What's more important to you, romance or sex?

[nightdrot]

Somewhat to my own surprise, I would say sex.

Don't get me wrong. I love sharing time with my girlfriend - obviously. We've lived together for over a decade and have three children. I love making her happy and surprising her. Sometimes with something as simple as flowers, sometimes more.

Every year, around our "anniversary" - both when we met and when we moved in together - which out of sheer coincidence also happens to be around Valentine's Day, we take the kids to spend the weekend with "Bumpa and Munga." (That is Grandpa and Grandma for the un-initiated.) Then we either go to spend the weekend at the Hotel Washington - we live in DC - or at a B&B on the Chesapeake.

Then we have a weekend filled with dancing, romantic candlelit dinners, breakfast in bed. Long walks hand in hand. We do it up big. Oh, and yes, plenty of sex, too. I love the romance. I love seeing her smile. I love seeing her in a dress. Every bit of it turns me on and it is probably the weekend I most look forward to all year - even though I otherwise detest winter.

However, for all that, what matters most is when we have sex. In that moment I feel our deepest intimacy and most accepted. We tend to a very animal sex. Not BDSM, but very natural and primitive, with licking and even some biting and scratching.

That would seem kind of rough, but the truth is, in that moment, she is accepting me. There is no pretense. I am nothing other than what I am, stripped of everything but my raw self and giving her the most elemental thing a man can give a woman - my sperm, my seed. There is nothing else and yet she accepts me and gives herself to me unconditionally.

It is total giving and sharing and I need that. I need that to feel truly loved and secure. The funny part being that I am - generally but not always - the dominant alpha male. She subordinates herself to me and yet it stuns me that she trusts me and loves me so much to do that. I am actually at a loss for words just how loved that makes me feel and I love her all the more intensely for that.

There are moments when I need to be held and comforted. There are moments, especially when I suck on her breasts and she holds me when I suddenly - and I know this sounds more than a bit weird - feel like her baby and she is protecting me. It totally turns everything on its head.

Yet, in general, when I can be that beast. When we are just two animals breeding in a field and she just wants me inside her and dominating her, that is when I feel the most connection and the most love and I need that.

As I say, I do like the romance - especially because my girlfriend seems to much to enjoy it. For me too. She is beautiful and I love to see her eyes in the candlelight and her smile and to know that she feels loved and happy.

As you can tell, I love her with all my life and yes, I would be lost without her. However, there is something about sex that makes that real and palpable in a way that nothing else does.

[Investigator]

Romance is something I used to enjoy many eons ago, back when the simple act of taking out a girl I liked on a date was just fun and a good way to pass the time and not encumbered by assumptions of gender stereotypes and explanations about how men should still pay on a date despite women making as much as men while also being "Ms Independent" who "doesn't need no man". I know that the question is "does romance matter more or sex?", but the entire premise of this question is predicated on there being no assumption of finances or long-term planning. It's supposed to be this exciting thing that people engage in "because hormones", but that's the thing. Logistically, it just... isn't.

Riddle me this: why should I spend my time and money on a woman, if there's a higher-than-chance likelihood that she's currently trying to pursue a career and using me as a meal ticket because she has more important things to do and just can't be bothered, effectively wasting my energy? Life is finite and I have no need for a woman in my life who takes up space and offers me no value. If romance is how I get sex and time is money, then romance = sex = money spent. Surely, there is a way to optimize this equation, so that I get maximum return with minimal expenditure. Therefore, the short answer is "sex", but the long answer is "romance, because there's MAYBE more sex available or at least better sex." Probably "better", because engaging with fewer partners means less chance of spreading or contracting STIs.

Outside of that cost:benefit analysis, there's just no reason at all to date. Honestly, I want to go back to those times, when I was naive and it was new and fun and something I looked forward to, but I've since matured and now I know better. It's wishful thinking, at this point, to draw any other conclusion than "unless there is a high chance of immediate return on investment, with minimal intermittent issues, I'm wasting my time".

[VIVANT]

After the initial attraction

Respect compassion trust compatibility
> Romance > Sex

Romance is more important than sex but it is not most important for me..

I also am really not sure if I round get frustrated without sexual interaction when there is an abundance of physical affection. I’ve never been In a situation where I felt overloaded affectionately and deprived sexually.. I suppose what could get weird is it could feel too familial instead of romantic.

[ClearerAtN1ght]

I find them equally important. Sex without romance feels mechanical and forced after awhile for me. Without they emotional connection that comes with romance it feels to clinical.
On the other side all the romance in the world doesn't completely make up for no sex. The physical closeness, release of tension etc is hard to live without.

[DizzyDesii]

Romance with lots of kisses. Hugs are just ok. I only care for em from behind or when he's drowned in cologne. Holding hands is ok but my hands cramp up after a while. Kisses are everything 😍 and getting fingered. I could survive off those two for years

[SydneySentinel]

Romance... but sex is definitely included in that for me with a partner I care about-- a way of expressing my feelings for them.

[Apope16]

At the moment sex. In life romance and love.

[Desconhecida]

Romance, of course! Sex is a plus!

[AwesomeCookie]

I'll have to say romance but that includes sex

[Ronald_25]

Only sex is popular with late teens and young adults, but romance is where the depth comes in. Ask any man who is in a deep loving relationship with his partner, what the difference between romantic sex with his love and a one night stand with a random. In my books Romance trumps sex every time.

And when I have sex with the one I love, when I lock eyes and see her so happy and satisfied and almost glowing, I know she's the one.

A successful relationship starts with and emotional connection at first, the stronger the connection, the faster and more intense the sex is that follows...

[honorboundHeart884]

I ve had neither...

This world is crazied, either people be sexin like rabbits or loving like snakes on a plane lol

In all seriousness,

Romance , without for thought, and care is irresponsible.

Foreplay statistically is key in mutually reaching desired outcomes some of the time.

This need to mindlessly screw away, without, some common sense is why STDs and stis are on the rise.

If you want love and sex, choose to find real facts, choose your partners wisely, beyond their surface levels.

I may not have the experience you all may have, but I know what's is right and wrong, maybe a what is fools erand.

Sex is a primal act, love is requires more than just the physical to sustain what you precieve, desire.

At the end of the day, some people change like the wind, some are constant like time.

Happy and safe ventures you frisky fornicators lol

[Gods_Gift]

Sex
I want a nice, long-term relationship with a woman who's as attracted to me as I am to her, who I get on with and who I have things in common with. But sex is the deal-breaker. I can't have a celibate relationship, I'd just look for someone else.

Whereas I could have sex without a relationship, with the right woman at the right time. I'd rather not to be honest - I'd rather have the emotional connection of a relationship in the background - but if the circumstances are right it's doable.

Consequently sex is the more important thing. And consider this: who has relationships with a gender they're not sexually attracted to?

[Jackieboi]

I was about to say "keep the romance alive for months?" but then it hit me i find it ok if its not someone that lives near. So as long as its not someome that lives near the romance can be upheld for a couple of months. Anyway assuming i can meet the person regularily id say romance, mostly because then we can have sex as often as we want and relationship is "endgame". But if its not someone i can meet regularily id say sex from expecting there to be a lack of it. And besides if i can't see her regularily and were still keeping romance alive for months id have to admit it might be something worth the time.

[JNewbb]

Lol so sex isn't romantic at all? Attentiveness, admiration, spontaneity, effort, listening, respect, trust.

What is your definition of romantic? Planning a day out perhaps; so attentiveness, admiration, spontaneity, effort... well you get the idea.

[Stingray444]

Love/romance is.. you can have sex, but emotional sex can't happen unless you truly love someone with every littlest bit of your heart, and down to the deepest part of your soul.

If you lose them, then sex or even masturbating doesn't even mean anything anymore...

[_SOARER_]

The most intense romances are when you can't have sex for a while. The tension builds up and the couple must find other ways to show their affection.
Through these acts bonds are built, and those bond act as a bridge to sex.

I think Romance, sex is meaningless and empty without it.

[rosscore728]

I thought it took romance to get to the sex... where the fuck is the foreplay in this equation? Foreplay is a must. Romance wins the heart foreplay wins the vagina and sex wins the girl

[R_ūshī]

Romaaance ☺☺
I like being pampered and cuddled and loved and I also like spoiling my partner.

Sex is fun but romance brings a different kind of happiness.

[djmzes]

Simple

[Sacrilege_is_hawt]

can't have one without the other. Why have sex with someone you dont care about? If i just want to get off i can do that myself

[thedoctormsh]

I can’t do sex without romance. So romance is a major. I ll select romance. Otherwise I can survive with masturbation if I didn’t found a girl loves me to do a lovemaking romantic sex.

Sex without love is something disgusting and gross for me, it looks like a rape

[foriWish]

Romance totally. Nothing is like having sex with a person you have a strong romancing with. Makes one feel special

[ShadowofRegret]

Romance, a woman stroking my head while telling me how happy I make her is ideal for me.😊

[UncleRooster]

Both are important. Romance without sex can survive if you're in love but sex without romance is just fucking

[soleil2666]

This is the part women regularly get wrong - all romance, nice as it is, IS about sex.
The whole life revolves around procreating, and sex is the best part of it (love included, preferably)

[Rob171977]

Romance because without that a relationship other than a sexual one can't exist. With romantic there's love for your significant other and hot amazing sex with the sex relationship it's just sex no love no commitment just to naked bodies fucking each other with no strings attached

[SkipStop]

Neither. The most important to me is love from my family. And I got that.

[fionaglenanne]

romance... plus some people just like to make out rather than have sex.

[Avicenna]

Both are very important, but sex is more important.

[UglyestGuyEver]

i dont do any of those naughty things,
i am a man of god and will not commit any sick disgusting sins

[ravagesavage]

Nah it's just all about the sex cuz of ass and TITTAAAY!!! 🎶 Ass n titties, ass ass n TITTAAAAAAAAAAAAYS!!! 🎶

[Sarah44444]

I think romance is more important because romance can last a while. I can go a while without sex and making but I can't go without romance it hurts to much

[necozalenky]

Sex PLUS romance for me.
Sex without romance is often hollow, frustrating and a waste of time.
Romance is without sex is quite also frustrating and unfulfilling.

[StephenCF]

Same as you: romance first, but sex on the side to keep the relationship energized 👫❤️

[DanOh2018]

They are two sides of the same coin in my opinion. I'm a very sexual person but a loving relationship is just as important to me.

[Iuse2hands]

Romance.
Sex without romance is basically assisted masturbation.

[LogicBomber]

For women it's generally love/romance/emotion/sex.
For men it's generally sex.

[GhostMochi]

Romance for me, obviously. I haven't had sex now and I don't plan on doing it anytime soon. :)

[TyPilot]

Romance is incredibly crucial to a Relationship if it's going to be healthy, and to last. Sex is a special activity to play for some "fun time", which can help substantially in keeping the flame alive.

[Therisinghero12]

If I had to pick between the two then definitely romance, but given more options I would choose fun, I'm here to enjoy life not live out a movie.

[0112358]

I think I agree with your thought but that’s why I’d say sex. In the long run sex without romance is shallow, romance without sex eventually is toxic.

[arabgoddess]

To get sex, you need romance.. They go hand in hand! I just want connection above all!

[Emay71]

A healthy balance of both those things, plus a bit of a friendship feel as well. One for love, one for trust, and one for lust.

[SincerelyAnon]

Romance & intimacy (intimacy doesn't necessarily mean sex. For me it doesn't mean sex.)
Romance is much more important to me than sex though.

[ohshee]

I want both at the sametime i like being a lover a teaser a joker i like to feel and augh before get serious about giveing her pleasures

[MotherEarth2020]

Romance keeps things alive, fun, exciting. Sex is the benefit. It's the bonding between 2 people. They go hand in hand.

[13IsALuckyNumber]

Romance. Asexuals have it so easy with questions like this.

[s2firestar]

Both are equally important. But when you cannot have sex for whatever reason, at least have romance.

[lucas262]

Sex alone is hollow.
Romance is hollow with out an expression of what you feel.

Neither are at their max with out true love. And before you gag i mean the old school kind of true love, the literal in sickness and in health
Poverty or wealth kind.

[Shamalien]

100% romance I'm basically a woman, but an old fashioned woman who respects herself lol

[Marinaughty]

Sex... I'm not into romantic things; flowers? Waste of money, he can buy things useful instead

[midnightmoon05]

Both very important.
Can’t and won't have sex without romance/connection.

[anon1903]

I don't have to browse through all the opinions to know people are claiming LOVE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT.

imao neither.

[clampfan101]

Romance all the way! Sex is meaningless without romance.

[Twalli]

Romance, that is why I won't go past oral for the first few months.

[Rundown]

So then what defines a relationship, from a "friendship"?

[Exorcist_Rampage]

Romance by far. Sex is just a connecting factor and not the deciding factor.

[RaindropSparkle]

Both. Can’t really have one without the other IMHO.

[Dtegesd123]

Doesn't being romantic kinda include having at least a little bit of sex. I think Romance is more important.

[_Abel_]

They're both equally important. Relationships have an emotional component and a physical component.

[Ripper_E]

Romance. Sex has it's role in a relationship but romance keeps every day feeling like you are in love with the one you are with. Sex does not do that.

[MissDawn7961]

being romanced ! being romanced ! being romanced ! being romanced !

[Reaperbot666]

balance of the both. but maybe

60% sex
40% romance

[SexyAshh]

Im an extremly sexual person, not so much into the romance aspect.

Definatly sex.

[MilaRay]

Romance is far more fulfilling but can be devastating. Sex is simple and easy to get. Sex is important but Romance is more important