Why is it, that nice guys do always finish last and die lonely?

[myke1980]

[SuperManiac]

In my blunt opinion, I really think it's the opposite way around. The people who finish last will always cling onto their good intentions. "I would have made the best worker if they only hired me, not that asshole." "I would have made such a great girlfriend if he didn't date that dumb bitch." It is very easy for those who finish last to dwell on the hypothetical of how noble and good they would have been if only they were chosen.

So I don't necessarily think it's the case that nice guys always finish last. Rather, I think guys who finish last will often believe they're so nice. It's very easy when all else fails to cling onto our good intentions. "If only they understood how well-intentioned I am, if only they understood how much I care."

[SuperManiac]

If anyone finds themselves in these shoes, then I would offer some brutal advice to put aside that thinking and realize that there are things like charm, skill, etc, required to excel in these sorts of areas. But they can be developed. Yet they typically won't be developed by someone finishing last who things it's just a matter of finding someone who notices their good intentions.

[SuperManiac]

If I use an analogy, take a girl who is working towards morbidly obese. There might be a guy out there who can look past that, but she's playing very slim odds. And most likely she will resent how guys are going after the slimmer ones, and very likely she will believe she would make the greatest girlfriend -- because she will want it more than anyone due to the lack of attention she receives. But it's like as long as she's clinging to her good intentions, she's missing probably the best thing to improve her odds which is to try to lose some of that excess weight.

[rjroy3]

Because they're weak. If your defining feature is "nice" you are failing as a man.

You can be kind, sweet, caring and a good guy. But those have deeper value. A sense of sincerity that goes beyond just being inoffensive. Kind is a choice, sweet and caring are personality traits. Being a good guy means you are your own person. Nice means you haven't offended me yet so at least I can say you haven't been a dick to me yet.

Nice means you're the guy who has done everything to avoid criticism. What's that famous quote?

“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.” ― Elbert Hubbard

That's a good way of summing it up. Being a nice guy is being someone who avoids all criticism.

[BarZimra]

Let me give you the honest truth. Nice guys who are easy to walk over always finish last. Good men who have strong character and moral compass always finish first. However just because you are a nice guy does not mean you will always die lonely. My belief is always someone out there for you

[vintagegirl90]

if you have these insecurities it’s will end this way if you continue to believe this. However if you have a little bit of confidence and are a genuinely nice guy and prove it constantly without faltering you wouldn’t end up last, you’d be reaping all the benefits.

[Khaliid_Rahiim]

From my experience, as well as asking the other sex, a lot of females like men with a bit of bad in them. This is not to say they want men that will hurt them, but they are attracted to men that can be mean when it calls for it.

With me, I was overly a nice guy once. The girl I was with at the time wanted me to be mean to others when it called for it, as well as to go against her sometimes and not always try to resolve everything peacefully. I went overboard one summer and had to turn the "bad" way down. In the end, I overdid myself and we broke up.

Moral of the story: strike a balance. You can be nice, just don't be nice ALL the time.

[CallMeGarth]

Whether you die lonely is up to you. I know people in relationships who are lonely. I know single people who have great social lives.

As for attracting women, it depends what you’re looking for. If you want a long term, committed relationship, love and respect are essential. Regardless, insecurity is not sexy; ladies love confidence.

[MotionMountainn]

Because most females this day in age want instant gratification sex and are unfaithful and we are not fun to them.. it sucks bro I feel you. They like an outspoken loudmouth who commands attention.. not a reserved stoic gentleman like myself. Generally speaking.

[soleil2666]

Erm, because they didn't exercise 🤣

Come on dude, cheer up a bit - who said nice guys finish last and die lonely? If that's what it takes, give yourself a push to get a bit more sociable and at least learn how to set some boundaries by avoiding the un-nice people (which will unmake you a 'nice guy' if by that you mean a guy who lets every a-hole who wants to show off push him over - those are a waste of time and to be avoided whenever possible, they cost too much energy to push back on)

[slatyb]

Most of the nice guys I know are doing well. They are happy with lovely wives or girlfriends. But there are a lot of guys who claim to be "nice" but really aren't.

[Liam_Hayden]

Because "nice guys" (as opposed to genuinely nice guys who treat everyone equally well) are really wimpy manipulators who pout when their "nice guy punch card" doesn't translate into sex.

[TahoeHiker]

They don't. Don't believe the bad boy who told you that. They will lie, cheat and steal just to finish first.

[GirlyPearly]

People with victim mentalities are unattractive.

[Nikki1989]

^ This.

[Bloodcap790]

So that's basically all women

[DiscomfortZone]

Because "nice guys" are pathetic little slaves who expect sex in return for being pathetic.

[skeetskeetskeet]

Because your niceness is not what makes that pussy wet... its boring and pathetic

[Bloodcap790]

Because they are so nice that they would let the grim reaper kill them and take their souls

[5_AM_Oracle]

Because they're not nice, but think they are

[Wolkmi]

most people aren't nice, most women aren't nice

[5_AM_Oracle]

@Wolkmi yes idd. Those people finish last usually

[Wolkmi]

Is not that way, worse people get dates everytime, good people too. Its about attraction, luck

[5_AM_Oracle]

@Wolkmi it doesn't mean that if they get dates, they get a wife. People who can't commit are still not succesful in the long term. And yep attraction is important, but 'nice' guys aren't attractive because when we speak 'nice guy' we mean 'guys who claim they're nice, but aren't'

[Wolkmi]

When can say the same to "nice girls", the are many more entlitement women. The whole term is stupid, being nice is not bad

[5_AM_Oracle]

@Wolkmi 'nice' in itself isn't bad. But it's like ehm.. how do I say it a saying? A stereotype? The Nice Guy.
Nice is another word for good, but because this is a stereotype, it's a bad thing. Don't take that word literally here

[jonesin4u]

Because women think it's a sign of weakness

[Greyleaf1976]

I'm nice and lonely