR AWAY. HE'S USING YOU.

No matter how careful or whatever you are, there is no prevention for emotional manipulation or grooming. You are really gonna regret this later. All you can do about it is being resilient on YOUR side. Put your ego or whatever away and end your conversations with him. Be smart!!

SueAnon84 · Answer

Umm... like eww. First of all why is your mom going out with a much younger guy! .. Second, that's your mother's ex! It seems disrespectful but hey, if you truly feel something for this guy then go for it? However, that wedding will be really awkward for your mom!

iminhell · Answer

The idea of doing anything with a guy your MOTHER has already been with is completely vomit inducing. Yikes.

Anonymous · Answer

This is like some Jerry Springer type stuff going on. It just feels wrong. From reading your responses, I glean that you are just looking for validation to justify your decisions which may have been made out of spite

Murattti · Answer

That is be so awkward. Even for you. Respect your mother. Don't remember, Everyone goes but family stay with you.

SarahsSummer · Answer

Of all the millions of men, in the world choosing your moms ex should be at the bottom of the list.

SweetDisaster · Answer

Omg hell NO so many god dawn man out there and you just had to pick your mom's ex. It's so obvious the he only wants to sleep with you. Sense he already had your mom why not the daughter to. I'm sorry but that's just nasty. He knows you like him that's why his taking advantage. You most stop that and find someone else who is worth it.

Animesh911 · Answer

Tou do realise, if you do this, it will make it weird for you to face your mom and more so, you will be nothing more than an object of pleasure for the guy. He will never be serious for you

outside_Toronto · Answer

3.5 billion guys on this planet and you have to go out with this guy? SMH... lame

EmeraldGreen190 · Answer

Are you seriously asking this question? That is highly immoral.

Nikunj70 · Answer

He was your moms boyfriend & now they are not with each other do you think why so? what happened?

Now he is with you what if you cheated?

You must think about your mom & tell them before meeting with that guy..

feel attracted that doesn't mean go with what you feel you must think practically dear...

Hope you will get your answer..

MrTwix · Answer

Things like this can be weird but also stupid to find weird.

Example: In my family a large part of it is connected by a single marriage, if anyone blood related were to marry another member of the marriage connected family, it would be marrying a step cousin or something.

If no one is really bothered by it then it's fine. But if it's found to be weird by your general social group then it becomes weird.

hafinjun · Answer

You already no the answer, first off why did your mom dump him, 2nd g) have you asked your mom what she thinks. I see many red flags in this hope I'm wrong.

ChefCurry · Answer

Reminds me of a Maury episode. Do you also live in a trailer?

buttcrackjoe · Answer

Wow, is the relationship with your mom worth some dude who will probably haul ass in no time?

Melshmallow046 · Answer

That's all kinds of weird. If he didn't date your mom I'd say go for it, but he did, so no.

loveslongnails · Answer

I see why you're posting anonymously. If a man had posted this, he'd be called a creep, more than likely. If you DO eventually have sex with him, see if you stay wet while thinking about how he was once inside your mother and now he's inside you.

blondfrog · Answer

The fact that you asked makes you twisted in the head.

JKingOff · Answer

I guess my question is what's going to happen when it's time to introduce him to your parents? Does the saying "Mother knows best." apply here?

Mädchen · Answer

Don't you have an ounce of respect for your mom? Is dick that important to you? There are millions of other guys you could date besides your moms ex

Jesse0 · Answer

He is using you. Very immoral of him, leaves your mom and decides to turn to you instead because you're younger and vulnerable 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Death-of-rats · Answer

does your mum know you're seeing him? if all parties involved are ok with it then i dont see why not.

lovedejj_xo · Answer

Plenty of penis in the world find one that hasn’t been used by your mom.

slatyb · Answer

This guy sounds very selfish to push you to do something you don't want to do. Forget him.

R4vedave · Answer

If you're okay with possibly ruining your relationship with your mother, then sure

SexyAshh · Answer

I've slept with one of my moms ex boyfriends.  Go 4 it

neville78 · Answer

No it would break your mams heart and destroy the bond you have with her no willy is worth that xx

Taylor_C · Answer

If you´re a redneck from the deep south, it´s not only okay, but probably mandatory. For everyone else, big no no.

LittleTroubleMaker94 · Answer

Your mom dated young lol if she's ok with it go for it but question his intentions if he's super demanding.

kuame · Answer

Don't think about nor give it a second chance cos you don't have to fuck the same man with ya mom. I mean he date your mom and he now wants you, why should he in the first place do that?

cloud9vortex1234 · Answer

I find it very low of this guy that he's trying to get with you considering that he use to be your moms ex-boyfriend.

WalterRadio · Answer

Sure, go for it! I have always had a fantasy of sleeping with a mother and daughter (not at the same time). It is probably not going to happen.

DivaTulips · Answer

No you shouldn't... You are disrespecting your mom... Feelings can be controlled.

LoU_Hades · Answer

Don't do that, unless you want your mom as enemy. By the way there are millions of other guys why exactly that one?

cmoney88bags · Answer

Um no respect ur moms even tho he shd but i dnt think itll workout because of tht reason n gonna bring drama to the table also so no i wldnt cus what is it to say he's gonna be loyal with u

Wurdom · Answer

That's disgusting, and the fact you don't feel disgusted by it makes it even more disgusting

Daddy_henry · Answer

Sounds like you should definitely fuck him. I'm sure he'd love the idea of you still thinking of him as your "Step-Daddy"

Pink2000 · Answer

Daaaamn. Wouldn’t that be awkward. Why would you want to date a guy who fucked your mom (I’m assuming) that’s kinda gross.

Oculops · Answer

Sounds awesome even if it might be a bit awkward go for it!

oldoldold · Answer

So he was thinking of you those nights he was with ya mum? Sure go for it i can't see anything bad happening.

UncleBumbleF_K · Answer

It could possibly ruin your relationship with your mum. Apart from this I don't see any problem.

Passinggas · Answer

That is a nice kink. He gets a sample of where you came from and I bet that will get him hard while having sex with you.

JNewbb · Answer

Do you have no shame? That's a tad incestuous don't you think?

AuroraRoseat · Answer

I would ask your mom. How would you feel if your mom dated one of your exes?

Missoctober13 · Answer

For me that would be weird I would kind of think there is something wrong with that man who dates their exs daughter

Account · Answer

100% troll question.

Anonymous · Answer

First of all make sure he doesn't just want you for your body, then consider what kind of future you could have. If you think you can be happy with someone else, no matter how much older they are, go ahead and try! As for your mother, it might hit hard at first, but ease her into it and she'll accept your love aswell.

Reddwolf · Answer

Don't do it it's not going to work out there is a good reason why he is an ex find someone who is more your age because you are nothing but a rebound for him

Twalli · Answer

It may be awkward for your relationship with your mom, but if you genuinely like him you can date him. Just make sure you aren't into him because your mom couldn't get him.

Anonymous · Answer

This sounds all kinds of wrong. He should know better and though you might not, I'd avoid that kind of mixed up emotional goop.

UnknownGagsUser · Answer

She's your mother not some random friend , wtf? It sicks

Is it okay to date my mom's ex boyfriend?

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