Or the same with the standards, why women can "aim" higher at a man with more salary or education or high, or an adventurous man when she is not, or attractive. But if a man says that he wants an attractive woman who can take care of him, or with greater qualities than him, you will blame him and say that it is unrealistic.
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+1 y
When I said "caring" I meant "helping out": In a problem, help emotionally, to be confident, I didn't necessarily mean being a househusband, it's good that someone support you but for a while, it's not what I'm looking for, it would be better if your partner helps you finding a job that makes you dependent.
Why is it okay for women to search for a man to care of her (not only in her problems and emotionally but financially) but not the other way around?
Because that's how society has been structured. Women have looked for men to be their dependents. Men have been seen only for money and protection. This leads to codependency which in ways holds people together. In the past this had real benefits. In the modern world this leads to unhealthy relationships. Old ways are still embedded in the minds of modern thinking. Currently women in many ways want to have it all but it simply can't work. The ways of old and new are compatible. So as when develope Independence the old ways and conditioning with start to fade. Not an easy transition. Women are now more educated and making more. Guys are finding they have less opportunity because they're more competitors.
Hypocrisy and double standards will be the norm for the next 5-10 years as new societal norms are accepted and applied. Status, income, dependency, stay at home parent, breadwinner, marriage. All things that are changing. Equal independent partners will be the norm. The rest of the old ways of thinking will fade, not without a fight of course.
Because it is women that get pregnant and do most of the childrearing. So women evolved to be more picky than men with who they sleep with.
Whereas men evolved to pretty much wanna fuck anything that walks.
What that means is that 80% of women are sleeping with 40% of men - and the rest of men are rejected.
Nature seems to take more chances with men - for any given trait, it is less evenly distributed amongst men than it is amongst women. So e. g. more men than women are highly intelligent. But also more men than women are highly stupid. Women are more in the middle, generally.
So nature seems to experiment with men - and the experiments that don't work "in the wild", i. e. in the environment they are born into - are not selected for reproduction by women.
Men can also take care of the baby or reduce their workday. There are maternity leave, in my country public nurseries
I understand what you say but putting ourselves in animal plan the animals also resort to dirty tactics such as procreating when the female does not expect it, in mantis or spiders putting a bait so she does not kill him when reproduces, etc.
Sure, but I am talking about market dynamics. You can't change women's deeply ingrained psychology. It has been laid down over thousands of years. But you can move somewhere where you are in higher demand. Maybe there are fewer women than men there. Maybe you are particularly attractive in some way compared to the other men there. That is basically what men from the West do when they move to South-East Asia or South America or Africa, and suddenly they get much more attention from women.
Just from experience, women want those things in a man but we also go on with life. We work, have kids, go to school, care for the home, etc.
Men who typically look for a woman to take care of them are actually looking for a second mother, not a partner. I don’t mind being supportive but I’m not your mom.
Most women are, which is why a lot of men take advantage of women. It even took me a while to realize I was taking care of a man like a mother instead of supporting him like a partner. A lot of women are not looking for a second father.
I don't know, when I made my profile on ChinaLoveCupid, I literally put "medically disabled" and "looking for a woman who has her own money."
Then I get hundreds and hundreds of perfect "ten" bilingual rich women messaging me first, who the match maker didn't even match me with at first. I don't even know how they find my profile, but they are all real. I've talked to several of them, but Snow is the best so far. I'm just waiting for her to sort out her family problems so we can meet.
They love white guys, and evidently they think I'm a perfect "ten". Even though the facial symmetry calculator thing only rates me an "8.3".
you've just joined the human race it's not to say every woman does that but it does happen all the time when couples marry... unfortunately $$$ enters the equation in one way or another... I think we're in the worst time period to be alive... I don't know because I haven't lived in other time periods... all I know is i'm not happy.
Because she plans to stay at home with the kids, being a housewife. Do you want to do that? If she does not want to be a housewife and give him a family or something else in return it is not okay for her to do this. Quit generalising men vs women, no-one should be using another selfishly. Should I name all the things men get away with that women don't? It wouldn't matter. If you were a woman is this the kind of life you'd want? Drain some men of what they have? If not then why do you care
@Shy_Steve I am saying if a woman is looking for a man to provide for her financially should offer something back like be a housewife and take care of kids or something else. I did not say all women have to be housewives, I just mean if you take something you should also give something
Women give birth to babies, the only thing man can do for their unity is financial support so she doesn't have to do everything. Lately men have an issue with this cause women want equal rights so they think its ok for women to do everything by themselves. One thing is to allow woman to do what she wants and another use that as an excuse to not help her. Not all women want man that provides but its usually this, so you bring something to the table.
Women and men can "aim" for whatever they want. Getting it is another story. Most guys with their life together are not going to choose an incompetent woman. And similarly competent women will not choose incompetent men. Accomplished men choose accomplished women and vice versa.
because we’re men it’s literally our job to take care of our family women take care of the house and kids and men went out to hunt (21sr century work) The man who makes the most money can take of is family there’s a reason why we’ve had generals for over 10,000 years some traditions are worth holding onto
Who says a man can't? There are plenty of kept men. The problem is, are they willing to put themselves I a subservient role for a woman to take care of them? You can't really call yourself man of the house if you dependent on someone else.
Women simply don't like it. That's all it is. Women make the demand, but men aren't as bothered, so we only see pressure going one way.
Of course, there's women who say it's okay but it's few that it's true for. Most make excuses and defer blame to men. Like, "I'm fine with it but men don't like it, so I won't" or "there's something wrong with him for wanting that." Remember kids, a woman is never to blame, ever.
The way the world is set up w patriarchy and the inequal salaries plus all the stuff going with the biological clock? But relying completely on someone else isn't very safe regardless of the gender.
It is... I expect her to help take care of me... vice versa. If they dont then they're not worth the time and effort. These standards and ideas are societal and stupid as fuck
Blatant hypocrisy, that, and another double standard to which I don't subscribe. If a girl is looking for me as a man to take care of emotionally, support her, etc., she must be capable of doing the same for me.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
It is not OK. A woman needs to look after herself first and the man is just the icing on the cake.
Because since the beginning of time we were the cowboys that provided and protected our families while the women bared children. Times have changed though.
Home > Dating > Questions > Why is it okay for women to search for a man to care of her (not only in her problems and emotionally but financially) but not the other way around?
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