If a guy has never dated, would you assume he’s not straight?

[Anonymous]

I’ve never dated. I don’t talk to girls or approach and I stopped trying online dating because I don’t think I would do well. I think I would be turned down by everyone. I really feel hopeless.

[chistonejr]

No, I wouldn't assume that at all. I would assume that he has an issue with simply talking with girls do to this confidence. I am one of those guys, so I know exactly what you mean. I have learned that girls find it most attractive when you are someone who has goals and is working on building yourself. Also, girls are weird, so there may have been girls who have liked you in the past that you just have not noticed the small little signs they were planting to get you to notice them. They would never outright tell you to your face that they like you. There are only a few girls who would. So focus on improving your flaws as a person and work hard to succeed in life and I bet you girls will notice you more.

[Asker]

Some girls have liked me but I don’t feel good enough to date them. I have goals like wanting to be a lawyer or businessman and I have a decent amount of money saved. Even if I do become successful I would still feel very inferior to others. I have felt this way since I was a little kid

[chistonejr]

And it's okay to feel like that. Like I said, all of this that you're saying is the same thing that I am handling now. You say that this is something that you have been handling since you were younger, but that just means you still have a lot to work on yourself for.

That's what I mean. Identify yourself more. What can you do to improve your view of yourself? You can start by getting that idea of the impossible out of your head and remind yourself that you're more capable that you actually believe.

Stop putting yourself down!

[Asker]

Thank you. You seem like a wise mentor. You should be a guidance counselor

[chistonejr]

No problem. I'm just a youngin like you trying to learn life

[pigoat]

Yes a lot of people have thought i was gay for having never been with a woman

Even all my psychologists ask me if I'm gay

[Asker]

Why do they ask that?

[pigoat]

I literally put it in my 1st comment lol

[jesskittie]

No i would just think that maybe he's too scared to talk to girls or too shy or maybe he's just not ready emotionally for a relationship

[Asker]

Sigh... I wonder if it happens with girls too

[jesskittie]

It does happen to girls, and sadly im one of those girls. Guys are not the only ones this happens to

[Asker]

well I wish you luck but it seems there are a lot of lonely people

[fantaSEE]

Some of my friends think that I’m not straight because I haven’t dated a guy yet.

[Asker]

Why haven’t you? You’re 100

[TylerR]

Same here, it's a common occurrence that family assumes you aren't straight because you aren't able to talk to women. Personally I think it's bullshit

[Asker]

I just feel ashamed of it. Like my parents keep asking me why I’m not going on any dates

[TylerR]

Be upfront about it, just say that you just don't have the confidence to be in a relationship right now.

[Sevenpointfive]

sometimes it's so hard for people to get that the outside doesn't match the inside. i've even been called anorexic for not eating at lunch! i don't need to eat like they do. all that matters is that you live your life the way that makes you the most comfortable.

[Asker]

@Sevenpointfive

I do want to date but someone who I feel comfortable with

[Sevenpointfive]

it gets a lot easier to pick out who those people are when you are older

[Lance1965]

My first thought I have with anyone (male or female) that has never dated is that they are socially awkward and nothing to do with being gay.

[Asker]

I am very awkward cause I don’t feel good enough to be talking to girls

[Sevenpointfive]

if he's never tried to at least pay for time with a woman i would

[Asker]

Pay?

[Sevenpointfive]

nothing's free. might as well be straight up about it

[Asker]

I’m sad

[slatyb]

No, I assume he’s suffering social anxiety, low self-esteem, depression.

if you can, see a professional counselor. It helped me.