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The age difference and the fact he's pushing you to act sexy bothers me more than the fact that he dated your mom. If you were older I'd say if you'd talked to your mom first and she was fine with it then it would be ok.
The fact that there's a huge age difference and that it sounds like your hiding the relationship is worrisome. If you are with someone you shouldn't need to hide anything. It also sounds like the tabooness of the relationship maybe part of the reason it attracts you so much.
So ask yourself if your mom, your friends and the world were totally ok with the relationship would you still want him?
He's 32 and your in your 20s are you two in the same place in your lives? What happens if he decides he wants marriage and kids soon are you ready for that?
Are you into the same things socially? What are your common interests? When the first heat of attraction wears off are you going to enjoy being with him?
Is he willing to introduce you to his friends and family or is he hiding the relationship as well?
Lastly, if your mom's not ok with this do you still want it? Are you going to be ok if it changes your relationship negatively? What are you going to go if your friends and family agree with her? How are you going to feel and deal with the situation if he just wants to fool around and you've given up your relationship with your mom to be with him?
I would think very carefully to the answers to those questions before you go forward with this. Once the two of you move to a sexual relationship the blow back of people reacting negatively, if they are going to, is going to be just about impossible to avoid.
Your mom will never forgive you. I made this mistake.
My mom dumped my dad years ago when I was 14 for a guy in his late 20s, he was cute, flirty, very witty, well built and I could tell he was good in bed by the screams of mother all night in next room. I once caught him coming out of the shower when I was sixteen and I could see why my mother made such loud noises in bed. Anyway we were always friendly and I was smitten with him and I could tell he lusted after me. My mother kinda started to get jealous of friendship and turned into a mega bitch at me. Eventually he left her, I met him again when i was at club aged 17, we hit it off, next thing I knew we were making out and taking a taxi to his place. The sex was mind blowing. My mother was back with my father who was happy to have her back but when I told her I was seeing her ex she attacked me, I haven't seen her since.
What? Is okay to date your mother's exboyfriend... YOUR MOTHER'S EX BOYFRIEND? Let me as you a question, would you be okay if your mom dated one of your ex boyfriends after introducing him to her and spending all that time together when him. Then you break up only to see this dude cuddling on the couch with your mom... are you insane? That's breaking the girl code on a whole other level. Now this guy has one hell of story to tell his friends, a story about how he banged the mom and daughter.. how do you not even see the game that's being played here?
It's okay in that it's not illegal... but the BEST thing I can say about it is that it's going to make things awkward with your mother.
Is it really worth it?
I already don't have a good opinion of this guy. Things don't work out with this girl so he goes after the daughter? And is demanding sexy photos on Facebook? That's a bad look for him. I believe the only positive male responses you might get are from the guys who wish they could take this guy's place.
I'd admit.. Tad bit strange, might cause strain/awkwardness between you and your mom.. But, ultimately while ethics might be questionable, it's really your discretion in the end.
If it's a turn on for ya, well hey different strokes for different folks 😅
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my vote is no. It's socially odd. somehow, I don't think you are going to walk away by your own strength. talked to mom about him and what happened with them, and what is going on? she's going to find out if you date him.
my vote is bad, but I'd suggest you get a counselor or good friend to bounce this off of. I don't trust you nor him, no offense. it's too hard to see clearly in these scenarios. Question is... will you lose your mom, is he just going to use you or is this legit something good. The fact of how he is engaging with you, makes me think this is bad... he doesn't have your best interests in mind. If he did, he'd express this differently.
Bruh. This is SO past violating girl code that I can't even begin to express how I feel. "Its been a while since they split up" "I'm 20".. So this guy has known you since you were a teenager and was in a position to become your DAD?
Have some fucking self respect, dump him, and hope your dear mother never find out.
No. Your mom will be family for the next 50+ years. 99.9% chance this guy will move on within 2 years. If you get with him your mom will feel betrayed and not trust you.
It’s easy to do things that you shouldn’t do. Stop doing things based on making yourself feel good & think about how it makes your mom feel. Also loyalty/commitment is a two-way street. If you get with this guy don’t count on your mom being there for you ever again in your life.
You’re first question I was like hell no.
You’re update; you’re wet because he slept with your mum? Insists on pictures from a young girl? Cool. He’s a borderline paedophille and you are insane or unstable. Bon voyage, don’t expect us or your mum to contribute to your therapy...
I personally wouldn't want to. Knowing that I may have sex with someone my mother also shared a physical relarionship with just seems wrong. I can't tell you what to do. But personally think its a bit gross. I guess the best way to answer your question is to tell you to put yourself in her shoes. If you were with a guy for a year and a half but then broke up, would you be totally ok with your mother dating him?
The way I look at it, so it's been along time but still. It's wrong. There's no way I could be with someone a family member of mine has been with. First thing I would think. Her mouth has been on his penis and I don't wanna know what my family taste like. And that my family has had sex with her or well him in your case. Plus it's just wrong.
His behavior is a potential red flag. If he is respectful and your mom doesn't care, I don't see a problem.
If you had any respect for your mother, you wouldn't even have to ask this question.
But then again, respect is earned, not given. If you don't have any respect for your own mom, there must be a reason why. So whatever she did to lose your respect forever, (probably what she did to your father) she can damn well live with the consequences now.
That would be very weird. In fact it may even seem that he went with your mom in order to get to you. I would stop all communication with this fake. By the way, how old is your mom? Just weird.
GIRL IT'S A TRAP PUT YOUR FEELINGS ASIDE AND RUN FAR AWAY. HE'S USING YOU.
No matter how careful or whatever you are, there is no prevention for emotional manipulation or grooming. You are really gonna regret this later. All you can do about it is being resilient on YOUR side. Put your ego or whatever away and end your conversations with him. Be smart!!
Umm... like eww. First of all why is your mom going out with a much younger guy! .. Second, that's your mother's ex! It seems disrespectful but hey, if you truly feel something for this guy then go for it? However, that wedding will be really awkward for your mom!
The idea of doing anything with a guy your MOTHER has already been with is completely vomit inducing. Yikes.
This is like some Jerry Springer type stuff going on. It just feels wrong. From reading your responses, I glean that you are just looking for validation to justify your decisions which may have been made out of spite
That is be so awkward. Even for you. Respect your mother. Don't remember, Everyone goes but family stay with you.
Of all the millions of men, in the world choosing your moms ex should be at the bottom of the list.
Omg hell NO so many god dawn man out there and you just had to pick your mom's ex. It's so obvious the he only wants to sleep with you. Sense he already had your mom why not the daughter to. I'm sorry but that's just nasty. He knows you like him that's why his taking advantage. You most stop that and find someone else who is worth it.
Tou do realise, if you do this, it will make it weird for you to face your mom and more so, you will be nothing more than an object of pleasure for the guy. He will never be serious for you
3.5 billion guys on this planet and you have to go out with this guy? SMH... lame
Are you seriously asking this question? That is highly immoral.
He was your moms boyfriend & now they are not with each other do you think why so? what happened?
Now he is with you what if you cheated?
You must think about your mom & tell them before meeting with that guy..
feel attracted that doesn't mean go with what you feel you must think practically dear...
Hope you will get your answer..
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